Puberty Schmuberty

[Pippedydeadeye]

I might need some help.

Squeak has perfected her eye roll, and today she’s been crying for absolutely no reason whatsoever, like, not even at the injustice of our parenting. MrMcLip and I have quickly conferred and we reckon she is bound to start her periods very soon. I’ve always suspected she’d be earlier than I was, and that it would be during primary school, mostly down to her height. It would be straightforward enough if not for her going on a school residential trip tomorrow. I’m going to slip a little care pack in her bag, and have a talk to her about what to do if she does start this week. Hopefully being prepared will mean it’s actually just tiredness.

[Ruby]

Oh Pip. I've simultaneously bitched about my kids on a different thread.

I remember being very hormonal - in like cycles - for about 3 months before my periods started. My mum kept saying I was about to start my periods, which you can imagine went down well and I remember slamming a lot of doors.

[Pippedydeadeye]

I just saw your post! Yes, it’s exactly like that. Plus I took her shopping and bought everything she wanted for this trip, and she then pulled the tags off a top and told me she hated it. FFS! She has since thought twice, but not until we split the cost of another hoodie (Superdry!) with her. Seriously, I was still wearing clothes my nanna made at her age.

I’d say let’s hold each other until this is over, but let’s not. Let’s just bitch on the internet instead.

[Beena]

You can get tiny panty liners, Pip. Not the scented ones. Bambs used to get a bit of other discharge before her periods started properly and those made it all seem less ick for her.

I've always been quite firm with her about acting out. You can acknowledge it's hormones and sympathise while not putting up with any of their shit. We've had the hating something after pulling off the tags too (shoes are the main victims of this trick). I now deduct the cost of the not-worn item from any future purchases. Amazing how that plusva withering look makes them more discerning.

[Loralei]

Oh god, the clothing indecision! I've had reasonable luck returning (obviously unworn) stuff without the tags - I think a lot of retail people have been in the same boat - but Bert tries it with shoes too, which means she now has to wear new shoes round the house for about three weeks before they're allowed outside. It doesn't help that she's a funny shoe size.

I think she's in the early stages of hormone hell. I was only a year older than her when I started my periods but I was a lot bigger (fatter) than her, which I had assumed was more relevant than height. Anyway I think she's a while off yet but her moods are a sight to behold. She's needed deodorant for a few months, which meant I had to buy some for J too, in a diplomatic move.

I think the period pack and chat sounds ideal to assuage your and Squeak's anxiety.

[bramblerose]

If you've got your receipt then tagless unworn items can be returned.

I do feel for you though - it is horrendous for them (and us) to go through.

[Smunder Woman]

Puberty is a dick. At least you have a few years before your house smells of bums and Lynx

I remember my periods taking me totally by surprise, I was aware they would happen at some point, but don't remember feeling they were imminent. Until I bled half to death in my grans house one night. The pack sounds like a great idea.

[Morganna]

Oh goodness - it doesn't seem five minutes since they were babies .

S was conspicuously vile for ages, which I put down to impending puberty. She perfected a strange combination of over-sharing and neurotic secrecy, so that I was always on the wrong foot when it came to personal discussions. We'd had the talk and a period pack lived (unused) in her bag for ages, until it reached the point where I was going to ask the GP about her not having started yet. It turned out that she had done so at eleven, but decided it was none of my business .

That's not much help, is it? Maybe get her a wheat bag in case she gets pains? S had a hippo one, and she did use it a lot, but without any sort of disclosure. It was strange, as we've never been a family for taboos - I think it was less about embarrassment than about keeping some sort of control in what can be a changeable time. They do go from childhood to adolescent very quickly, and it must be scary for them.

[Kleio]

Betty is currently a massive bundle of hormones. She’s a year younger than I was when I started but my Mum remembers me being overally emotional for a long time before it happened.

We’ve had one strop after another today and she bursts into tears at a drop of a hat. She dislikes me asking her if it’s the wrong time of the month.

Pip, my niece was tall at Squeaks age and we thought it would be during Primary School but she’s in Year 7 now and it still hasn’t happened.

Morgs, what did S do for products if you didn’t know?

[Morganna]

Morgs, what did S do for products if you didn’t know?

She used mine, and bought her own with her pocket money. I used to have a bowl on the window sill in the loo, and kept san-pro in it, so that if any of her friends needed it they didn't have ask. She must have used that, too, although I didn't need to stock it up more than I would have expected. It was such a strange thing to do, but it went on for years, rather than months.

[Ruby]

I’d say let’s hold each other until this is over, but let’s not. Let’s just bitch on the internet instead.

Yes, let's.

The SAM is grumpy and greasy but otherwise definitely not pubescent, despite being 13. I was a late developer though and he's still quite little. He doesn't even smell yet.

I have to be quite brutal to get him to wash his hair though.

[Pippedydeadeye]

I’ve dug out some Always Ultra and shown her what to do if she needs it.

She’s described how she feels and it sounds like classic PMT to me, but this could go on a while I expect. I’m not ready for this! It doesn’t help that I have a mirena and therefore no periods myself.

[Pippedydeadeye]

(She absolutely does smell post exercise now too.)

[Topcat]

I am absolutely dreading this when it happens. I'm terrified that I'm going to fuck it all up.

[smalex]

Oh Pip, what bad timing (potentially). You're a great mum for being on the ball and prepping her (emotionally and practically).

[Luna]

I am absolutely dreading this when it happens. I'm terrified that I'm going to fuck it all up.

I think the best option is to be low key and run stuff past H's mum. I remember feeling horrified that my dad would know about periods and bras etc and didn't want my mum to tell him. I was quite secretive about it all. I grew out of it and then he buggered off anyway.

[Beena]

I am absolutely dreading this when it happens. I'm terrified that I'm going to fuck it all up.

I think the best option is to be low key and run stuff past H's mum. I remember feeling horrified that my dad would know about periods and bras etc and didn't want my mum to tell him. I was quite secretive about it all. I grew out of it and then he buggered off anyway.

I'm just thinking of Js horrified face at Bambs' candour recounted a woeful tale of changing a tampon earlier this week. I've always promoted being completely open and having no shame, but yes, might have gone a little too far.

[Luce]

My best friend is going thought this is with her just-turned-10 year old. Her daughter has started to get hair and will soon need a bra and the emotions in their house are mental. It's been like that for nearly a year now but my friend was 15 when she started her period so is totally thrown by the possibility of it being a 10 year old.

I'd do exactly what you're doing and make her feel as prepared as possible but with any luck she might still have a while yet. Poor sod. I'm forever grateful that mine started in the summer holidays.

[happyhighlandcoo]

Ah the trials and tribulations of puberty.

I'm sure you've already done this but do speak to the teachers too, especially for a residential but also for Topcat. I'm a year 6 teacher and always supporting girls with starting their period. It is obviously much easier to support them if someone tells you (either the child or the parents) rather than having to guess.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Well, tiny bit difficult to do that since she’s gone today and we realised on a Sunday afternoon. It’s by no means a certainty but now I feel extra shit. Cheers.