Early Pregnancy Thread

[Princess Morripov]

It was so horrible second time round not being able to nap when I wanted I found the tiredness hit like hell around 3pm and Tupac has always been a late morning napper so I just would try and survive it in a bit of a daze, I really sympathise. And the amount of times I’d rush around getting ready, getting to work, not having breakfast (as I never normally would) and missing the mark on eating in time to not feel absolutely disgusting for the rest of the day, it was so grim. I have nothing helpful to add sorry, I hope you feel less grim soon.

[Kenickie]

I'm glad eating helps. Horrible for you though.

[lorri_b]

That sounds really grim Beatrix. I hope it eases off soon.

I'm feeling really awful at the moment. Came down with what I thought was flu. Urine results came back yesterday with some type of infection. So that's me on antibiotics for a week.

I have my 12 week scan on Friday, crossing my fingers I'm well enough to go.

[lorri_b]

I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit low Beatrix. I don't think it's fair on yourself to compare your experiences to those who have had it worse though.

Your first labour experiences sounds very familiar to me. My first labour I found very traumatic too. It was very long, complicated and upsetting. I have some gaps too (apparently I was offered a c-section but declined!).

When I was pregnant with my second, I was pretty terrified of doing it again. But it was the complete opposite of the first time. I found it very healing.

The care already sounds much better that you've experienced, and the midwife sounds great.

I've heard good things about 'Give birth like a Feminist' book being very empowering, might be worth a read.

[Estrella]

When I was pregnant with my second, I was pretty terrified of doing it again. But it was the complete opposite of the first time. I found it very healing.

This is exactly my experience. Highly medicalised, stressful first birth. That actually I didn’t realise the extent of until a midwife looked at the birth notes during my pregnancy with S. But second time was a dream. I was better equipped mentally too. About the control I was able to assert.

I hope you’re ok, Bea.

[Rhodonite]

I'm sorry you had such a hard birth the first time around.

I can really really recommend the online course (or they do a book too) from The Positive Birth company. It is a hypnobirthing course, but not in a woo type of way. It's very science based, and sort of coaches you in all the questions you might want to ask during your pregnancy and labour, to ensure you are making informed decisions.

Here's a wee clip of them talking through using the acronym BRAIN, to help you ask questions.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7l1MlA0pyg8

It really helped calm me down before the birth second time around.

[Kenickie]

I hope you're feeling better, Lorri.

I'm sorry you had such a bad birth experience, Beatrix. It's good that your midwife sounds much better this time. I think it also helps to talk about it especially to people who can explain things to you.

On the sickness front, it may not officially qualify as hyperemesis if you're not losing weight/dehydrated, but it's definitely not something you should just put up with just because other people have it worse, and I think waking up to be sick and having it last through the whole pregnancy is definitely towards the much worse side of normal. You may not want to have medication which is totally your decision, but the first line stuff (cyclizine etc) is very low risk to the baby (it was only the other stuff that I was prescribed by the hospital where there was evidence of possible issues), so it might be worth a try to see if it does help at all? But if you don't feel comfortable taking anything then obviously that doesn't mean you don't deserve to complain as much as you want.

[Kenickie]

That's great that they offered it to you - very proactive! I think don't suffer anymore than you have to add it's such a rubbish time anyway and must be really hard with M to look after as well.

I think cyclizine is in the same category as paracetamol if that helps your decision at all.

[Rhodonite]

That's exactly the experience the woman who runs the course had, Beatrix. She thought her birth was fine and totally normal because everything you see and hear about birth, is what she experienced! Then in her next pregnancy someone (a mw I think, I can't quite remember) described it as traumatic, and it threw her a bit. Then she realised it didn't have to be that way.

A birth can still end with induction, or with an epidural or c-section but as long as you are making informed decisions along the way, you'll feel much more in control.

You get access to a private Facebook group, and I loved reading so the birth stories every evening. I still need to do mine actually.

[Froozy]

I’m sorry you had such a difficult experience first time, Beatrix. Do you think asking for a birth reflection thing would help? It’s great your midwives are so proactive and supportive this time.

Would it be worth getting the cyclizine now and keeping it for if you feel you need it? I really hope the sickness settles down for you soon.

[lorri_b]

How are you doing Beatrix? Has the sickness eased off at all?

[happyhighlandcoo]

Gosh, I'm sorry for your friend Beatrix, that's very tough and horrible odds. Hopefully she'll be in the 2/3 that is OK but what a scary thing for her to go through. Hoping things will be OK for her.

[Mayday]

I'm so sorry for your poor friend Beatrix. I had higher results with my middle son and it was just awful. The waiting was the worst part. I hope things turn out OK for her.

[lorri_b]

A very similar result came back for my best friend. She paid for the Harmony test privately, which came back with 99% sure baby didn't have a chromosomal abnormality. All was fine, but it was a very stressful time. I hope things work out for your friend.

The sickness sounds so horrible, I really hope you get some relief in the next few weeks.

I'm 13 + 3 weeks now, due on 31st July. I had my scan last week and all was well. This pregnancy has been so much harder so far. I've got another UTI now, have felt run down for weeks and just feel so tired all the time. I feel bad for complaining as I know the most important thing is a healthy baby.

[Lily]

Beatrix, you poor sod. I have no advice at all, but my heart goes out to you.

I do wonder if your sickness was looked at, if you might feel a bit better. It might be worth seeing a dcotor nonetheless.

[rosy]

I don't think that level of sickness is necessarily par for the course, Beatrix (if I call you Béatrice from time to time please forgive me; one of my nieces is called Béatrice so autocorrect takes over!). All six of my pregnancies had different levels of sickness, ranging from none at all with P and also with the two that I lost, to once or twice a day with C and N easing off at 13 weeks, to all day every day for the entire pregnancy with J. I think it's worth talking to your GP - for the sickness and also to let them know about your low mood.

I hope things improve, and that your friend gets some good news.

[Kenickie]

I think being sick so often that you've pulled muscles in your neck is definitely not par for the course. And even if it was something that every pregnant woman experienced, that's no reason to keep suffering when there's something that can be done about it.

Being constantly sick is really horrible, and it massively affected my mood when I was pregnant. Looking back, I think I was actually depressed because of it at some points and I totally recognise some of your feelings - and I didn't have the added stress and pressure of a toddler to look after too. I really think that physically feeling better in general will help with feeling better mentally. You're not at all stupid for wanting another child, and you had no way of knowing that it would be this hard. Please look after yourself and take any help you can.

I'm glad you can get a break at the weekend, and hope you can take advantage of any other offers for help.

[Kenickie]

Sorry if that's a bit . When I look back, the one thing I'd change (well, apart from not having hyperemesis and all the other complications obvs ;) ) is trying to struggle on because others might have had things worse, and not just accepting that things were rubbish and I needed help.

[Lily]

Being sick is horrible; it leaves you wrung out and headachey and feeling weak. Being sick regularly, when you're dealing with pregnancy and tiredness and a demanding little one, to the point where you injure yourself, is serious and I'm not surprised you are feeling low! You do not have to struggle on, Ken is quite right. Please do see the doctor, you poor sausage.

[lorri_b]

How bad does your sickness need to get before you think it does warrant a doctor visit? Because to me, it sounds awful and you sound very low. I would say that absolutely warrants help.

Pregnancy is hard enough without adding another child going through a tricky stage, and frequent sickness.

I hope things go okay for your friend next week too.