Rage at your life partner here

[Red]

I am quietly seething at Mr for just generally not pulling his weight. He does most of the cooking which I am eternally grateful for as I generally hate it, but it seems that most other things are now the default for me.
I could just not do them of course, when he runs of out clothes and underwear he will put a wash on, but there is loads of life admin that has been ticking on for a while and if I don't ask him specifically to do stuff, he just assumes I sort it. Which I do.

He is very capable and goes through spells of really doing loads, but we've played this particular game many times before. Sometimes he says he likes when I give him 'a kick up the arse' which makes me rage that I have to lose my shit for him to listen and pay attention.

[Duophonic]

This is us too Red. Mine once said 'Give me a list', I'm not your mother.

Mine won't ever put himself out of his comfort zone and it's adjacent to my moan about him upthread.

Today we argued:

He's asked me to buy shares that I'm entitled to in work, fine not an issue.
The instructions I've been given are to print off documentation and 'wet ink' sign them in a previously agreed meeting. We don't have a working printer so I casually asked if he could pop into the library during his lunch hour (two min walk from his work).

Him: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! THEY'RE USELESS IN THERE! THEY WON'T DO AS I SAY! Shout shout shout
Me: I don't know how to do it either but I'll do whatever anyone else who doesn't know how to do something, I'll ask them.
Him: now slightly calmer - You know they won't do it as they're incapable of doing anything sensible in there.

I now refuse to answer him, get dressed to go out, head to the library print off the documentation, and head home.

Him: Did they do it for you?
Me: of course they did, all I had to do was ask and pay them for the print job.

I think the issue is I've married someone who is also autistic and having two autistic people in a relationship isn't great. I've had to mask every day for nigh on 50 years so I'm now immune to making myself look like a fool, evidently he hasn't.

[Pippedydeadeye]

As if library staff could ever be mean! Even I help people with printing and I hate doing it.

[Duophonic]

He's not wrong in that the staff in there either try and avoid you (he's in there every week, he's a regular borrower) or don't know how to help but he just won't ask the question for fear or looking a fool.

As my previous moan about being the driving force I just won't ask him to do anything ever again. I've had twenty years of it I'm the one that's a slow learner.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Yeah, I’ll do anything to avoid having to help, but if asked directly I will do it.