IWLTS it is 2023

[Marth]

I hope she feels she can say "nice idea, but will stick to a solo bday"

[FiveO'Clock]

If it was my child's actual birthday and plans were having to be made two months out, I would have suggested something similar but would have mentioned it privately while offering to do half the work and split the costs.

[Little My]

I mean, it's probably karma for organizing this waaay too far in advance. :)) It's two week's after the host's birthday, which falls during the holidays which makes it hard to get everyone pinned down. The second kid's birthday falls a week after the sleepover. Will his parents stay over as well, and help make breakfast? Hmm? :lol:

[FiveO'Clock]

That's weird then - they can schedule it for a week or two later.

[Kenickie]

That's really weird.

I think I'd say something like 'good idea but don't think my child is keen to share, kids eh! They'll be really pleased to have another birthday sleepover the next week though!'

[Little My]

It will be interesting to see how it plays out. I don't know either of the parents well enough to guess, but my suspicion is that the boys will put a stop to it.

[Margo]

IWLTS oh, do fuck off. You are no longer relevant to my life. I’m disappointed and disgusted at both of you.

Except I can’t, I’ve promised to stay out of it. But, as far as I’m concerned I no longer have a brother or a niece.

[Little My]

What did they do? (Don't feel you have to answer that though.)

[Margo]

Oh, I don’t mind sharing… brief story… my brother and I have been estranged for about 20 years, since Kittengate and his bitch partner threatening to rip my head off etc for daring to offer to look after their cats and kittens whilst they went away. Instead they left the poor things home alone for a week

Anyway, moving on… mum practically brought their daughter up so they could continue to work. Never an easy or likeable child, spoilt rotten and highly opinionated, never wrong etc. she’s now 22.

2 years ago Mum gave bro £££ to buy a house, as they’d been renting for years. She saw it before they moved in, but has not been invited there since. It’s about 4 miles from where Mum lives. Bro hasn’t been in touch for months; during this time Mum’s had a few ongoing health things which bro knows about but not once has he contacted her to ask how she is. Or if she needs anything etc.

She sent him an email last week to tell him how disappointed she is with him, and all the reasons why. It was a fab email, factual, non emotional, and ended by saying she wants no more contact from him. Also that because she hasn’t seen or heard from daughter since she was just leaving school - so years - she wants no more contact with her either. Mum’s always given her £££ for birthdays and Cmas and hasn’t ever got a thank you.

It’s been hurting Mum for months, with the hurt turning to anger. So the email was sent.

Then - the next morning - she got an sms from daughter saying she doesn’t want her as a grandmother and calling her a rascist!!!!!

Honestly, the horrible little bitch. How dare she talk to my Mum like that!

So - I no longer have a brother or a horrible spoilt little niece. And Mum is happy to have got it off her chest, drastic though it was.

No word from bro. The spineless git.

[rosy]

Your poor mum, Margo.

[Marth]

I would like to say "Go and do another job"
To the male breast cancer specialist esp but also to the male radiographer.
I felt 5 times as shit as I already felt this morning having to be examined by them both. Probably ten times as shit.
Fuck off and please let us have properly female centred intimate care.

[Margo]

Thanks, Rosy. She’s fine though, and feels so much better now she’s said her piece.

I haven’t had proper contact with bro for years, and have never liked my niece, so it makes no difference to me. It was cathartic to have a little rant though!

[Marth]

Margo, that sounds terrible. I understand how your mum got to that point.

[emma_p]

I 100% agree Marth. I had a horrible experience with a male breast cancer specialist when was in my 20s and it was just so unnecessary.

I’m glad your mum has made peace with it, Margo. They sound so entitled.

[sally maclennane]

Oh Marth, I hope you're OK

[Disco]

Hope you're ok Marth! I agree too. I had an internal scan on Thursday and was horrified to see patients before me being called by a big burly bloke who looked like Dwight from The Walking Dead. Thankfully it was two lovely women I was seen by but I was already feeling distressed about it and seeing this big gruff bloke freaked me out more.

[rosy]

I hope you are ok, Marth.

[Little My]

What absolute users, Margo.

Marth, I 100% agree. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[Marth]

Hope you're ok Marth! I agree too. I had an internal scan on Thursday and was horrified to see patients before me being called by a big burly bloke who looked like Dwight from The Walking Dead. Thankfully it was two lovely women I was seen by but I was already feeling distressed about it and seeing this big gruff bloke freaked me out more.

It really does my head in. Like Emma, I had some horrible experiences years ago and I just really hate these male doctors specialising in gynae and breast care, with the women nurses in attendance.
At least now they always have a female chaperone. That never used to be the case. But having to have one just speaks volumes! (I know women healthcare professionals always ask if one is wanted, but I truly never see the need)
I've never been sexually harassed or abused by a female health professional, or any woman actually, but have been plenty of times by men (including a GP).

It went ok, could have been better and definitely could have been worse. They want to check something they saw today so need to get my records from London and then possibly call me back for a biopsy.

It's 2016 all over again (going in for one thing and then them finding something else) At least my dad hasn't just died days before this time. :)

I hope you are ok.

[Lily]

Your poor mum Margo - your brother should be ashamed of himself and his vile child. I am glad that your mum has said her piece though.

Marth If only I could hug you in person. Fingers crossed that there's nothing dodgy in there. Is it possible to request a female specialist next time? I don't know how it works; it's never occurred to me that a man would be doing these things to be honest.

IWLTS if your mum wakes up and is frightened by the sight of a strange man in her house (he was a carer she wasn't expecting) the first thing you say is "How scary for you, let's sort that out so you know who's coming next time" not "Would you have been so frightened had he been a white man?" I get where you're coming from, but a bit of empathy wouldn't have gone amiss.