House/home buying - how did you KNOW it was the one?

[Epponnee Rae]

Another thread from me seeking turtle wisdom. I am trying to buy my first home - finally - and have graduated from just obsessively looking at Rightmove to having viewed a few places. But I am trying to buy in London and despite the eye-watering prices, anything decent in the areas I am looking in is off the market within days of viewings.

Having looked at a clutch of places this weekend, and with a couple more lined up next weekend, I am worried about being locked into a never-ending cycle of looking/viewing/rejecting places because I will never get something that is perfect with my budget. I am particularly torn about a place I saw that is affordable, 10 minutes from a zone 3 tube station, and has an amazing garden (somewhat overlooked by a tower block…), but is small, one bedroom. I know that I will be downsizing from the overall size of places I got used to living in in the States, but this one probably would not fit all my stuff. It’s in good condition, wouldn’t need to do any work to live there, but to make it perfect (you can’t actually see the lovely garden from inside the flat) it would eventually need an extension. It does have a decent garden room/studio for an office/extra space. I am debating whether or not to make an offer.

There is a PERFECT looking, 20% bigger, place I am due to see next weekend. It has the extra bedroom and the garden room, and has a lovely kitchen/dining extension. But it is 30% more expensive (better connected, amenities), so absolute top of my budget, and I would be competing against two-income couples and small families that could probably offer more than asking. It’s the ideal of what I wanted, and I am 99% sure I’d never get it. So do I accept that, take a chance on the smaller place, get moved & settled, and then save up for an extension in a year or two.

I am trying to stay calm and level headed about all this, telling myself that the right thing will come along eventually. But I tend towards indecisive and up to now, buying property has been the realm of fantasy and daydreams for me, so I don’t know what way to lean with rational thinking vs. intuition/gut reaction. I don’t really have the luxury of waiting much longer, as I want to move by summer…!

So, compromises. What did you decide to compromise on when buying a home? Location? Space? Did you push your budget to get absolutely everything? How do you weigh up what’s worth sacrificing and what your Must Haves are? Halp!

[sally maclennane]

For me, it's always been location. I once heard someone say "buy the worst house in the best street, rather than the best house in the worst street". It's always been something that sticks in my mind. I think particularly since I was buying alone, and would be living there alone. Feeling safe, with good public transport were important to me.

My house was definitely a compromise, it was very dated and needed a LOT done to it. I've been here for 10 years this summer, and in this time, I've decorated every room, and had an extension built, including a new kitchen. It's been hard at times but I now have it pretty much how I want it. I also really appreciate stuff like it being near a train station, and having good sized rooms.

It's difficult, especially when you're doing it on your own. It feels like all the decisions sit on your shoulders and there isn't someone to share the load with. The upside is the security of owning, especially as a woman, that is a great feeling!

Of the two properties you mention, can an offer on the first place wait till you've seen the second? Or will you lose out on it if you don't offer now?

[Epponnee Rae]

Thank you, sal. See? Wise. I like that ‘worst house on the best street’ thing. Though I don’t quite know where this place falls on that spectrum I’m glad you have the home you want now, but it’s good to hear about people taking a compromise and making it work. I suppose it might be naïve to hope for the perfect place on my first go

Location wise, the smaller flat (Edwardian conversion) fits my minimum brief, just. It’s not my ideal area, but is walking distance to an acceptable tube station. It’s in an ok-ish area, largely residential. It definitely used to be rougher a couple of decades ago. Though it does back onto a tower block estate so I should look into that re: safety.

So I’d be compromising a bit on location (which won’t change) and lot on space (which could change with time+money), for near-term affordability.

I do think the smaller place is likely to have offers soon. On the plus side I think I was in the first round of viewings and have told the agent I am considering an offer. Which is true! But I doubt it’ll last til the weekend. I’ll have to see what they say tomorrow.

[Kenickie]

Depending on what your budget is, stamp duty can add a lot, plus the cost of moving, and building work is really expensive and can be difficult to get hold of people at the moment. So I'd be tempted to go to the top of your budget as then it's less likely you'll want to move again and don't have the hassle of renovating.

Last house, I went for location, and got a house that needed loads of work (central heating installation, floors, decoration throughout, bathroom). We were in rented though so could do it all (bar the kitchen) before we moved in.

This house, I compromised a bit on location. Ideally I would like to be nearer the centre. But I didn't want to compromise on space or parking, and the central houses don't really have either (maybe the odd place might have both, but those are rare and very expensive eg 2 million). I went for more expensive to be within adult walking distance of the centre, good public transport, plus playground/shops/cafe/pub/takeaway etc within a very short walk, but still have the space I wanted and I'm so pleased I didn't go for something smaller.

When this one came up, we'd been through loads of houses we liked and losing out at offer stage, and everything was being snapped up straightaway, do I get how stressful it is, but I'm really glad we didn't compromise too much.

[Kenickie]

It depends though, if top of your budget is the most you can afford comfortably, or if it means no holidays/eating out etc at all.

[Kenickie]

I also think you can only really understand what compromises you're happy with once you see a few places, and you see properly what the compromises on space/type of property/location etc are actually like. So I'd see as much as you can for a few weeks.

Also I guess I've compromised on the type of house for my last two houses. My one before that was a beautiful Edwardian house that has great kerb appeal. But the ones round here are small and really expensive, so I've just decided that I don't really care that much what the outside of my house looks like.

[sally maclennane]

Thank you, sal. See? Wise. I like that ‘worst house on the best street’ thing. Though I don’t quite know where this place falls on that spectrum I’m glad you have the home you want now, but it’s good to hear about people taking a compromise and making it work. I suppose it might be naïve to hope for the perfect place on my first go

To be honest, I don't think many people get perfect on any go - unless you've got a very good budget, there's always a compromise with any purchase. When you watch Location x3, there's often someone saying "if this (ticks every box) house was just 10 minutes up the road" and you can see Kirstie gritting her teeth and saying "yes but if it was, it would be out of budget for you". This house was my 3rd purchase, and each of those was a compromise in some way.


I agree with Ken about the cost if you need to move again, and aldo working out what top of your budget means to you.

[Kenickie]

And I agree with Sal about nowhere being perfect! Honestly, a few times, for fun, I was like 'what if my budget was actually £2 million or just no to limit on Rightmove' and those houses still weren't in the exact right location/weren't an ideal layout etc.

[Rebel Pebble]

I also agree with Sal about nowhere ever being perfect, especially on a first buy.

Our first flat was a massive compromise (top floor, lovely size, purpose built and 30s period character but no garden and on a main road). I lasted just over 3 years there. Not having our own garden was a huge mistake in retrospect, but budget-wise it didn't feel like we had a choice at the time. The house after that should have been a longer term place, despite disliking the open plan layout downstairs, then the neighbours happened so it was 3.5 years there too.

This place was the one we really fell in love with and it didn't feel like we compromised on. I suppose the compromise was moving out of London to the home counties but that gave us the buying power to find what we wanted and then cling on and fight for it. Been here nearly 17 years now.

How tolerant are you of building work and builders? I've realised over time how much I hate it, from even small projects like having a wall built in the garden or the parquet floors done. That would make me lean towards the one I didn't have to extend in a couple of years because I know I'd keep putting it off. Also finding builders in the SE can be a waiting game, plus the spiralling costs of materials etc. I wouldn't be crazy about being overlooked by a tower block but I'd be more interested in immediate neighbours if these are conversion flats and you've got people above you - worth doing an out-of-hours recce or asking about them.

Are they each leasehold, or share of freehold?

I'd probably push myself for the bigger flat and fight for it but that doesn't mean it's the right or realistic option for you.

[bramblerose]

There is absolutely nothing stopping you putting an offer in on the smaller property and going to see the other and putting an offer in on that as well. We don't have the same rules as Scotland so it's not legally binding. And you can rescind both offers if you don't feel either of the properties are "right" for you.

One other thing is that you will need a contingency fund. As we found out last year, not everything is as it seems and what you look at, get surveyed on and what you get when the place is empty and you have the keys in your hand may not be the same which can be heartbreaking and soul destroying :gloom: So that might have an effect on what the top of your budget is.

[Epponnee Rae]

Thanks brambs, Rebs and ken also for replies. This is all really helpful perspective. Good point about making offers to keep myself in the running, bramble! I hadn’t really thought about that!

AFAIK the flat I’m thinking about offering on is leasehold >900 years. There is an upstairs flat, a family I think, also leasehold. The freeholder is presumed deceased

I also appreciate the point about ticking all the boxes vs location Getting a 120ft garden in zone 3 seems highly unlikely anywhere else. And the garden studio is ideal.

Good points about budget. For the smaller flat, with a lower deposit I’d have some savings left over for a contingency (or build costs). The bigger more expensive one would obviously take a chunk out of that (and would leave me tighter each month….), but wouldn’t need any building work. Or at least all the work that could be done on that place has been done, so no more value adding opportunity, just market appreciation (or depreciation).

I really don’t know how tolerant I am of builders TBH. I’ve never been somewhere that’s happened in a material way while I’ve lived there Part of me has watched enough property shows to be naïvely optimistic about somewhere I could extend and improve/modernize though.

[emma_p]

I would definitely want to go back to the flat with the upstairs neighbours when they're home / different times of the day in to check out how the sound travels downstairs. There is nothing worse than noisy upstairs neighbours

[Duophonic]

Yes to all of these, especially going at different times of the day to see if the neighbours are overly noisy and having some wiggle room cashwise if you need to do any repairs as most ime are not picked up via the home report/survey. There's also nothing worse than being at your top end and having no quality of life.

I always prioritised living in a top-floor flat so I didn't have anyone above me.

[Epponnee Rae]

I definitely know re: upstairs neighbours and noise, given that my last experience of this forced me to move back in Seattle That was a good move ultimately though. If I go for a second viewing I’d probably try to do it on a weekday/evening. It’s quite easy to just ask the neighbours to be quiet during viewings though, isn’t it? So you may not know until it’s too late! But I’mess likely to get a garden with an upstairs flat (not impossible), so that’s one of the tradeoffs to think about.

[Epponnee Rae]

I definitely know re: upstairs neighbours and noise, given that my last experience of this forced me to move back in Seattle That was a good move ultimately though. If I go for a second viewing I’d probably try to do it on a weekday/evening. It’s quite easy to just ask the neighbours to be quiet during viewings though, isn’t it? So you may not know until it’s too late! But I’mess likely to get a garden with an upstairs flat (not impossible), so that’s one of the tradeoffs to think about.

[sally maclennane]

The noisiest neighbours I ever had were in the flat below me. I think a flat is always going to carry some risk of noise.

[Rebel Pebble]

I always prioritised living in a top-floor flat so I didn't have anyone above me.

This was the other reason why we ended up with no outside space in our first buy. Garden flats in our budget were almost all ground floor conversions. And top floor flats with balconies were thin on the ground (it was the early 2000s, well before the recent proliferation of new build flats with balconies) and wayyy out of our price range.

But, yes, also any flat or in fact property adjoining anyone else in any way is ultimately going to have noise risk. All you can do is minimise that risk. Ironically we had no noise problems from neighbours in the 30s flat (the road was another matter). It was a solid, concrete build and only heavy physical impact noise like building work seemed to travel, while the terraced brick built house we moved to eventually became a fucking nightmare.

[FiveO'Clock]

Noise above bothers me more than from any other direction so I'd have to check it at different times.

I love locationx3 despite living in the US. I absolutely adore British homes and am really excited for you!

I've purchased three homes and each time, they were my "dream home" for my budget. The first one turned out to be a nightmare money pit. The second was lovely and I was very happy there, but due to some development in the neighborhood coming up, it was a good time to leave. My second house was turn-key and I was comparing it to another house which was less money but needed many projects and it turned out the cost of doing the projects equaled the difference I was saving in purchase price.

I discussed all of this with the help of my parents, because they know a great deal about the local housing market and even more about home reno. Don't feel you shouldn't ask for advise, it's a very big decision!

[Chicky]

I would also prioritise freehold over leasehold if you can. My sister has had an absolute nightmare with her leaseholder (demands for money for building work that hasn’t been carried out, and refusing to sign documentation which means that her flat is essentially unsellable at the moment and she’s had to have a higher rate mortgage because he won’t sign the documentation to take me off the lease).

I would visit at different times of the day as others have said, and ask around. Most places have local Facebook groups so worth nosing around them to give you an idea of what the places are like.

[Derek Nimmo]

I'm sure you know this, but just in case - you'll never find a truly freehold flat in England as they don't exist. Share of freehold, with self management and a "lease" of 900+ years is the best you'll get.

I've always trusted my gut on previous purchases, and hadn't gone far wrong until this place where I had a covid-induced fixation on getting some outside space and was truly seduced by the garden (which, admittedly, is lovely) but I kind of ignored the house itself and the suburban location. It was only after I moved in that I remembered I hate the suburbs

So I'd say think long and hard about your lifestyle and what's important to you, and make sure your priorities are in order.