Sarah Everard

[Loralei]

I am so angry too. I really am.

Anyway, Laura, I read your post out to son and his dad today when they celebrated mother's day with me and I read it through tears because, well we all live it and feel it, don't we and they [heard you (us), they felt and saw my tears and they know now how to celebrate women every day not just IWD or MD.

ETA not that we need celebrating. Just please don't put us down or mistreat us.

[Lily]

his twin remarked out of the blue about why was Sarah Everard breaking lockdown

Why was her murderer breaking lockdown?!

I feel v disappointed by one of my friends; he's a bit weird but generally good-hearted, but he's done a post about when he as a man doesn't feel safe in the middle of a pub fight and how we should unite not divide, showing 'statistics of violence' and that most violence is M-M. A woman responded very clinically & calmly. I was a little more emotional, basically telling him how many things I haven't reported (and I am lucky) but I felt really let down. A few men have got in touch via PM which was reassuring, surprisingly the older ones.

A friend who lives 100m from where Sarah Everard was taken spent a week looking down alleys, over walls, etc.; their garden was searched. She's very unhappy about the vigil turning into a protest as she felt it was hijacked and I must say I agree. The woman interviewed says that she came to pay respects, but those holding 'ACAB' signs didn't and Sisters Uncut themselves said they were having a protest while joining the vigil.

[Loralei]

I had a nice encounter earlier. I was walking home (midday-ish) with headphones on and was aware of someone behind me. I did that half-turn thing which confirmed there was a bloke matching my pace but not much else, so I told myself to get a grip and make eye contact. There was an older man just behind me and when I looked round he raised his hand and said hi, he was sorry if he'd freaked me out and he hadn't been sure if speeding up would make it worse, but he was heading for the bakery up ahead. He told me he was horrified by what he'd been reading and had asked his female friends and his daughter, all of whom had stories that shocked him. He said, "I knew, but I didn't know, you know?" We had quite a nice chat and when we parted ways he said he was sorry; I said he didn't need to apologise and he said, "No, I'm sorry. I'm sad that women have to live with this."

Anyway. It's just one person but it gave me a bit of hope, especially as he was from the older generation.

[lazzbo]

One person is better than none. He sounds lovely.

[Edith Bacon]

I had a nice encounter earlier. I was walking home (midday-ish) with headphones on and was aware of someone behind me. I did that half-turn thing which confirmed there was a bloke matching my pace but not much else, so I told myself to get a grip and make eye contact. There was an older man just behind me and when I looked round he raised his hand and said hi, he was sorry if he'd freaked me out and he hadn't been sure if speeding up would make it worse, but he was heading for the bakery up ahead. He told me he was horrified by what he'd been reading and had asked his female friends and his daughter, all of whom had stories that shocked him. He said, "I knew, but I didn't know, you know?" We had quite a nice chat and when we parted ways he said he was sorry; I said he didn't need to apologise and he said, "No, I'm sorry. I'm sad that women have to live with this."

Anyway. It's just one person but it gave me a bit of hope, especially as he was from the older generation.

That’s made me a bit teary. Actual hope, right there

[Ella77]

That is genuinely so nice.

[Luce]

Oh my goodness. Wow.

[F'Artiste]

his twin remarked out of the blue about why was Sarah Everard breaking lockdown

Why was her murderer breaking lockdown?!

I was hissing this furiously at A and willing him to say that. I was FURIOUS.

Lora, that is so so lovely. Such a small gesture, but it means so much. And it shows that with some willing, some things could get better.

[Heebie Jeebie]

That's so lovely Lora.

[Loralei]

I didn't put it on FB as I didn't think anyone would believe me It is a bit convenient after my rant yesterday but I promise I'm not making it up. It was a nice antidote to social media.

[Kenickie]

That is really lovely.

[Ruby]

Oh that is nice

[Morganna]

It is nice.

I am currently engaging in a FB conversation with a man on one of the less vile local pages. I don't know him, so don't know how old he is (not that I see that as particularly relevant), but he is genuinely trying to understand how to help, and how not to be part of the problem.

Some of the comments before I joined in were of a fairly predictable local FB nature, and the tide may have turned by this time tomorrow, but on the whole the thread is measured and quite reassuring. This man in particular seems very genuine, although I suspect he thinks he is talking to another man - my name is unisex and I don't usually use a profile photo of myself . I'm not sure if it would matter if he realised, but he keeps calling me 'mate', which is a bit unusual.

[Ella77]

I bet you’re right .

[Beena]

I've been avoiding this thread as my head isn't in a place where I can deal with it right now.

However, I've just filled in the government consultation on VAWG, which feels very much like an exercise in getting the answers you want to hear, but anyway. There's a list at the end of around 20 support agencies. Some have specific remits - prostitution, forced marriage, BAME, LGBT, childhood abuse. Some are generic. 2 actually focus on women and girls. 6 are for male victims/survivors. That's one third of recommendations listed for a survey about VAWG. It shouldn't be about the men.

I like the blurb about Respect best -

"Respect is a domestic abuse organisation which runs a confidential helpline for men and women who are harming their partners and families, as well as a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them."

So men and women who are the perpetrators - and men who are the victims. Grand choice there.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Dominic Raab went down the “speaking as a father” route this morning. Idiot.

[Lily]

Sisters Uncut included names of trans paedophiles and rapists in their "list of women who have died at the hands of police institutions" (i.e. in jail). Plus a woman who died of cancer while in jail. Something is going very badly wrong here.

I'm glad you had such a nice encounter with that chap Lora. It does go to show men are listening.

[Pippedydeadeye]

My sister is very much in the “abolish the police” camp, which made for an interesting/awkward exchange with my dad.

[rosy]

I noticed that on the VAWG survey, Beena.

I’m a smouldering ball of rage today about many things, so I’m staying mostly away from Twitter and Facebook.

[Red]

Sisters Uncut included names of trans paedophiles and rapists in their "list of women who have died at the hands of police institutions" (i.e. in jail). Plus a woman who died of cancer while in jail. Something is going very badly wrong here.

I don't understand this at all. Do they genuinely believe rapists are women if they simply say they are or identify as one?
What is their aim/end goal?

Its very depressing when other women are so actively working against us.