KIT day WWYD?

[Kenickie]

Brace yourselves for a massive essay!

A while back I agreed to do a KIT day at the end of the month, because there's a planning/strategy away day type thing, as my manager has started to manage some other people in my department with slightly different roles so it's based around understanding what each other so, if we can work together more in the future, if we might change the way we do things etc. I feel like it would be really good to be there to have some input into any decisions that are made etc. Plus it will just be really nice to think about my job again, have a day where I'm using my brain and focusing on different things etc.

However, when I was initially asked about it, I didn't really know how feeding would be going so I wasn't sure I'd still be breastfeeding at this stage. I'm currently expressing and freezing so they'll have milk, which isn't too much of an issue, but as I have a long commute and the day is going to be 10-4 plus drinks afterwards I'm going to have to also express during the day so I don't end up in pain/leaking everywhere. I feel a bit awkward about asking for breaks to do this plus the meeting is on campus, but in a different building from the only place I can imagine that I could express in (the occupational health room which is also available for pregnant women to rest in). It will take about five- ten mins each way to get between the buildings, plus time to set myself up and do the expressing (maybe about fifteen mins each time) and then if I want to save the milk I think I'd have to use the fridge in my office kitchen, which is in yet another building. I think I could possibly get away with only doing it twice maybe, but it still seems quite a hassle.

The longest I've been away from them so far is about three hours when I went to a hen do, and P was also out nearby so just messaged me when they were getting hungry and I went and fed them. This will end up being over ten hours even if I skip the drinks. We're trying them out with bottles - the first few times they were both fine, then we had one time that both refused completely, and at the weekend P fed them while I was upstairs and Topsy was fine but there was quite a bit of crying with Tim and he didn't have much. So I'm a bit worried about how they will get on - I'm sure they will take a bottle /cup/syringe or whatever if they get really hungry but obviously I don't want them to have to get really upset, especially as if they there's no quick way to bring them to me (if they pick the wrong time when the trains are infrequent during the day it could take a good couple of hours). P could come into London with me, but then it'll be difficult for him to entertain them etc on his own when out and about.

So I guess what I'm asking is, did anyone do KIT days when their baby was still quite little (mine will be not quite five months at the end of the month)? I can't tell whether I'm being totally ridiculous as obviously loads of people might be back in full time work at this point. Or alternatively, is it silly to do a KIT day this early on? I guess a lot of the feeding stuff will be much easier when they're on solids and feeding a lot less so I don't know if I should just wait until they're older. So I want to do it, but I just don't know if logistically it's all too much of a headache. Any thoughts?

Oh, and unless things change ( ie if P gets made redundant) I won't be back until October if that makes a difference - so not sure if the planning etc might change before then anyway.

[Luce]

My initial thoughts are that if you WANT to do a KIT day, then get practicing with bottles more rather than just hoping if they're hungry enough then they'll take the bottles - not often the case, I don't think. You'll feel much better being away from them for so long if you're confident they'll feed properly.

However, if you don't actually want to do it then I'd have no qualms in cancelling it and not bothering.

[Kenickie]

Thanks, we're practising once a week at the moment - it's hard to do more with expressed milk as I'm also having to build up enough for the day for both of them. I'd always thought I'd mix feed but now it feels like offering them formula will mean they'll be even less likely to take it as it'd taste different, and having got so far I feel like I don't want to give it to them just for the sake of doing this day.

I definitely want to do it, it's just I wish it was closer so I'd know that P could pop them in the car and be with me in half an hour or something if he needed to. I just can't work out if it's worth the stress or if I just need to get over myself and stop over thinking.

[purple_dress]

Yes, what Lucy said. KIT days are for you, so you should only do it if you want to when you weigh up all the factors. I didn't do any until about 9 months and I basically used them to ease myself back into the mindset in the run up to returning to work.

[purple_dress]

Could you do half a day and P come into town too? If he could find a friend to meet or something to do nearby then you'd know they were close if he needed you?

It's so much easier once they are weaning and can be distracted with food!

[Pippedydeadeye]

I did when Squeak was three months and it was a pain. She screamed and refused to take a bottle at all all day. So that’s not helpful!

I also spent a day in London when she was about 5 months and taking bottles, and I expressed all over (mostly in loos) and kept the milk in a cool bag for the day. She’s still alive now almost 12 years on, so I assume that milk was fine.

[Kenickie]

That's a good suggestion, PD. I don't think he'd be able to find anyone who wasn't working though and I think the journey in would be difficult alone.

Are you glad you did those days, looking back, Pip? I mean, obviously not are you glad she screamed all day!

[F'Artiste]

I don’t have much in the way of suggestion in terms of age - A2 was 10 months when I had a KIT day, and it took me a solid month of expressing enough milk (freezing it) for him. And he refused to drink it anyway as he never took a bottle. In fact, even when I went back to work when he turned one, he refused most liquids for the first week.

In terms of the KIT day being worth it for you - it’s hard to say. My KIT day (training) was utterly useless in preparing me for work, but really needed for just having a bit of adult contact/feeling that I hadn’t been forgotten about.

[Dandelion]

Can you get a manual pump, Ken, and express quickly in the toilets or something? I know it’s not ideal, but as a short term solution it could work.

I would also get practising with the bottles. Can you store up a few more feeds by replacing breastfeeds with expressing & bottle feeding a little more often?

I went to India with work when S was 10 weeks and also had a KIT day a month from when he was tiny. More for me than anyone else - but he was bottle feeding by then, so not really so much of an issue. I was back at work part time by six months. I think five months is a good age to start looking at life outside of the maternity leave bubble.

I can’t believe they are that old, mind! They will be weaning before you know it!

[Kenickie]

Yeah, I think the adult contact and feeling part of things is what I've been missing.

I've come to a good solution - P will come in with me and we'll stay the night as it's a Friday, which means that he'll have a base to return to, they'll be close by if they need me, and then we can have a nice Friday evening and Saturday together.

Going to investigate nice, baby friendly restaurants for Saturday now!

ETA: cross posted with you, Dandelion, I'm impressed at your India trip although I think I'd have been very motivated to make that work. ;) I'm glad to hear that your early kit days went well.

I don't think I can do more than one expressing session a day as I don't want to build up my supply too much as I had issues with engorgement etc early on. But going in together means there's a lot less pressure now!

[Dandelion]

I am glad you have found a solution! It will make your day more enjoyable, as well, knowing the babies aren’t stressed out.

[wendy james]

I'm glad you've got it sorted and can make a nice trip out of it.

I'd used all my KIT days by the time each of mine were six months, but I can't remember how soon I started - probably after 6-8 weeks?

I started expressing once a day to build up a small stash for evenings out/KIT days/overnights with grandma. Expressing in their absence then replenished the stash. Obviously, that's easier to do when I was only feeding and stashing for one! One thing I did find was that it was quicker to express earlier in the day than once they went to bed. It didn't affect my supply as I did it daily for a while then dropped it, like dropping a feed. Also, I was always going to express once I went back at six months, so it was helpful to get used to things.

Sproglette never got on with bottles (sippy cups were the answer, eventually!) but Elvis was a bit better, so you might find they both get used to bottles, one does or neither does!

Oh, and I dragged Sproglette and P around the South West because that worked better than dealing with a 3 day work trip when I was still breastfeeding her (I think she was maybe still under one). I didn't take them to Scotland on a work trip so had to pump and dump, which I only really remember because I managed to spill the milk in one of Shoe's drawers.

Enjoy your night away.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Sounds like you’ve come to a good solution.

In hindsight I wouldn’t have bothered with the KIT days with Squeak until she was older but I had a day similar to yours planned. I only did one with Chunk, getting paid was too difficult.

[Kenickie]

Spilling milk in Shoe's drawers sounds a bit rude.

I hadn't thought about expressing in the morning, for some reason, so I'll try that. I only get enough for a feed for one baby usually from each session so it would have taken me a while to build up enough to feel confident about leaving them alone for so long (I was planning to have a whole day's worth of feeds for them both just in case) but the pressure'sv off now. I'm going to carry on doing it semi regularly though so it's easier in future to have time away. The next time I'd go into work they'll definitelybe over six months so I can try sippy cups as well and they can be distracted with food.

I hope getting paid is a smooth process, but I have very little faith in my HR department!

[TracyA]

That just brought back memories for me. No KIT days for me and only 6 months maternity leave back in my day , but I still breastfed at night for some time after I went back to work. I recall an overnight team meeting where I woke up with very painful leaking boobs . I don’t think I’d considered I might need a pump when I was only feeding at night .

You sound like you’ve got a good plan .

[Kenickie]

So obviously the one day I need to go in is going to be a bit of a nightmare because of train disruption. I wouldn't bother but obviously I decided not to pay extra for a cancelable hotel room so if I don't go I won't get paid and will lose the hotel money.

I can't decide whether to still go, accept the inconvenient and longer journeys, but I can still mostly have my nice evening on Friday night and day out on Saturday, and I also have a good excuse for coming late to the away day, or just to sack it off?

[Kenickie]

Thanks. I guess I should also say that I've been unable to shift my cold so currently feel quite rough, which is veering me towards not going. I might wake up feeling much better tomorrow though so it's hard to tell.

[Skips]

I would sack it off. The extra hassle added onto the travel while you are ill and dealing with both babies (even if P is there with you) sounds too much like hard work to me.

[Kenickie]

I think you're right. I'm actually just feeling worse as the day goes on rather than better so I'm not sure if I'd actually enjoy the time away.

I'm so annoyed!

[Kenickie]

I've cancelled, and feel a bit relieved to be honest. I'm not sure if e get anything out of it feeling like this anyway. So frustrating though!