Secondary Considerations

[Flora Poste]

That sounds like a good outcome, especially as the school is now fully aware. A very similar thing has happened to my friend's son - in Y6 and then with a different group of kids in Y7. Older brothers trying to be all street also got involved and some of the things said were absolutely awful.

Poor G - how is he feeling now?

[Squirrel]

That’s a simple question with a complicated answer .

He wasn’t outwardly particularly upset at the time, it was me who was reeling. I told him that I was going to ask the boys mums to tell them to stop sending nasty messages and he was okay with that. The less-horrible boy wants to send him an apology so I told him he might get a message saying sorry, and he just said “thanks”. So I think on some level he was uncomfortable and knew it had crossed a line, and he’s glad it’s been resolved.

But that guesswork really as he’s sometimes like this - poker face until he’s not, and then I get a call from school saying he’s thrown a chair across the room and he’s now up a tree and won’t come down .

One of the things that was useful about the conversation with the y7 head today, was that I was able to explain that he’s a champion at masking, initially appears articulate and capable and doesn’t present as obviously autistic or vulnerable. But he has low social skills, is naive and emotionally immature, doesn’t understand banter or teasing, is annoyed and unsettled very easily, can’t cope with change or uncertainty, has fluctuating sensory needs, and so on and so on. All of which is completely invisible when you meet him.

So how is he feeling? I don’t know and you probably didn’t want all that waffle but I started so I finished, and thank you for asking .

[Estrella]

Squizz, I’ve felt for you so hard reading this. It sounds like the best possible outcome and I’m glad the school is being supportive. G and my J sound so very similar, so I hugely empathise.

[emma_p]

That is such a good response from the school! I was worried they might not respond during the holidays but it's brilliant that the head of year called.

[Marth]

I'm so glad the head of year was supportive and you were able to explain G's needs. It sounded like they were terrible messages. No wonder you were reeling.

[Squirrel]

Thanks everyone. I’m on such an emotional rollercoaster. The relief was immense yesterday but then I keep remembering the horrible language; why don’t you commit suicide, I hope you get kidnapped and choked to death, graphic threats and descriptions of violence and the stream of insults, it all comes back to me and I feel sick again.

[Marth]

Thanks everyone. I’m on such an emotional rollercoaster. The relief was immense yesterday but then I keep remembering the horrible language; why don’t you commit suicide, I hope you get kidnapped and choked to death, graphic threats and descriptions of violence and the stream of insults, it all comes back to me and I feel sick again.

Oh Lord. What terrible things to say. Poor G, and you all. I really hope these boys realise their appalling behaviour.

[Rosa]

So awful. I think you've handled it very well, and it's great that you had such a prompt response from the school. I hope it now stops. Poor G (and you).

[Squirrel]

I can’t believe it came from an 11 year old child, I do feel a bit better knowing that at least some of it was copied from the teenager and he’s not sitting at home thinking this stuff up for himself. G’s responses were things like “why should I please you?” and “k bye” with a a waving emoji and the worst thing he said in response was “ur dumb”. It broke my heart.

[Lily]

Reading that actually made my eyes tear up. Poor,poor G - but he actually responded really well. WELL DONE to you for handling it so well, too. I'm pleased everyone has been so sensible about it and that you've got support. I've been thinking of you and G a lot x

[Lily]

Reading that actually made my eyes tear up. Poor,poor G - but he actually responded really well. WELL DONE to you for handling it so well, too. I'm pleased everyone has been so sensible about it and that you've got support. I've been thinking of you and G a lot x

[Glint]

Oh squiz, it's great that the school seem to be proactive at nipping this nonsense in the bud, and that you had a chat about G's needs.

I hope this is the end of it all.

[Luce]

Great outcome!

[wendy james]

Poor G. Excellent adulting though squiz. I hope that’s the last of it.

[Ruby]

I can’t believe it came from an 11 year old child, I do feel a bit better knowing that at least some of it was copied from the teenager and he’s not sitting at home thinking this stuff up for himself. G’s responses were things like “why should I please you?” and “k bye” with a a waving emoji and the worst thing he said in response was “ur dumb”. It broke my heart.

You handled it perfectly. I will say, and this is in no way minimising it, that some of this appalling abuse is relatively 'standard'. Kids at that age regularly tell each other to kill themselves and it is shocking to read but they don't really understand the impact of what they're saying. They also call each other paedophiles, which is similarly horrific to adult ears. Schools deal with this sort of thing every single day. Probably multiple times. It's pretty awful.

[Squirrel]

Yes, I’ve heard that. It is absolutely shocking.

[Kleio]

Yesterday the older two rang me from school to say they weren’t allowed to leave. The bell hadn’t gone when it should. The door was closed (but not locked as they have no facility) and the teachers were telling them they weren’t allowed in the corridor.

They heard lots of people running about and a number of police vans were in the car park with an ambulance.

I got a text from school informing me they’d be late home.

My Y11 niece said there had been a fight between two people in her year (A&B). Yesterday A was sent home early as there had been threats that B would sort him out or someone from his family would.

Apparently, B’s dad managed to get into the school (unsure how as it’s all key codes) with a knife to ‘sort out A’

I thought it was probably blown out of proportion but I got this email today.

[Disco]

What the hell? How awful, kleio. Nut job!

[Kleio]

It was unofficially confirmed today that the admin staff locked him in reception so he couldn’t leave but also couldn’t access the school then left the office. I just can’t imagine why you’d think that was a good idea.

[Little My]

How are all the new starts going? Settling in well, I hope.

We are just about to get going on high school applications. I am feeling overwhelmed that R needs to choose her first year classes during the application process for both schools. I hope it's easier to navigate in practice than it seems.