Secondary Considerations

[Little My]

:lol: Yes, I love a bit of gossip, but I try to act nonchalant about it. And try not to appear too shocked by anything. :))

R tells me quite a bit, but definitely not everything. Sometimes I hear about things weeks or months after they happened. Generally she's sensible though, so far. My worry tends to be when she has a new friend I'm not sure about, but her core group seem to be a good bunch.

[Smunder Woman]

Joe tells me stuff sometimes, but generally the boring shit and not the actual interesting stuff. He did ditch a load of his friends a few weeks ago because they were in a group chat objectifying the girls, so that was an interesting conversation. It was quite reassuring seeing he has very strong feelings about this kind of bullshit. Obviously I don't know what other shit he condones though :))

The house he's going to is at the other side of the city, so I'm going to order an Uber to get him home. He's not massively impressed by this but none of his friends live this way, so it's that or don't go.

[Ruby]

Both the SAM and N have dumped friends because they're misogynist or treated women like shit. It's very heartening.

There is almost certainly vaping and weed.

Yes, I agree. The SAM is completely guileless and so has told me that he's tried weed but it made him cough too much. :)) I'm pretty sure N has tried it because his girlfriend uses it for her 'anxiety' but he doesn't smell of it and weed nowadays :granny: stinks so I'm pretty sure he's not caning it. I haven't seen any vaping stuff around. I don't particularly care about it tbh but obvs I pretend I do.

I did a thread about booze a while back. I buy (bought - the SAM is an adult now) a couple of tins of dark fruits style shit for parties as an attempt to keep them away from the vodka. It doesn't work. :))

[Smunder Woman]

I've given Joe a beer or two a few times at home, and would probably send him with a few if he asked for it. It doesn't seem to be as much of a thing here though, alcohol is so tightly regulated. We'll see tomorrow :))

[Luce]

I'm always so curious about where they get alcohol from and its always Teddy's big brothe so its good to see that the methods for obtaining booze has not changed! Fe will also be fucking stupid enough to come home with obvious hickies (vom) but he's at least finally learnt to be embarrassed about that being tacky and gross etc.

I honestly hate this bit of parenting; I was always so convinced this would be easier than toddlers but I'm considerably way more shit at being a parent than I hoped I would be :))

[Smunder Woman]

I have no idea how to parent teenagers :)) It's a lot of fun, but teenage boys going places is terrifying. Obviously, a lot less terrifying here than where we used to live, but still. It will cost me a fortune in Ubers to save my own sanity (we don't have a car).

He's just told me that they're going to this particular house because they have a proper cinema. The plan is to start the evening with Oppenheimer on the cinema screen, so it's probably a far tamer party than I initially thought

[Disco]

:lol: What are swede teens like?

What are the alcohol licensing laws like there? Are cigarettes legal? Cannabis?

I could google but we're chattin' shit, innit.

[Smunder Woman]

They seem a lot more wholesome than I'm used to :)) He's at an international school, so his friends are from all over the place.

Alcohol laws are really strict. You can drink in a pub at 18, but can't buy it in the shops until 20. All alcohol (except beer under 3%) is only sold in government-run off-licenses that close at 6pm on weekdays, 3pm on Saturdays, and don't open on Sundays. There's always an impressive queue on Fridays and just before holidays :)) Cigarettes are 18, and cannabis is very frowned upon. I've actually just realised I don't think I've seen many young people smoking or vaping, they all use snus instead. It's little parcels of tobacco that you hold under your lip

[Disco]

Thank you! That's all very interesting.

Ew yuk, I know those tiny teabags full of snuff.

[Smunder Woman]

They're really grim. The Swede used them for years but gave up a few months ago, which I'm very happy about. He's currently reminiscing about the really good pot he used to get, since I asked him about teenagers smoking weed here :))

[ParisGal]

Urgh, that snus is really bad for you :(

ETA I definitely typed and read my post as snus not "snugs" but some autocorrect annoyance must have happened :mad:

[Little My]

Eww, snugs sound disgusting. It is interesting to hear how other cultures deal with this sort of stuff.

I did a thread about booze a while back. I buy (bought - the SAM is an adult now) a couple of tins of dark fruits style shit for parties as an attempt to keep them away from the vodka. It doesn't work. :))

Dammit! :)) I thought it was a good plan.

[Glint]

I did a thread about booze a while back. I buy (bought - the SAM is an adult now) a couple of tins of dark fruits style shit for parties as an attempt to keep them away from the vodka. It doesn't work. :))

Dammit! :)) I thought it was a good plan.

Surely it would act as a mixer to the vodka, or was that just my lot? :))

[Little My]

Oh god! :lol:

[Kleio]

Betty had her first face to face appointment with the neurodiversity team today (2 years after sending in the paperwork). They've split the diagnosis teams so she's been put on the Autism pathway but they said they'll probably send information over to the ADHD team too.

I now have to wait 28 months before I get the next appointment through and her diagnosis will take at least 32 months with an ADHD additional diagnosis taking another 12+ months after that.

[Dutchie]

Good grief, what frustratingly long waiting lists! Why does it all take so long? Overworked, underfunded NHS?

[Little My]

Anyone else feel burnout from their teens venting? I think this time of year is particularly filled with stress and a lot going on in general.

I do try to stay as removed as possible, but still, information overload and so much tea spilling. And you have to remember 450 different names and pronouns.

[Topcat]

450 names and pronouns. :lol:

We seem to mostly be through that stage and out of the other side although the list of goings on was long, and it wasn't that long ago either.

Hormones seem to be settled, she appears to not give a single flying fuck about her mocks unless it can be worked to her advantage, she is no longer seeing the girl that pretended to be a boy, friend fights are just low level bickering for now and her nemesis has been kicked out of the school.

Soz, probs not what you wanted to hear. :lol: I do feel your pain though.

[Luce]

Alan, that matches my experience too. Year 8/9 was fucking awful, it felt like Hollyoaks and some really horrible shit happened that I’ve not put here.

But I’d say it definitely turned a corner about 6 months/a year ago and I see glimpses of the old F but a bit older and cooler.

My problem with him at the mo is that he’s constantly wishing his life away (“I’m 17 next year, I’m going to need driving lessons”) and also could not give a shit about exams but it is nice to have him be more human-like.

[Topcat]

Mine wants a motorbike as soon as she's 17, and to go to the frontline via national service.

She's mental. :lol:

She is only just approaching 15 though, so there is time for this to change. But she has definitely come out the other side of some really shit behaviour and attitude issues which is lovely. We're back to chatting (for now at least) instead of constant complaints, arguing and obnoxiousness.

It can still be there, obvs but it isn't 24/7.

Hang on in there LM!