Buns in the oven

[Tits McGee]

Some of those were real worries to me, some were “just” practical ones but she made me see they all mattered if they mattered to me.

That is a good way of thinking about it!

What a gorgeous photo.

[Kenickie]

That is a good way of putting it. I found it quite useful to hear about others' choices, mainly to see if there were things that I hadn't considered, but the only thing that's important is what you think might be the best/least worst option.

That's such a lovely photo! She looks like she's very seriously working out the baby's position. Maybe a Lora of the future. ;)

[Loralei]

Yes, I was pushing for hours (at least 3, maybe more) with L and I have wondered if that’s partly what caused my prolapse. I’ve also spent the last 8 years avoiding putting any pressure on my pelvic floor (no running, jumping or lifting anything heavy, bracing when I cough or sneeze, taking a daily laxative to avoid any straining ) and it’s just become really deeply ingrained. I had an examination recently because I was feeling a lot of pressure and was worried the prolapse was worse, and the doctor asked me to push as if I was pushing a baby out and I ended up bursting into tears after a few attempts.

Don't roll your eyes at yourself; that sounds really difficult. Have you spoken to anyone about L's birth? 3 hours is a very long time to be pushing and, between that and the prolapse, it's completely understandable that doing it again feels frightening. I don't think for a minute you will "make a mess" of pushing, but your concerns about it affecting you mentally/emotionally are valid. FWIW (not a lot) it seems to be accepted rhetoric amongst midwives that 2nd births are usually the most straightforward, moreso than subsequent ones even, and that can be healing after a difficult first birth, but obviously there are no guarantees. You can change your mind at any point, also, but it would be easier to cancel a planned section and decide to go for a vaginal delivery than the other way round.

If you decide to go for a section, I suggest you tell the consultant you are concerned about the potential impact of a vaginal delivery on your mental health, as well as your pelvic floor. We have to be very protective of perinatal mental health, so he should take this seriously. Don't be afraid to over-egg It shouldn't be necessary, so don't feel bad doing it if it is.

I'm usually on here banging on about how sections aren't the easy option they are sometimes portrayed to be, but while recovery can often be an issue, there is a lot to be said for the difficult bit being calmly managed. There are downsides to all pain relief in labour in a way there aren't postnatally.

I've realised as I'm writing this that you probably won't see it before your appointment, but I hope all went well.

[Loralei]

I’ve taken hardly any bump pictures this time as I just feel humongous in general, but this one is a favourite

She's clearly a pro. "Left occipital anterior, one fifth engaged, good fetal movement."

[Tits McGee]

Thanks Lora, my appointment went really well thanks. I didn’t see your message beforehand, but I saw a lovely midwife and registrar who said pretty much exactly what you did and made me feel so much more relaxed about everything. They left me feeling much more positive about my body’s ability to cope with another birth, and have given me some information about caesareans if I decide I want to go down that route. I’ve been booked in for a section, on the basis that I don’t have to decide now and it can always be cancelled in future. The slightly intimidating consultant was on holiday, and I’m quite glad of that because the appointment was nothing like what I was expecting. Oh, and the scan went well and the baby is growing nicely.

[Kenickie]

That's so great Tits, I'm glad you saw helpful people and the baby is growing well.

[Leap]

Fantastic, Tits, what a difference from your worries yesterday! You must feel so relieved all round.

I’ve taken hardly any bump pictures this time as I just feel humongous in general, but this one is a favourite

She's clearly a pro. "Left occipital anterior, one fifth engaged, good fetal movement."

I have no idea why because I haven’t had a single emotional moment this pregnancy so far, but this made me well up

[Loralei]

Thanks Lora, my appointment went really well thanks. I didn’t see your message beforehand, but I saw a lovely midwife and registrar who said pretty much exactly what you did and made me feel so much more relaxed about everything. They left me feeling much more positive about my body’s ability to cope with another birth, and have given me some information about caesareans if I decide I want to go down that route. I’ve been booked in for a section, on the basis that I don’t have to decide now and it can always be cancelled in future. The slightly intimidating consultant was on holiday, and I’m quite glad of that because the appointment was nothing like what I was expecting. Oh, and the scan went well and the baby is growing nicely.

That's brilliant, Tits. I'm so glad you saw supportive people. And great news that the scan was all good; even when there's no reason to worry, it's always a relief, isn't it?

Fantastic, Tits, what a difference from your worries yesterday! You must feel so relieved all round.

I’ve taken hardly any bump pictures this time as I just feel humongous in general, but this one is a favourite

She's clearly a pro. "Left occipital anterior, one fifth engaged, good fetal movement."

I have no idea why because I haven’t had a single emotional moment this pregnancy so far, but this made me well up

(I expect it's another realisation of how awesome your daughter is.)

[happyhighlandcoo]

Hello! Sorry for being AWOL. As guessed, my little Coolet/Calf is here! Baby boy (surprise) born on Monday morning, one day before his due date on the summer solstice 21.6.21 which is a cool birthday, a nice healthy 7lbs 2oz (he was on the 90th percentile from tummy measurements so I expected him to be bigger).

Labour started on Saturday morning (39&4) with irregular contractions then stopped so we had a lovely day - went out for lunch and a walk in the park in the sunshine. Things then got going again on Saturday evening and continued all day Sunday which I found quite challenging. We went to the hospital 3 times (Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday evening) as my app (and anxious brain) said I was in established labour but they kept sending me home as I wasn't dilated enough and didn't appear to be having intense contractions - I think the journey to the hospital slowed me down each time. Mr Coo was amazing at helping me to try to use the hypnobirthing tools, particularly breathing, music and positive affirmations at home and whilst waiting in triage each time. I found it hard going and kept saying I didn't like it and wanted to stop The tens machine was great at first but later on just became annoying. Eventually on Sunday evening around 10pm, after being sent home to go to sleep, my waters went with a pop as I'd just got in bed (luckily I'd put a towel on the bed). Fourth time lucky at hospital I was 6cm and they let me into the birth centre where we had a lovely room with a pool, beanbags, low padded "bed", calming lights, music etc. Just one midwife who was completely hands off for most of it, just leaving Mr Coo to coach me. I got the gas and air at this point which I really loved - just enough to take the edge off whilst still being sort of present. They wouldn't let me into the pool for a bit as they didn't want to slow things down but eventually I went into the water which was lovely. I think I pushed for less than an hour and unfortunately rushed at the end as I was so ready to be done. Mr Coo said it was obvious I'd had enough and really went for it on the last push which caused quite a tear. Our baby also had his hand by his face like superman which I guess contributed. Pulling him through my legs in the water and seeing his beautiful alert face looking up at me for the first time and seeing it was a boy was incredible. Unfortunately he then went floppy and unresponsive so they quickly got a full team into the room, cut the cord and whipped him away for rescue breaths. He was back with me within 3-4 minutes but Mr Coo found this quite upsetting as our magical moment suddenly became very scary. Once he was back alert, we then had the golden hour in the birth centre room with lots of lovely skin to skin snuggles (and a good look at the placenta and sack) before I was wheeled over to the delivery ward to be stitched by a doctor as the midwife didn't feel confident to do it. This bit was pretty grim but gas and air got me through it and they brought us the magical tea and toast afterwards and then I had a nice shower. We stayed one night in hospital because of him needing the rescue breaths and it was really helpful for me to stay as I was able to get support establishing the feeding. I forgot about baby boys and wee fountains at nappy changes so got a nice little waterfall surprise in the middle of the night that first night.

He's absolutely amazing, the most chilled out and contented baby, sleeping lots and entertaining us with funny faces, wriggles and punches when he's awake. He was back to back for weeks at the end of pregnancy and it is fascinating to see his comfy positions now he's out and identify the different limbs which were constantly prodding and rippling my belly - he's always got his knees up and feet out and it is exactly as I could feel him inside. We've got feeding really well established now and he's doing well with his weight. I was pretty sore from the stitches at first but it seems to be healing OK as I'm not in pain any more and we've been able to go for a few little walks. Mr Coo has been brilliant sorting out everything re housework and we've tag teamed naps so I'm not too exhausted, just loving the newborn bubble and wanting time to slow down already!

Sorry for not replying re others, I'm not up to date at all, but hope everyone is doing OK. I'll catch up at some point.

[smalex]

Oh Coo! Congratulations! This sounds brilliant, apart from the little scary bit and the tear, but it really sounds like you've got things sorted and off to a good start. I'm so pleased for you. (And you'll find 'willy down!' Is an invaluable mantra for some years to come!).

We'd love a photo, if you wanted to post one. X

[Estrella]

Congratulations, Coo! I’m glad you’re settling into motherhood after the scary start.

Does he have a name yet?

[F'Artiste]

Congratulations coo! I’m sorry about the scary part, that must have been very upsetting, but you all sound very settled. And a summer solstice birthday is very cool!

[Loralei]

Congratulations, Coo! That sounds like a lovely birth Welcome to the world, little calf!

[Hobbes]

Congratulations to the Coo family! Much sympathy for all the stitches (I still wince now when I think about mine 22 years ago!) but sounds like things are going really well now, how lovely.

[happyhighlandcoo]

Thanks for the congratulations.

Forgot to add, he came out to Spiritualised, Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space, which was such a beautiful track to be born to

https://youtu.be/-UGbOqadHb0

I might put his name and a wee photo in Members later. Feel a bit funny putting it out there in General. We've decided not to put him on social media to respect his privacy.

[Kenickie]

Congratulations!

[rosy]

Congratulations!

[Leap]

Congratulations! I’m glad you’re all doing well.

[lorri_b]

Congratulations Coo. I'm sorry to hear about the tearing and traumatic few moments he was whisked away. You sound like you're doing brilliantly though. Enjoy the newborn bubble.

[Dandelion]

Congratulations, Coo! It sounds like a positive birth all in all, I am glad everything turned out well afterwards as well.