Juvenile Jibber Jabber

[Texaco Shirley]

The boys were playing a charades app in the back of the car. A was trying to guess Marie Antoinette.

Me: French queen, had her head chopped off

A: Errrmm...

Me: “Let them eat cake”

A: Victoria Sponge!!!

[Zoomer]

Tchah! Everyone knows Victoria Sponge was the queen of England.

“Mammy, I’m going to take out your eyes and eat them!” Tiny Psychopath.

[Squirrel]

Victoria sponge .

I love it when they go all tiny psychopath .

C talks to herself quite a bit (no idea where she gets that from ) and today she took a sip of her water then I heard her say “just keeping myself hydrated!” It was so sweet.

[Kleio]

Elf has started telling jokes all the time but now he’s making up his own.

What do you call a bum attached to some eggs? Butteggs

What do you call a human crossed with a birth? a Humird.

[wendy james]

Elvis was looking for a song on iTunes and was asking how to spell Amita. We were asking if she meant Anita but couldn’t think what on earth she’d be after. No, she kept shouting at us whilst we tried to work out what the fuck she was looking for.

Then, having been the one who drove her back from Devon and listened to the same as her, it dawned on me and I asked if she was after Maneater by Hall & Oates.

[Smunder Woman]

Joe has a beach party in school today. They were supposed to wear uniform and change into party clothes at lunch but it got changed. He was dressed and ready to go and asked to see the message from the school because "I'm a bit spectacle"

[Cerise]

Aw!

[wendy james]

Smal’s post elsewhere reminded me of this one.

At the donkey sanctuary the other week, a penny dropped for Sproglette and she declared “oh! Eeyore is a donkey!” P and I then informed her that Piglet is a pig, Rabbit is a rabbit, etc. until her eyes rolled out of her head.

[Smunder Woman]

[olive]

Yesterday I took the boys on the bus and M was reading the signs for priority seating and announced that he couldn’t sit down as he wasn’t disabled or a pregnant lady!

I felt bad for him as everyone started laughing and he was embarrassed but it was so cute.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Bless him.

[Jet]

Aw, M

Sorry FBers who have seen this -

We were in bed ~6:30am on Friday and L asked, as he does every morning, if it was the weekend. I said no, it was Friday and S said -

“One more day and then we’ll smash our faces right into the weekend!!”

Then we were at reading class reading a book about a mother bear who ends up making various clothing items for her child bear. After the story the teacher asked various questions including something like how do you think mother bear feels about little bear (I assume leaning towards she loves him, cares about him etc and that’s why she did all that for him) and the girl who had her hand up and was called on to answer said -

“She is tired”

[ParisGal]

What an empathetic little girl!

[Jet]

Can I smell your brain?

[Cerise]

Can you at least buy me dinner first?

[Squirrel]

I don't know, can you?

[wendy james]

Sproglette has been on form this weekend.

I called back to P to remember to put the (cooked) JPs on the coals and she said “I don’t know why you bother, he’ll only forget like he always forgets the kale*”.

Then when he was asking them if they wanted to go to the on-site clubhouse for ‘family fun and games’, she said something like “do you even know us?! We go to <local club> and sit on the sides”.

*I’m forever appearing at dinner asking if the kale is in the oven, and it isn’t.

[Jet]

Can you at least buy me dinner first?

He meant breath but got the wrong word your question is still valid though.

[wendy james]

Whilst talking to the girls about not leaving each other if they were allowed to the park without me, Sproglette genuinely asked "but if she's dead, am I allowed to leave her and come tell you?".

[wendy james]

“You know that song about walking five hundred mile? I don’t think that’s true. It would take like ten days or something.”

My lovely literal 5 year old.