Juvenile Jibber Jabber

[F'Artiste]

God, V and A2 love Cocomelon. The little characters are so annoying.

We’ve been trying to harass V to play in the garden this afternoon as she hasn’t gone out in two days . After looking pleased and saying that she wanted to go out, she followed up with “Next week, ok mummy? We’ll go out next week.”

I’m raising a sloth.

[Zoomer]

Hah, I feel your pain, F'Arty. We have to prise A off the couch here too. Although it's better since she got her birthday bike as she likes that much more than just going for a walk.

Yesterday, I was praising her cycling, "You're doing really well, darling, I'm very proud of you."
"I'm very proud of you too, Mammy." Shucks.

[smalex]

W is turning into a lockdown snitch. We went for a walk around yesterday and passed a house with some people outside. I didn't even really noticed it apart from vaguely realising some people were talking, but W had a good gander and then said fairly loudly IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THOSE PEOPLE ARE ISOLATING TOGETHER AND THEY WEREN'T 2M APART little snooper

[Zoomer]

It's nice that you've bred your own stasi, smal.

A was wondering why Murphy doesn't use the litter tray like Nala. "Well, Murphy does her pipi outside in the forest, you see." "Like Daddy?"
Yes, like Daddy.

[smalex]

Like Daddy

[smalex]

I just got W to go and find a birthday card for our neighbour in the stash of cards upstairs, which he did, then he suggested the wording should be 'hope you have a lovely birthday at this awful time'

[Cerise]

[wendy james]

Like Daddy and 'at this awful time' are brill.

[Kenickie]

[Kleio]

Betty: oh look! There’s police walking by our house on the path on the field

Cube: Where?

Betty: There! Look! They must be getting some fresh air.

Cube: someone needs to tell them they are too close to each other. Social distancing even when at work people.

[Starry]

I let H and E paint the other day and (predictably) it went everywhere. It was even on his toes. He held one foot up to me and said “look at my rainbow twinkle nails!”

We are also in the process of potty training, and he proudly announces he’s “done a stinky oil” every time he has a wee. I blame Blaze.

[Zoomer]

"I don't want to practice reading, I want to practice being a Mummy!"

I may have to lower my expectations for her future.

[Froozy]

Quick, introduce her to mental load. She'll soon change her mind.

Sam: making chopping actions at my neck 'now I can carry your head round and cuddle it all day'

[wendy james]

I like that you think that’s sweet.

[Zoomer]

Quick, introduce her to mental load. She'll soon change her mind.

Sam: making chopping actions at my neck 'now I can carry your head round and cuddle it all day'

I have been muttering darkly about how she'll soon change her mind.

Cute little sociopath!

[Froozy]

I like that you think that’s sweet.

That was more his attitude than mine. Though I would get away from the incessant ‘mummy, can I tell you something?’

[olive]

Quick, introduce her to mental load. She'll soon change her mind.

Sam: making chopping actions at my neck 'now I can carry your head round and cuddle it all day'

like a tiny Norman Bates.

[smalex]

Not a funny one, but- there's news stuff this morning about the economy shrinking by 25%. W was asking questions so we were trying to explain the economy Us: 'So when Dad's work pay him, the government take some of the money and then that goes towards paying for schools and the police and hospitals.... but if 25% less people have a job then the government has 25% less money to spend on those things, but we still need schools and the police and hospitals, so it's a bit of a problem'
W: 'Well, why don't we just get Billionaires to give us some of their money?'

WELL. GOOD QUESTION NINE YEAR OLD CHILD. GOOD QUESTION.

I then tried to explain about political influence but he glazed over and asked why we didn't all move to Mars

[Zoomer]

W: 'Well, why don't we just get Billionaires to give us some of their money?'

WELL. GOOD QUESTION NINE YEAR OLD CHILD. GOOD QUESTION.

Because the Billionaires need it to support their hard-working staff? OH WAIT, NO, THAT'S ALSO US PAYING FOR THAT.

W for president!

[Zoomer]

I was singing "Shoo, Fly" earlier and A joined in by singing "Shoo, Mother, don't bother me!" When did she become a teenager?