Secondary Considerations

[Smunder Woman]

I remember really struggling in school because I was a 6 foot tall 12 year old and incredibly shy. I had no self esteem or confidence and basically wanted to hide. I actually remember overhearing an aunt of my mum's saying "you forget she's just a very tall child." It's a difficult stage. As you all know

Jack should be in high school this year but won't be starting until next year. Im posting here as hes high school age but will go back to the primsry thread if preferred:)) I think he's ready for it, and he'll be going to an excellent SEN school (I decided he's better being one of the most able there than one of the least able in a massive high school with a reputation for being rough) but I can't even think about it too much. I'm torn between wanting to protect him and letting him grow up.

He's struggled with school all along but has a fantastic teacher this year so we've not had one bit of bother since August (touch wood). Look at this photo from his residential trip last week . I feel for the teacher as that was the last night and Jack smelled like death when he got home.

[Ruby]

Jack & Sharky.

I worked with an SEN school last year and was surprised by how many of the students would have been 'fine' at a mainstream school. Given the choice, I would always go to the SEN school as you could transfer to mainstream later if you felt he needed it.

[Luce]

Oh God, I want to squeeze your children. And bury my head in the sand. I wish you all lots of luck!

[Smunder Woman]

That's what I thought, Ruby. The school he'd be going to otherwise has been ranked 2nd worst in Scotland at one point and a teacher has been stabbed there, so there wasn't much of a decision to be made

[Squirrel]

This is all very interesting (and a bit terrifying) to read.

What a lovely photo Smunder.

It's interesting to hear your thoughts on SEN schools. My friend's son has ASD, more severely than Jack by the sounds of it, and I think my friend needs to hear this kind of thing. It's all going round in her head and she gets very tied up in knots over it. He's at a local primary at the moment and the school have indicated that they think he'd be better off moving to an SEN school at some point. She's had a lot of heartache already and I hope she finds a solution that works for them all. It was your point about wantsing to protect him whilst also letting him grow up that really struck a chord.

[Smunder Woman]

Definitely SEN. Jack's able for mainstream work but can't cope with the noise and crowds. He'd be in bits in mainstream. Having seen the difference in him, i am very much an advocate of SEN every time where it's likely to help. I didn't find the decision too hard, as I'm very logical when thinking about these things (but panic over everything else), but i can totally see how it'd be a difficult call. Actually, I think I was mostly so desperate for help when the possibility of SEN came along that I jumped at it

[Hazey_Jane]

I went with H to view a local secondary school last week. She was very overwhelmed by it all but liked it. The only problem is that it's a girl's school which she really doesn't want.

The local mixed school has a very bad reputation although I have spoken to a few people lately whose children go there and they've had nothing but praise for it.

The single sex one- is that the one where years 7-9 wear light and dark blue kilts? If so that's my old school. I left 21 years ago and I absolutely loved it. As far as I can tell it's only getting better since then in terms of activities and facilities.

And is the other one the T.A?

[Ismee]

The first one, no, they alll wear dark blue skirts and blazers and light blue shirts....

The second one, yes!

[Smunder Woman]

Right. Shaving. I think it'll be a while yet, but there's definite top lip fuzz. Electric razor and hope for the best?

[Pootle]

I don't know A has a little 'tache and I can't even imagine a wet shave so electric seems best. Not quite there yet but it won't be long I reckon. It's mental, as are all the spots starting to appear

[Marth]

Wet shave. There are loads of nice gels around, and at most it will be 3 swipes of a razor once a week.

I taught SB1 to shave, (because his dad is a c*nt). and it was really easy. I also put some gel on mine and his arm and let him shave it to show it doesn't hurt.

[Pootle]

A is autistic and dyspraxic so I don't really trust him with a razor. He's sensitive to touch but also to noise and not keen on clippers so we may just have to go with a beard.

[Ismee]

We've been to see a Secondary school today.

It's a local Academy, is under subscribed and has a reputation as being a very rough school.

A new Head joined a year ago and the exam results went up by 25% in one year. He has made lots of changes and the school seems to be really on the up. His speech was so impressive and the teachers we met on the way round were fantastic.
The pupils were brilliant and seemed more genuine then the usual 'boffins' they usually roll out.

It was quite chaotic because a lot more people turned up than they expected.

Hardly any parents from H's school will even look at it and two that I did see (one of them is a massive snob) said 'uugh, no. It's not for my girls. So unorganised'

Hannah loved it!

It's such a hard decision to make.

[Ruby]

Oh honestly. 25% is quite a jump. I wonder how they did that - it's not such a massive jump that they must have been 'gaming' the results.

[Ismee]

They joined something called United Learning which apparently made a big difference.

Are you rolling your eyes at the snobbery?

Do you think the new Head is a total arse and the teachers all hate him? I didn't get that impression at all but maybe they were all acting?

[Ruby]

Yes. My eyerolling was at the snobbery.

I don't know, to be honest, it's really hard to get a feel for a school from just results. I don't think it's a given that everyone hates the Head and, in my experience, you can usually tell quite easily. I'd trust your gut. I think it's really positive that the students seemed to have something about them.

United Learning are an academy chain (or multi-academy trust, which teachers usually hate) but they don't seem to be the worst by a long stretch. They run some schools in Manc, relatively successfully.

[Marth]

Sb2’s school is United Learning. It was also the school that parents didn’t want to send their kids to, being seen as the estate school. Honestly some middle class parents are such wankers. Sb2 really wanted to go and on the whole is going really well. They seem to have a lot of things going on and seem fairly engaged with the parents.

[Ismee]

Thanks for the info ruby and it's good to know SB2 is happy, Marth.

The primary school I work in is known as the estate school too and people are very snobby about it. Since working here I see how fantastic the children are and the teachers are so dedicated. There are behavioural problems and some of the children come from really troubled families but it's such a diverse community and there's a great atmosphere.

H woke up still full of enthusiasm about last night.

[Texaco Shirley]

I've just submitted L's secondary application. I'm sure he's not old enough.

[Ruby]

I was out with friends tonight who were doing the same. There's not really a choice around here - we're a small town and there's one high school - but my friends have about 5 to choose from and they're crapping themselves.