Secondary Considerations

[Squirrel]

I was thinking being asked to stop directly by me might have more impact than going just via the mum? I wish I had an instruction manual for this.

At the moment I want to go and firebomb their house but I bet you’ll tell me not to do that either .

[Glint]

Oh, I'd definitely want to go and stick a rocket up their arses

Hypothetically I'm just thinking that I would be angry if another parent directly contacted my S, and would much prefer knowing what he's been up to and dealing with it together.

Internet matters might have some useful information.

[Squirrel]

Thanks I’ll have a look.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Poor G. I’m so sorry. This is awful.

I think parent to parent is the better way after notifying the school.

[Squirrel]

Thank you both. I’ve had a bit of a chat with him and ideally I want his agreement to me contacting them. What I don’t want is to frighten him off so he hides things from us. He doesn’t tell us anything and it’s a fluke that I managed to find this out.

The other children in the group chat were supporting G and the owner of the chat took the horrible two boys off.

I can’t believe that the things I’ve read have come from an 11 year old child, it’s really vile.

[Kleio]

When Cube first started secondary a girl in his form sent loads of kids messages telling them to kill themselves. He didn’t know her and he was just one of many chosen at random.

The school were really brilliant but I think if I had known her parents I would have contacted them directly too.

[Squirrel]

I’ve sent the screenshots to the head of year and SENCO with an email explaining. We already asked that he is kept separate from these boys and they are in different tutor groups. It’s absolutely disgusting, I’m beyond horrified.

[Luce]

We went directly to the parents when F had this. My ex best friend did it differently and she went directly to the kid - I’m not sure I agree with that approach, personally.

Is he in year 6 per chance? Year 6 was fucking awful for WhatsApp bullying, I remember it consumed a lot of our conversations. It all went away as they matured a bit, thank god. The things they said were so vile, so much worse than anything I’ve seen the year 8/9s say. It really is like a monkey driving a car.

[Squirrel]

Yes, finished year 6, starting year 7 secondary next month.

[Luce]

Yeah, bang on when we had it too. Lockdown isolation really made that so horrible too - it was the absolute last thing that F needed.

One of those boys is now nearly 14 and I know he’s completely mortified about some of the “cringe” things he said or so F reports to me anyway. I think at that age they’ve technically got the language skills but none of the maturity to realise the gravity of what they’re actually saying.

[Lily]

Fuck me, that's appalling. Poor G. I want to scrag the bully's neck - although I'm glad to read that other kids were supportive of G.

I think at that age they’ve technically got the language skills but none of the maturity to realise the gravity of what they’re actually saying.

Notaparent but I really agree with this, particularly having read Devil's Children by Loretta Loach which is about children who kill and how their brains simply aren't developed to understand impacts on others and consequences of their actions. Not that that makes it any better for G.

[Marth]

Poor G! That sounds awful. It was year 6 when sb2 got badly bullied and horribly ostracized by his "friends" and he was so desperate to still be their friends despite all this.

It was very upsetting and resulted in him being referred to cahms because he tried to self harm. .
Luckily he went to a different secondary school and had a clean slate and much better time .

[olive]

At the moment I want to go and firebomb their house but I bet you’ll tell me not to do that either .

I would 100% support any fire bombing.

That’s really really hideous and I’m so sorry. My friend’s son had similar and her husband directly messaged the child in question (both families were good friends) and it resulted in a nuclear fallout and it became about the adult messaging a child rather than the issue at hand.

I hope the Head and Senco are able to help you navigate this. How horrible.

[emma_p]

Oh how awful for you and George. I'm so glad you saw these messages!

I'm wondering if the school has a behaviour policy on its website? G's school is a strict academy and both parents and kids had to read and sign one before starting the school and it set out very clearly how school handle situations like this.

[Squirrel]

We have had to sign a behaviour agreement but I’m not sure if the school will consider the children to be current pupils as they haven’t started yet. I’ve emailed them the screen shots anyway, so they know what goes on. We’ve had so many issues with these boys over the years (and not just G) but this is the first time I’ve had hard evidence to show what is happening, as they’re very good at operating under the radar normally. I couldn’t sleep at all last night, I’m so shocked, it’s really very personal, targeted, malicious content.

[Princess Morripov]

Oh Squirrel, that’s so horrible. I hope the school are responsive, they are only a few weeks off being pupils so would be good for them to step in and keep an eye.

[Squirrel]

I’ve got a very good news update.

The Y7 head called me, she is very unflappable and reasonable and we had a good discussion. We’ve also got an EHCP application in progress for G so we had a side chat about that which was an unexpected bonus.

This afternoon I messaged both parents and they’ve both been brilliant, the mother of the horrible boy called me to apologise saying she is horrified and will speak to her son. It turns out he had taken some of the vile language that he used from another older boy, who is the brother of a classmate. The brother has behavioural issues and had been sending out malicious messages on x box!

The other mum who is sort of a friend so it’s a lot more awks, basically said similar things. I said great to both, that’s all I wanted to hear and I’m happy to leave it there.

I am SO RELIEVED and I might even sleep tonight. Being a grown up is horrible and I want to get off the bus.

[Pippedydeadeye]

That’s a really good outcome, Squig. Excellent parenting 11/10. You deserve a big gin & G a hug.

[Squirrel]

Thank you. My boss was also amazing today, she’s like the mum everyone would want to have, and has three grown up children and used to be a teacher. So I ran everything past her which was a huge help. More so than talking to my husband who is lovely and agrees with everything I say, but I know it’s only because he has no better ideas .

[Little My]

Your boss sounds very useful!

I'm glad it has, fingers crossed, been sorted out. What a stressful situation.