Secondary Considerations

[Cerise]

Nice work!

[Squirrel]

That’s excellent.

[Little My]

I just booked R's booster vaccine at the local high school, so she could have a sneaky peak around.

It is actually a handy location and time, so a golden opportunity really. Also, she was not super keen to get the booster, but now she's delighted.

[Cerise]

At what age did you start leaving your children alone in the evenings to go out?

D has just turned 11 and J is 13. Last night, Mr Sax and I were out at different events (mine only up the road from home). I was going to be out 7:30-9:30 so I arranged from the daughter Nextdoor to come and sit with the boys. Mr Sax thinks it probably wasn’t necessary but I’m not so sure. D goes to bed at 8:30 and J is a little nervous after dark. I do leave them home alone in the day (together or individually) if I’m not going far.

It’s the first time in two years that I’ve used a babysitter!

[Pippedydeadeye]

I’ll be leaving Squeak & Chunk tonight when I go to Pilates. She’s 14, he’s 9, they’re less likely to kill each other when we’re not there & have neighbours they know & trust that they can call on.

[Kleio]

Absolutely depends on the child.

I’d happily leave Cube from about age 10. Betty would only be left if Cube was here (she’s nearly 12 now) and Elf is 9 this year and I can’t see me leaving him until he’s 15 at this rate.

[emma_p]

I wouldn't leave mine - no way. George is 12 and Liv is 7. I wouldn't want George to feel responsible if Liv had an accident or something.

[Marth]

I didn't leave mine for ages. God, I think SB1 was 16 or something and older before I let him look after Sb2. I always felt really weird about it, but I imagine they would have been fine!

[emma_p]

Maybe it's because we have bigger age gaps, Marth? I guess it might feel different if the kids were closer in age.

[Pippedydeadeye]

I have the same gap as you.

[Marth]

I don't know why I felt so weird about it.

However one night I left sb1 looking after sb2 and I came home and sb1 had gone out! And left SB2!
Sb2 was asleep in all his clothes and the blind to one of the living room windows was pulled aside where he had sat there looking out of the window waiting for me to come home.

I was so upset. I sat and waited for sb1 to come home and gave him such a bollocking that he burst into tears. (aged 17 I think)

[emma_p]

Sb2 was asleep in all his clothes and the blind to one of the living room windows was pulled aside where he had sat there looking out of the window waiting for me to come home.

OMG Marth Poor SB2.

Maybe Lex is way more mature than G, Pip. I mean he is a boy (and he is quite a young 12 if that makes sense).

[Luce]

I’d actually be more worried leaving Theo with his big brother than if he was on his own! He’s excellent, super grown up etc but they play fight so much that I’d really worry they would hurt themselves.

We leave F (14 this year) on his own all the time. I trust him with all sorts of safety stuff. We’re desperate now to be able to get him to start babysitting his brother (9 this year) because otherwise what is the point of the 5 year age gap? We’ve started letting F practice putting Theo to bed whilst we’re in the house and we might start practicing more by popping to the pub next door for an hour or go to the gym etc.

[Flora Poste]

Mr P and I have been talking about this. We actually left our three this summer when we were on holiday to pop out for an early evening pint (at the pub basically next door to the holiday cottage) and that felt very daring!

I think it so much depends on individual children and dynamics between siblings. We leave A all the time on her own, but would only leave say her and C together for a max 20 mins because I don't trust them not to have a massive argument. I'm also loathe to leave A (12) with E (7) for the same reasons as emma_p - I don't think it's really fair on A to be responsible for her. I'm happy to leave them/ various permutations to nip to the shop/ pick one of them up from a club etc though.

[Ruby]

This is one of those things that depends very much on the children involved.

I would leave mine for an evening (14 & 16) but not overnight. I started leaving them during the lockdown at this time last year, as sometimes both Partner and I had to go to work and they were out of school. I think the necessity of leaving them then probably hastened the process.

[Pippedydeadeye]

We started leaving them for an hour while we went to the gym last summer.

Squeak is definitely mature? Which helps. She picked him up from basketball club tonight after school and I got this text as I was leaving work.

[emma_p]

I think the necessity of leaving them then probably hastened the process.

Yes, school enforced Y5 and 6 walking to school on their own during lockdown and I wasn't ready for that! In retrospect it was the push I needed though because he was ready.

[Luce]

We started leaving them for an hour while we went to the gym last summer.

I think this is definitely where we’ll start, too.

[Flora Poste]

My SIL (who lives in rural Cornwall) was amazed when she came with me to pick E up and we passed C walking home on his own - it just hadn't occurred to her that he'd be walking back on his own, but I reminded her that we live 4 mins walk away and it's totally normal here!

[Pippedydeadeye]

I’m planning to let Chunk walk home on his own from school on Fridays after the June half term. Just to see how he goes with it. Then in year 6 we might see about knocking the wrap around care Mon-Thurs on the head. It will depend on our working situation though.

He’ll only have to cross two cul-de-sacs & it’s a 4 minute walk.