Lockdown (And Beyond) Hatchlings

[Loralei]

I finally let J have Fortnite at the beginning of lockdown and it's made a massive difference to his happiness and wellbeing, not because of the game but because it's how he's keeping in touch with his friends. He's got in touch with a couple of out-of-school friends, too (including Cerise's boys ) and I'm fascinated by the insight into his friendships.

TD is basically just happy to be with one of us 24/7. I need to sort some virtual chats with his friends but it's taken him a month to miss them

Bert is the one who is really struggling. She relies heavily on structure and loves school and her teacher. She misses her friends a lot, and although I'm trying to facilitate WhatsApp calls etc it can only be when she can borrow my phone. Several of her friends have their own and I am seriously considering one for her. She's having lots of meltdowns, refusing to do as she's told etc. None of my usual tactics work and I've resorted to shouting at her a few times (which does work but upsets us both). We had the GP appointment re her ASD referral by phone and he was very supportive, so hopefully that will be picked up when services re-start. She's really happy to be at home though, and has to be dragged out for walks.

Like Olive, I've kept structure for the sake of sanity, rather than education. We've been doing school work in the mornings and they have afternoons free-ish, although no consoles until 3.30 and if I'm working they've been watching documentaries, which has gone down surprisingly well. Although it's the holidays P and I still have to work so I gave them the choice between the Easter activity packs the school sent or doing their own project, so the boys spent yesterday on crosswords and Easter cards and Bert has created a brilliant PowerPoint on Harry Potter

[Squirrel]

We’re very up and down. My children are extremely challenging at the best of times and this isn’t the best of times.

Both of the children are extremely resistant to do school work, G has done almost nothing, C has done a bit. They refuse to get dressed or do anything I suggest, they have been reasonably good at entertaining themselves but are getting over tired and grouchy now, due to sleeping badly on the floor in a huge den thing in G’s room.

I have to G and the dog out every day or life wouldn’t be worth living. The dog being challenging is a whole other thread!

We’ve taken to going to the playing field at the end of lane every day after lunch (which is when they eventually get dressed) and playing football. We’re bored shitless of it but C won’t go further away by foot or bike. I feel like I might cry with frustration at this in another couple of weeks. If we could get C a new bike there’s a chance we could persuade her to go further but that’s obviously not straightforward in the current circumstances. Gaaaaah.

I had a bad day yesterday. I’m determined to be better today.

[Glint]

We are now in the holidays, and everything is more relaxed. He is spending the mornings in Pj's watching sport or playing fifa on the PS or tablet. I'm trying to encourage minecraft and fortnite for similar reasons to Lora, but he's not bothered. He also wants to be playing football in the garden, or kicking a ball in the house or just being a fidget.

While homeschooling, I kept to our normal routine of getting up at the same time and keeping learning 9-3 with PE to start with then work/ snack / work / lunch / work. I'd generally try and get the worst things out the way in the morning, so after lunch could be easier or fun things.

I set up Houseparty and he usually goes on it when some of his class mates appear. He tells us he doesn't really speak to girls at school, but that's what he does there

[Ismee]

Bert is the one who is really struggling. She relies heavily on structure and loves school and her teacher. She misses her friends a lot, and although I'm trying to facilitate WhatsApp calls etc it can only be when she can borrow my phone. Several of her friends have their own and I am seriously considering one for her. She's having lots of meltdowns, refusing to do as she's told etc. None of my usual tactics work and I've resorted to shouting at her a few times (which does work but upsets us both). We had the GP appointment re her ASD referral by phone and he was very supportive, so hopefully that will be picked up when services re-start. She's really happy to be at home though, and has to be dragged out for walks.

We got both Z and L a phone for Christmas. We originally had a plan of no phones before Year 6 as we did with H but Z and L both had a tablet each and they broke. We weighed it up and it was cheaper for them to get a phone each. They are not allowed on any social media and mostly use them to play games on apps and for Email a bit.

We relented when lockdown started and now let Z have WhatsApp and it's really made a difference as she gets to chat with friends now and do video calls.

We use the app Family Link to monitor everything they download and also to set limits on the amount of time they are using them.

[Luce]

Oh poor Bert, that does sound hard. I relate to shouting working but it being upsetting for everyone. My guilt is much, much stronger at the moment.

Quite a few in F's class who didn't have phones have now got them. I reckon a national crisis is a good enough excuse to bring it forward if you're able to. I agree that it makes a huge difference to the older ones.

[Cerise]

Does anyone else find themselves saying, “You’re lucky this is happening now. If it was when I was your age, we couldn’t have *insert some reference to technology and keeping touch with friends here*”

[Glint]

Yup, Cerise. Also, when I was your age we didn't have XYZ, there were only 3 TV channels (mind blown).

[Luce]

I actually hate my children today. I obviously don't but I need to rant. I need to get away from them. I need it like oxygen. I'm fucking drowning here. I've not been alone in so long and I'm being tortured by having the same conversations on a hellish loop. Constant, monotonous conversations about food. Indignant surprise when they can't believe my answer is the same as the last 4087 conversations we had.

I really, really don't think I can do this. T takes the lead at weekends but it isn't enough. Theo has started getting up in the night so I have to see him again then too.

[Cerise]

You can do it. There’ll be shit days but we can all get through it. Come and rant here! Can you take yourself out for a walk?

[Zoomer]

Yeah, go for a walk, Luce. I've re-started my daily run because if I didn't I was in danger of murdering my nearests and dearests.


A has not been too bad in lockdown. It helps that we can go out a lot more than people in more habited spaces can. Ok, we are slightly breaking the rules, but there's no fucker around for miles so it's not like we're endangering anyone by walking an extra 0.5km down a completely deserted road. In fact, aside from very brief (socially-distanced) encounters with the neighbour I do shopping for, she hasn't seen anyone but me and J for weeks. That's probably not great, but .
She keeps asking if we can go see Grandad, which is a bit heart-wrenching, but when I explain why we can't she's ok with it. Until the next day when she asks exactly the same thing again.

[Luce]

Unfortunately, any walk I go on, involves them. I want to be a million miles away from them. Theo won't leave me alone. Felix won't do what I tell him. I want them to just ask someone else. I start the day already at the end of my tether. I wake up tense. This is torture!

I am going on the bike at 12.30 so I'll get 45 minutes away from them. But its just not enough/sustainable. I want to be better at this, I know some people find this really easy or enjoyable and I want to be like them.

Zoomer, I'm sorry you're having to explain why she can't see Grandad, it's so horrible.

[smalex]

Oh Luce. Can't you give the boys to T for your designated exercise and go out on your own? I know it isn't enough but it's *something*.

It's like when they were babies/toddlers and every day felt like a never ending repeat of the last with no escape. I want to smash people in the face who say 'just take this time to enjoy them! *wank wank wank*' . I enjoyed him anyway! I enjoyed watching him walk into school happy and walk out happy, I enjoyed him going to play football and going to play at a friends house. I enjoyed getting him back after a day we were apart and hearing about everything he'd done in his day.

I've not even found it as hard as you yet (probably because you did a fortnight extra to me!), but I know it's all simmering in there. The fear of that horrible black feeling coming back.

[Heebie Jeebie]

It's like when they were babies/toddlers and every day felt like a never ending repeat of the last with no escape.

Except you were allowed to take them out and talk to other adults back then.

I had the hate thing just over a week ago. I didn't think I could ever feel that way but it did pass. It's so tough.

[Luce]

That's exactly it, Smal, that horrible black feeling. My maternity leave for both kids feels a million years ago and I was so pleased to be out of it and able to actually enjoy my children. And yes, I've been enjoying them already! I actually like them already! I'm just not getting anywhere close enough alone time to have the energy for them that I need.

Poor T is being run ragged with work but he's also having to prop me up all the time. It's like 2014 all over again So I'm also filled with self-loathing that I cannot cope with what is essentially an easy thing to do that many just get on with.

I'm about to sweat a lot on the bike whilst T does their lunch so that will help.

Sorry, I've de-railed everyone. It's just been one of those mornings.

[smalex]

We're all going to have times we feel like we can't manage a minute longer. Things that seem easy often aren't

[Kleio]

It’s so hard though and it’s not de-railing, if you don’t get it out then it’ll only make it worse. :statingtheobvious:

I had my meltdown the first Tuesday of lockdown. I sat in the car for 2 hours and sobbed so hard the pressure made my gum bleed. Kids weren’t listening, my mum was being hard work, I felt so much pressure to keep everyone safe, plus teach, plus entertain, plus be healthy, plus plus plus... It helped and I don’t want it to happen again. I reckon I’m due another one.

[Luce]

Sorry Kleio. My first week was similar. It was very dark. I thought I'd settled into it a bit more but seemingly not! Can you find the way to release the pressure in a different way?

[emma_p]

I don’t think escaping to sit in the car on your own is a bad idea actually. Totally in your own space for a bit. You could take drinks, snacks and just call your friends. Or watch tv on an iPad, listen to music or read, whatever. Just as long as it’s on your own and a proper break. I wish I had a car!

[Luce]

I have the car but no chance to do it. Theo seemingly needs me constantly all day and I can't risk going to the car in case he has an emergency (he can't remember how to spell home, for example) and would merrily scream the house down whilst I sat in the car oblivious. T is on Skype calls all day so we have to at least pretend to keep the noise down.

I've got a click and collect Tesco order for the end of the month and it involves a 10 minutes drive each way and I am SO EXCITED

[emma_p]

I’m totally fantasising about getting snacks and drinks and watching a film in the car like at a drive in. Bliss!!!

I’m also struggling with the constant “I’m hungry” and preparing food, snacks, cleaning up, laundry, keeping kids quiet for constant conference calls, homeschooling, entertaining, sorting our house out etc. I hit a wall yesterday and told the kids I was going to my bedroom and not to disturb me until I was ready to come out. S actually disturbed me first on a break from calls But I’d calmed down by then.