Lockdown (And Beyond) Hatchlings

[Little My]

Well that's a horrifying nightmare. There must be a lot more to it than that. (From their perspective, I mean.) Eek.

[Kleio]

Betty and B are inseparable but live in different towns so the Mum and I have met a few times as we’re often dropping them off at each other’s houses.

Betty never told me (or wasn’t aware) that B disliked her Dad so much. Contact every weekend is at the grandparents (I’ve also met the grandmother).

He was so aggressive! I really didn’t want to let them go with him but I’d have been unable to stop him.

He’s taken Betty swimming before but never again. I made it very plain this evening that she is not able to go out with B and the Dad.

Cube can’t stand B at all. She’s in his year and he says she’s very toxic, argumentative etc. It’s no wonder really.

[Little My]

I'm taking B for an ADHD assessment later today. I am feeling nervous about it. Not sure why really; I suppose it's because I worry that the doctor will decide it's not worth the diagnosis if his report cards are fine. And a certain amount of guilt that this may be well overdue, after all the disruption of online schooling.

[Edith Bacon]

I hope it leads to something positive for you and B, Little My. Surely the diagnosis should be what it is, regardless of report cards? It would be harsh to deny someone of help and treatment just because they are managing to deal with the condition without that help.

Having said that, I’ve just dropped off paperwork at the GP to kick off ADHD investigations for E and I am also feeling that worry and guilt. Fingers crossed that B and E both get whatever help they need.

[Little My]

Good luck to you and E too! We can bite our nails together.

I think my worry is related to R (long since diagnosed with ADHD) being discharged from her paediatrician when she got into art school. He said she no longer needed his help, if she was succeeding. Her struggle was much harder than his, and frankly still ongoing.

[Estrella]

I’m also in the same boat, LM and Edith, so I empathise. Waiting for a cancellation with J’s paediatrician (we have a regular appointment next month but want to see him earlier due to some stuff that’s happened). He’s already said that there’s clear attention deficit signs but it’s now impacting school (I think it was potentially the case before but the new school are so much more on the ball) so I think we need to consider the medication route.

[Little My]

Well, we're back with a prescription. Or at least one I will pick up tomorrow. I'm so hesitant to jump straight in with the medication, but it does make sense. Given the waiting and the number of hoops we had to jump through with R, I'm kind of taken aback. This was a follow-up to a phone call two weeks ago.

I'll start him on it at the weekend so we can monitor him. It's a very low dose of a stimulant that can be dissolved in OJ, if he doesn't want to swallow it. He's never swallowed a pill before, so we just decided to take the easy option.

Good luck to you too, Est. We have ourselves enough new ADHD'ers for a thread. ;)

[Jet]

I'm interested in how the meds go for him, LM.

S is 9.5 and was diagnosed when he'd just turned 7, we have never medicated so far with him. However L was just recently diagnosed (he turns 7 in 2 days) and they highly recommended medicating and I can tell school are wishing we would but I told them I won't make that decision until we can see how he is doing under the right level of support (not currently happening... we're waiting for special education assessment and then confirmation of services as while dyslexia intervention starts right away, you don't get the support for everything (ADHD, dysgraphia - both of which are causing him significant issues) quite the same unless you get special education provisions (which we did for S last year, as he was still struggling so hard with writing still at 9).

Having learned my lesson with S (school district assessment said he wasn't dyslexic and outside assessment said he firmly was, also having ADHD and a reading impairment, later confirmed by the same school district to be a processing deficiency and also in need of occupational therapy support), with L, as soon as we had the diagnosis and I knew he'd get straight into the dyslexia program, I said start proceedings for special education - especially as in my opinion, comparing same age between the two kids, L's handwriting abilities are much worse - the testing place had to disregard some tests in their final report as his handwriting was totally ineligible. They were so unbelievably sweet about him though, some parts of the report had me balling, their recommendation for medication seemed to be from the standpoint of his emotional wellbeing that all he gets is negative feedback and he is not currently capable of, in all cases, changing the outcome with the coupling of the ADHD and the other learning differences. So I do see it may be where we'll end up.

[Estrella]

We are going down the medication route after deciding not to in Nov last year. Saw the paed today and we will start him on it when he’s back at school next term. We also have an appointment with a behavioural psych as he’s not coping very well with emotional regulation just now (we’ve had a couple of incidents recently that we need help with) Parenting is really rough right now

[Cerise]

Please don’t be scared of medication. It absolutely changed my J’s life and what he achieves. It’s not addictive and doesn’t stay in their system so if it doesn’t work out, you can just stop.

[Estrella]

That’s very reassuring, Cerise, thank you. I’m really comfortable with his teacher and talking to her and getting her feedback on how he manages in class with this, I’m hoping it’s going to be a valuable tool. I’m really worried about his emotional regulation issues though which have escalated exponentially recently (along with his attention deficit). Today’s incident if it had happened in school rather than vacation care, I’m pretty sure would’ve resulted in a suspension.

[Little My]

Medication really helped R with her schoolwork, but it wasn't a magic bullet because she was behind on a lot so we had to send her to tutoring to fill in some gaps. (She also has auditory processing disorder, and visual tracking disorder.) And there are potential side effects to deal with; some you would anticipate, and some quite upsetting. So that's why I have reservations jumping straight to medication with B. It really seems par for the course though, in terms of nailing the diagnosis.

They are presenting so differently. He has the benefit that he is not behind academically, and he's a pretty positive, happy kid who has not suffered much from having ADHD. Without intervention he would likely be OK, just not meeting his potential. Although perhaps I'm not seeing the full picture.

As a parent, I am doing *a lot* of legwork in terms of keeping everyone organized and trying to make up for any deficit. Mr LM is also seeking an ADHD diagnosis.

I am having quite a hard time with R right now, and I don't know if it's mostly down to being a moody preteen or if we should also seek some therapy for her. Right now we're trying to communicate with school to see how things are there, because after a flurry of complaints and upset about accommodations being ignored she's not telling us anything anymore. I expect she is still lovely and helpful at school though; she has always saved her temper for at home.

[olive]

I really sympathise, LM. I think T and R are around the same age?T turns 12 in a few weeks and man alive the hormones are something else. Medication comedown at the end of each school night isn’t helping either and it’s hard to separate what is normal vs mediation driven. He had the mother of all meltdowns a couple of weeks ago which was the first time in a while but it was pretty awful.

T is on his 3rd (possibly 4th) medication and the current one has been great to keep him on track and manage his dyspraxia. The biggest win has been his self confidence though as that was being impacted more than anything else. His academics have improved but he’s still very homework and organisation resistant. The difference now is that he can do it, but he just can’t be arsed.

[Little My]

The difference now is that he can do it, but he just can’t be arsed.

Now that I can relate to. I'm glad the medication is helping him.

Yes, R is 12. So, so hormonal! I agree the med comedown in the evening is probably part of the problem. She also gets herself into a panic about doing homework before her focus wears off. We took a medication break over the xmas holidays, and boy was that a mistake.

[Estrella]

I have a question for those who have experience with medication for adhd - do your children only take it on school days, and have a break during holidays/weekends? We have started it and are seeing a difference in the fidgeting and he’s much more able to follow direction in his swimming lesson today too.

[Little My]

Oh that's good, Est. B just started his today.

R does not take med breaks. It sends her off kilter.

[Estrella]

I wondered about that. We are dealing with some insomnia and lack of appetite but on the whole he seems ok. We also have started with a behavioural psych who J seems to really like so that’s also good (paed suspects we have some ASD in the mix too) I feel like a terrible parent that we haven’t done anything about this until now but the old school didn’t raise any issues. His new teacher picked up on it all straight away and the impact it’s having on his learning.

I hope B goes ok with it all.

[olive]

T only takes his meds on school days. His stomach is usually a bit funny the first few days when he’s back on it after long hols but the weekend break is also fine. Homework is a bit of a pain but we do shorter more frequent bursts instead.

He does eat non stop on the weekends though.

[Cerise]

My J only has it on school days. He takes a slow release tablet normally and we have a quick release version for weekends if it’s homework heavy.

Glad you’ve seen a improvement and that J’s getting some help.

I’m at a stage with J’s now that I wonder if it’s actually doing anything much at all or is a comfort blanket. Like olive’s T, there used to be a couple of days of feeling a bit “off” after a long break and his sleep would go to shit at the start of term but it doesn’t seem to happen anymore. He completes his homework pretty well on the whole. He’s in Year 9 now and it doesn’t seem right to stop the meds and see how he gets on.

[Little My]

Not really noticing any difference with B so far. He is taking a very low dose, so it could be that it needs increased. We're on day 6. Actually, if anything he seems bouncier at home but potentially he's focussing more at school and coming home with more excess energy? So that could be good? I dunno.

His teacher has been away for a couple of days, so hasn't spent much time with him. She checked in with me last night with an email, then also asked if she could call me today about something else. This is not helping my stress levels, and of course she isn't calling until late afternoon so I won't find out the topic until then.