The Mock Turtle

I'm really chasing my tail.. This is about the end of year trip for B, which is quite expensive.

Backstory is that when R took this same trip, the fundraising was handled badly (IMO) as the teacher only facilitated one fundraiser which was really exclusionary and the uptake was poor. It was each student for themselves in terms of raising money.

This year, there is a different teacher running the trip. I was delighted when he asked for parents to help fundraise this year, and was excited to run some good events that the kids could help with, and had hoped the money raised would be split equally and make it easy for everyone to participate. So I immediately threw my name in to join the committee. However the teacher has now stated he would like the funds raised to be "more equitably distributed" to families who may not otherwise be able to afford it. But people could opt in or out, confidentially. i.e., say whether you want your cut or not.

There are two classes in his year. Nobody from the other class has volunteered to help with fundraising (they historically never volunteer for anything). Being brutally honest, I don't really want to put lots of effort into fundraising and still have to fork out the full price for the trip. I also want B to feel like he helped reduce his costs, because I think it's important for him to have that goal to work towards.

However, IF the fundraising money ONLY went to families that really, truly needed it then I would be happy with that outcome too. But for all I know, I'm the one sap who opts out of taking a cut, puts in lots of effort, and potentially most people are opting in. That's really the infuriating part, I guess.

Other things to note: Having been on school council, I'm well aware that the school has funds to significantly reduce costs for families that need it. This has not been mentioned to parents at all. The teacher also spoke to the kids directly about this, and basically gave them a guilt trip about not taking the money which seemed quite inappropriate.

I really wanted to talk to the teacher about it, but I can't see how that could possibly change anything at this point since he's already set the ball in motion, and I'd probably feel like shit afterwards. So I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve, other than decide what to do. Take a cut and work my arse off with the fundraising, or bow out of both? Or..? I'd basically feel like an arsehole either way.

It's so awkward to bring this up with any of the other parents directly, so I feel a bit lost in my own feelings.

Give it to me straight. :)) WWYD?

That was long, sorry.

What kind of fundraising and if you didn't have any kids in need, how is it supposed to be split? And what kind of a teacher talks to the kids like that?

Oofty, I think I’d bow out of helping fundraising, it feels very off that the teacher had changed the goalposts without consulting those involved in helping out.

If you don’t get a chance to speak to them, could you send an email stating that you signed up to make the trip more accessible to all pupils and that you presumed school funds/ parent council funds would be used for those in the lowest income bracket.

If you speak to the teacher about it, at least he'll know for next time that his behaviour hasn't gone down well, and if he's not a total arse he'll at least consider your point of view. Whether or not you go ahead is up to you, but I think I'd want him to know your thinking on the subject.

FWIW (nothing, obviously :))) I agree that the money should be split amongst all attendees, particularly if there are funds available to stop anyone from being excluded for financial reasons.

No! Your opinion really helps! And not just because you're agreeing. :))

That is what I would have liked to get across, Glint. At this point I'm against talking it over with him, because it's too late to change the plan he's put out there. I suspect I would feel worse talking about it when he'll be on the defensive, and I don't have a clue what the general consensus is. (It would have been nice to have one!)

Five, the fundraising is whatever the parent committee decides to do, with school approval. So nothing has even been discussed yet, let alone decided. Mind you, the non-refundable deposits are all due in a week so everyone needs to decide if they're going or not before we even know the extent of the fundraising. If no families were in need, then either the money raised would be shared equally unless we only did a bogus sell-things-for-yourself fundraiser. I dunno, maybe he wouldn't even facilitate a fundraiser if that were the case?! Who knows.

My friend is now trying to twist my arm to be on the committee because she said she would.

It seems to me the only way to do this is to have the funds split equally between all students with the other school funds picking up costs for the low income children. How are you supposed to know what other parents can afford anyway? I'd not want to be part of that committee unless they made it fair for everyone. It's also going to be less successful. If you're out there asking family and friends to buy things or donate, they're going to shell out a lot more when they think it's benefiting their grandchild, niece, nephew, etc. as well as the other kids who might not be able to afford it.

Fair for everyone is exactly what I would like. Either outright fundraise for those who need it (anonymously, of course) because I don't think the school can cover their total cost, or everyone gets an equal share. Period.

Low income families may not even opt in to attend the trip, given how close the sign-up deposit deadline is. Then what happens? (Probably no change!)

Still chasing my tail. :lol:

What's the trip?

Four day coach trip. Pretty high end activities and accommodations. (I would love to go!)