The Mock Turtle

Heebie Jeebie wrote: I don't think he had a clue.

The only thing that saves S is that he honestly doesn't seem to know he's awake sometimes, I've had full on conversations with him which he has no recolletion of the next day, he's also prone to sleep walking and sleep eating so I think he just has the sort of brain that can seem awake and normal when actually he is still pretty much asleep, although why his asleep brain feels the need to deny snoring I have no idea.

The human brain / body can be quite odd. I find with MrPG that he will not be in the slightest bit disturbed by his own loud snoring, nor by me shoving him, but if I make any noise myself it wakes him instantly. He too does the snoring when just falling asleep and claiming he wasn't asleep therefore not snoring

I roasted my idiot and buried the carcass under the paving stones for going on a holiday with the ex "for the sake of the children"

hedgehog wrote:I roasted my idiot and buried the carcass under the paving stones for going on a holiday with the ex "for the sake of the children"

Are you still together!!!

Annabella wrote:

hedgehog wrote:I roasted my idiot and buried the carcass under the paving stones for going on a holiday with the ex "for the sake of the children"

Are you still together!!!

Currently separated by a few hundred miles and the Alps but technically together yes

Bloody hell, hedgehog. He's sending all the wrong messages - to you, to the ex, and most of all to the kids.

The snoring stuff is cracking me up, particularly Mr T waking up to tell Tabs he isn't asleep.

We don't have issues with snoring so much (he does it at night sometimes but is surprisingly amenable to being violently hoofed until he turns onto his side) but GOD YES to the claims of having had 30 mins sleep, he's like the Four Yorkshiremen about it. If Stella so much as coughs a bit at 3am, say, he counts his hours of sleep from 3.30 onwards. My sympathetic face is, apparently, unconvincing. :genewilder:

Karkadan wrote:I keep having to have words with him about stacking the dishes. He rarely does it, but if there is any food left on the plates, he just stacks them as usual. So I don't discover this until I have put them into water and it is suddenly full of bits of food. He also leaves cups in the 'to be washed up pile' with water in that soaks me when I go to pick up what I think is an empty cup.

Lovely Kark, this is the point where you are supposed to fantasise about extreme violence. Come on! Tell us what you'd like to do when he does this.

I saw this and thought of you lot:

Bugles wrote:I saw this and thought of you lot:

That's very funny Snoring really is one of those things that can send you over the edge, everything is so much worse at night anyway and lying next to a snoring elephant doesn't help.

rosy wrote:Bloody hell, hedgehog. He's sending all the wrong messages - to you, to the ex, and most of all to the kids.

Sorry, I have only seen this now. It's not as bad as it seems. I was venting and in an upset mood earlier today but it's all manageable

MrD and I have exactly the same conversations as the rest of you about snoring:

Me: Stop snoring
MrD: I can't have been, I'm awake.
Pause
Gnnnnnnrrrrrrrrgggggnnnnnrrrrr
Me: Stop snoring!
MrD: I wasn't! I'm awake.
Pause
Gnnnnnnrrrrrrrrgggggnnnnnrrrrr

Repeat.

I reckon we've had that exact conversation about 20 times in 2014.

As I have mentioned before, the worst thing about snoring is that the snorer is sleeping away peacefully whilst simultaneously depriving you of the same pleasure

When MrMcLip is doing in bed, proper sleeping snoring, he sounds like he's whispering "poo...poo...poo", which in some ways is more distracting than the oinking noises he does on the sofa.

G has a bona fide diagnosed sleeping disorder, which he sometimes uses as an excuse, "But, I have a sleeping disorder," etc.

Which is fine, he does. So why does he fucking argue with me about snoring, then? We have a goddamned cpap machine in our room. You're probably fucking snoring if it isn't properly on your fucking face.

sally maclennane wrote:As I have mentioned before, the worst thing about snoring is that the snorer is sleeping away peacefully whilst simultaneously depriving you of the same pleasure

God, this :grump: .

I am not an Angry Bird by nature, but I get positively murderous when I have to listen to the evidence that he is asleep whilst I am being deprived.

I know I have posted this before, but for those who were not here when this was all fields, I once read an item in the Big Issue, when Alexai Sayle used to do that roundup of news stories from abroad. A woman was up in court for killing her husband by putting Lil-Let style tampons into his nostrils to stop him snoring. They expanded widthways and killed him. Another woman stabbed her husband, and he spoke up for her in court. Asked why he thought she had done it, he replied 'She had tried shooting me in the head, but it didn't work'. They both walked free.

Need I say more?

Korill wrote:G has a bona fide diagnosed sleeping disorder, which he sometimes uses as an excuse, "But, I have a sleeping disorder," etc.

Which is fine, he does. So why does he fucking argue with me about snoring, then? We have a goddamned cpap machine in our room. You're probably fucking snoring if it isn't properly on your fucking face.

Oh no! CPAP is waaaay noisier than snoring. I always feel so sorry for the partners of sleep apnoea patients. "We've found out that he has a medical disorder which is causing him to snore. We can help! So, instead of intermittent snoring, you'll now be sharing a bed with a machine which makes an equally loud noise, all night long." It's not all that great an offer.

What? No way. Our cpap machine is an absolute whisper, and he has severe apnea and has a really high pressure on it. It makes the quietest breathing noise, I actually find it quite lulling. There is absolutely no way a cpap machine is worse than the snoring, not breathing, twitching and shaking, and then sudden gasping of air of a person with sleep apnea.

He is forbidden to go anywhere overnight with me without it. The cpap machine actually saved our marriage, his apnea was reducing me to a shattered, hysterical wreck before we got it.

It's only the size of a toaster as well.

Absolutely, Figaro, it's a constant noise unlike the uncertainty Korill describes only too vividly and which I am very glad I no longer have to deal with. Roasting: the new consolation thread for singletons.

Last night, my partner complained that he didn't have enough quilt, so I (very kindly) let him have some.

When I made the bed this morning, I noted that the majority of the quilt was over his side, so in reality he DID have enough quilt last night

Donna Quixote wrote:

Karkadan wrote:I keep having to have words with him about stacking the dishes. He rarely does it, but if there is any food left on the plates, he just stacks them as usual. So I don't discover this until I have put them into water and it is suddenly full of bits of food. He also leaves cups in the 'to be washed up pile' with water in that soaks me when I go to pick up what I think is an empty cup.

Lovely Kark, this is the point where you are supposed to fantasise about extreme violence. Come on! Tell us what you'd like to do when he does this.

Give him a sterner talking to? Okay, how about fill said cups with acid and then splash them in his face and say "Ha! Bet you don't like that!"