The Mock Turtle

Our dog chews hose pipes. We have builders here repairing the garden wall and they left their hose pipe, which was attached to ours as an extension, and the whole thing snaked across the length of the garden. I pointed out that we should definitely put the hose away as it would be even more annoying if the dog chewed a hose pipe that isn’t even ours. He said he would do it.

So he put the builder’s section of the hose away and left ours out, and now the dog has chewed it. As I said he would.

My mother used to say “if you want a job done, do it yourself.” Mother , I hear you.

Squirrel wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:27 am My mother used to say “if you want a job done, do it yourself.” Mother , I hear you.

Mine used to say, "I marched for you girls to HAVE it all, and instead you just DO it all." Also true.

Good job S can drop the asbestos off at the tip when he takes the bin then, Smal.

He's been with the asbestos, but another trip is certainly in his near future

I hear Squizz's mum too, I said I'd put the bins out, and he selflessly offered (not) to.

That’s so true Lora. It’s so fucking frustrating. I can vividly remember the clenched tone of my mum’s voice as she said it .

I have taken to saying unhelpful passive aggressive stuff like “if only there were two adults in this house to do this sort of thing!”

I sometimes say to my children 'see that man over there, he is your Dad and he also knows where stuff is. Ask him.'

I pointed out last night that it was bin night, which he did nothing about in full knowledge that he would never set an alarm or get up in time to sort it in the morning. Obviously I did it this morning, because I don't want a bin full of rancid trash. :sigh:

Ismee wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 1:42 pm I sometimes say to my children 'see that man over there, he is your Dad and he also knows where stuff is. Ask him.'

God Squirrel, my mother used to say the same. Specifically, a muttered "if you want something doing, do it your bloody self". I also mutter this.

lol

My mini roasting is -

Mr D makes me hot drinks throughout the day. If he's here I never have to ask either a drink will appear or he'll ask.

Amazing you'd think?

My moan is that he will wander through with a freshly made piping hot drink and try and hand it to me with him still using the handle. JUST FUCKING PUT IT ON THE TABLE

He then gets butt hurt when I ask him to put it down. I get kicked puppy eyes

Ismee wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 1:42 pm I sometimes say to my children 'see that man over there, he is your Dad and he also knows where stuff is. Ask him.'

Yes! I was mowing the lawn on Saturday and D came out to ask me a ridiculous question that I had to stop the mower to hear. I pointed out that he had just walked past his father who was sitting on the sofa to come out and ask me. Our house is often: Oh! If only there was another responsible adult to ask.

Also I can confirm that this transcends the human species, as all four cats walk straight past their male human and yell at me that their brother is being annoying/they want a snack/they want the door opening/they want the rain stopping/there is a squirrel in their bed. Every bloody time.

Cerise wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:13 pm

Ismee wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 1:42 pm I sometimes say to my children 'see that man over there, he is your Dad and he also knows where stuff is. Ask him.'

Yes! I was mowing the lawn on Saturday and D came out to ask me a ridiculous question that I had to stop the mower to hear. I pointed out that he had just walked past his father who was sitting on the sofa to come out and ask me. Our house is often: Oh! If only there was another responsible adult to ask.

A friend of mine was at work here, in mainland France, and got a phone call from her 20 something daughter saying she couldn't get the oven to work in the house in Corsica she was living in and asking what she should do about it. Her (retired) father was sat in the sitting room of the same house reading a newspaper.

These stories are making my blood boil! I was out with a friend last year and her 16 year old son rang her from home to ask where something was despite his dad being home with him.

Even Mr O will shout up to the boys that he was sat right there and they could have asked him. Unfortunately we all know he is useless at finding things or knowing where they are kept.

Mr P is guilty of this - I'm sick to the eye teeth of him saying that he's looked somewhere for something, then I go to the drawer or whatever, move one thing out of the way and there is the thing he was looking for. He then claims that it wasn't there when he looked

Olive! I saw on Joe Wick's IG today that you can download a PE with Joe certificate - you should get one for Mr O

S does the drawer thing. 'There's no point looking in there, I've checked it!' Me: 'Is this it?'

Get a Joe Wicks Certificate framed for him for Fathers Day

Yes! I’m definitely going to give him the certificate.

He finally told me he’s going to look up more specific Body Coach workouts as the PE ones have too much jumping about. You think?!

Honestly, I knew he’d get there eventually but fucking hell!

olive wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 3:23 pm Even Mr O will shout up to the boys that he was sat right there and they could have asked him. Unfortunately we all know he is useless at finding things or knowing where they are kept.

It's known as Kenickie looking in my house.

olive wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 3:34 pm Yes! I’m definitely going to give him the certificate.

This is great!

I have a webex meeting with my team, my manager, my manager's boss and her boss. They were doing a round of questions and R is in the background trying to answer them loudly like it's a pub quiz.

smalex wrote: ↑Wed Jun 17, 2020 3:28 pm S does the drawer thing. 'There's no point looking in there, I've checked it!' Me: 'Is this it?'

I have taken to chanting “Boop. Boop. Activating womb locator. Boop. Boop.” while looking. In fact there was even one day where I stuck my belly forwards into the fridge and “Ding! Object located!”.

I had the biggest rant at two of the boys in this house, about this. I think they looked a bit scared. But not only do I not know where the iPhone charger is, I also don't care because I don't even have a fucking iPhone. The fact that they repeatedly ask me is just offensive.