FML

[Bat Macdui]

Mumbaa has taken to burying dead things in the garden and then digging them up a year later for the skulls, which she then passes on to me. She tried to lob the head off a dead seabird the other day. She says she's thinking of me and texts me whenever she does this.

Any particular reason why?

[Lily]

Bumping a thread in case anyone has anything they want to share. In my case, it was listening to my colleagues discussing their plans to go and see Richard II at the Globe, and Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet, while myself spending a small fortune booking tickets to go and see a production of Three Little Pigs

This has REALLY made me laugh. Thank you Liv.

[baargain]

I'm the one who collects the skulls, I found a pony skull years ago and now whenever people see animal skulls they bring them to me. But Mumbaa is just taking it one step further

[Bat Macdui]

Fair enough. Do you want me to keep an eye out for skulls on the hills? See a lot of sheep ones....

[baargain]

I have quite a few sheep ones, but one with impressive horns is always good

[baargain]

I have quite a few sheep ones, but one with impressive horns is always good

[Ginger]

I'm just going to gloss over baa's habit there

whiny wanging blah blah

[spidey]

Don't ask me how, but I tripped over in Hornsey High Street, and have the skinned elbow and knee to probe it. Oh and my pride was badly bruised as well.

[Dáire]

I'll add to the pain posts with: my 'irritating' knee got worse, then worser, then didn't respond to physio. Suspected meniscus tear (crushed the cartilage and split it) and now awaiting an MRI ("oh the wait's not so bad, weeks rather than months") and possible/probable knee surgery. I can't walk more than a few steps and am basically very gutted. And a joy to be around 31, housebound with a two year old and I'm terrified I'll never walk properly again. I pretty much glare at people walking normally and seethe with jealousy.

Sometimes I google to find meniscus stories with happy outcomes, but the bad ones (I had to have it removed and now I have osteoarthritis at 39! They stitched it but I split it again! I've been on crutches for 17 weeks and no sign of coming off yet!) seem to clutter the top of the list.

I want some vicodin, to complete the Dr House transformation.

[rosy]

You can't get vicodin in the UK, Dáire. The closest thing is codydramol but it's not as strong. Fuck our (painful) lives.

[Squirrel]

We are discussing our ailments again! We're so elderly . Quick, someone go on a drugs bender, shag a football team and get an Alife tattooee.

[spidey]

We are discussing our ailments again! We're so elderly . Quick, someone go on a drugs bender, shag a football team and get an Alife tattooee.

But while we're at it, I've a fibroid the size of a mango, pressing on my renal tract, causing me to wee endlessly and likely to need a hysterctomy.

Daire: I only had to wait about 10 days for an MRI for the offending fibroid-I was quite surprised at how quick I was offered it, especially as I'm neither in pain, nor likely to die. A few years my mum needed one for a trapped nerve in her back which she was in agony with. The wait was so long she ended up going private for both the MRI and the resulting surgery. The NHS is odd.

[Dáire]

Oh that's quite good news. About the MRI. Not your bladder

I'll go get some of that Sopacocadene stuff, that's 12.5mg of the good stuff I think, and keep the codydramol in mind for the next thing I hurt myself with. I'm using a walking stick now, which actually really helps keep the weight off.

'FML's about pain are probably the most likely, if you don't have many relatives around to do mental things like bestow animal carcasses upon you

[Squirrel]

I had an FML so awful this morning that I can't even post it. I wore rubber gloves that went straight in the bin after I'd finished cleaning up, and I'll leave it at that.

Dáire I hope your knee is one of the success stories.

[Lily]

Oh God. I really want to know it. Can you post it under Secret Santa?

[ozbird]

I kept waking up last night with the awful panicking feeling I'd slept through my alarm and was late for work. It happened 4 times, the last time an hour before my alarm actually went off. I've felt slightly nauseous and exhausted all day.

[Mrs Danvers]

Oh God. I really want to know it. Can you post it under Secret Santa?

And that would stop us knowing it was Squirrel how, you daftie ?

[Sofa]

So Mr S told me there was a knackered honeybee in the hallway and asked me to help the kids feed it some sugar water off a spoon to give it the energy to go on its way... Some of you may have seen my rather embarrassing Facebook post with pictures of the 'bee' drinking from a teaspoon. Well, anyway, turns out the bee was actually a sodding fly of some description and now all my mates are laughing at me

[Vegas]

That is FB gold, Sofa .

[Heebie Jeebie]

Oh God. I really want to know it. Can you post it under Secret Santa?

And that would stop us knowing it was Squirrel how, you daftie ?

I love the idea of Secret Santa suddenly posting out of the blue to tell us about a toilet training disaster Squirrel could respond to the post, so as not to arouse suspicion that it was her who posted originally.

I love the bee rescue too. This thread has cheered me right up.