The Mock Turtle

He always seems like a really nice man with a great sense of humour.

Peter Crouch is a funny guy, he always comes across well!

She's now trying to make out that it's all "bants" and the guy is her best friend.

Meanness should be called out more often. Peter Crouch is a dude!

I say this without aiming it at Peter Crouch at all as I LOVE it, but it’s such a shame that the one time the snide put down is resoundingly (and appropriately) ridiculed is when it was by a woman, and not the army of arsehole men who serially pop up on Twitter comments just to be dicks.

Yeah, good point.

I think you see a hell of a lot of men put down on Twitter by the likes of Lineker, and the bloody excellent Georgie Bingham who is always doing it.

Is this a parody or are people actually this stupid?

Having looked at the twitter account I think it’s a parody.

The Independent seem to be reporting it as real

People are really dumber than a stick aren’t they? Cant remember what I was watching the other day but a reporter was asking why these women he was interviewing were so happy on Brexit day and neither of them had a clue what leaving the EU actually meant. It was beyond embarrassing.

The original tweet was real, I think. He was standing the wrong queue.

The one later on must be after the account was made public again, it was made private when the first few tweets started doing the rounds.

Someone has just posted the below on Facebook which has really made me laugh;

Local residents with a taste for black pudding were left fearing for the future as Bury announced plans to leave the Lancashire Economic Community.The LEC, which allows for free trade between all major economic areas of Lancashire has existed for over 50 years. Under the LEC rules, supplies such as Holland’s Pies from Accrington, Bury Black Pudding, Mrs Kirkham’s Cheese, Eccles cakes and Oldham Tubular Bandages have been free from trade restrictions and tariffs.

However, the Mayor of Bury, Trevor Holt, yesterday announced plans for Bury to leave the LEC.

“We can take the money we pay into the LEC and use it to fund the Castle Leisure Centre instead. We will make Bury great again,” he told a press conference.

“Currently Bury’s black pudding industry produces up to 14 black puddings per week, accounting for 80 per cent of total world demand. Local celebrities are backing the plan, including Zak out of Emmerdale, Fizz out of Corrie and Guy Garvey out of Elbow. Garvey implored the people of Bury to ‘throw their curtains wide.”

He added “One day like this a year will see me right.”

Arrangements for BURXIT are likely to be complex, however, particularly as the issue of a hard border delineating the Bury economic area is vehemently opposed by the Ramsbottom Unionists who came out heavily against the plan.

Meanwhile, panic buying of black pudding has been reported from as far away as Bacup.

Some of the comments though are even funnier:

Mary: Typical council. AGAIN we don't have a say. They want to look at unblocking all the grids to stop the flooding in the streets and the bins, as you can always tell which have been emptied as it is always all over the place.

John: Why is it you give someone a little bit of authority they think they are world power. Mr Holt is a glorified golf captain why should he be able to call the shots when next year he will be out of office? Surely this should be voted on?

That’s amazing.

All of that is excellent.

Meanwhile, panic buying of black pudding has been reported from as far away as Bacup.

Up to 14 black puddings per week

...accounting for 80 per cent of total world demand.

That's fantastic!

My council posted about doing up a particular historical area, and someone commented 'waist of money. What about the potholes?' so I replied that I could see why they'd find the project hard to stomach.

I would hate to do social media for a council. It doesn't matter what they post, there is always an army of people telling them that they are wasting (waisting) money. It must get dispiriting, unless you can develop a thick skin.

I've got a live one on my FB just now. I posted about a picture I saw in an exhibition that had an impact on me. I'd mentioned it to a friend, and tagged her in a shot of it. I had wrongly thought it was a painting (it did look like one), and was corrected on the thread. Ok, but one of my tagged friend's friends saw it and first just posted 'photograph', even though the point had been made, and I had responded. I thanked her for her contribution a bit sarcastically, and she's been like a dog with a bone, telling me that it is important to 'people like her, who make Art' that I get it right, and so on. I have no idea who she is. Weirdo.

Jeez, let’s hope she’s got an offay-sized comeuppance in the post, Morgs