IWLTS in 2020...

[Lily]

I really want to bash his head in. Homeless bloke not YMCA bloke. Although he could have been nicer.

I even asked my theatre if he could possibly sleep there and I was considering inviting him in for a bath although I know that would have been ludicrous. Still if you're going to sit out there in the freezing cold rather than take accommodation offered to you there's got to be something wrong with you, right?

[Edith Bacon]

Try and let it go - homeless bloke is hardly living his best life. That’s not to say you should feel sorry for him, just try to cultivate feeling nothing about him.

[Lily]

I will, and at least it will save me some money. I just feel very naive. Smund is right, disheartening is the word.

[Marth]

He's a street homeless drug user. Those people duck and dive, Lily. They need to. He was out in the freezing pissing rain. He's not living it up in some nice warm pad, popping out to take your money.

[Dáire]

He lied, but he's still clearly in a bad place. Many will have similar issues. I'm sure I've read that the majority on the streets will be those who do not want to, or are unable to, engage with services, usually due to drug use (there isn't the support to quit no matter the rewards.) I know the problem's getting worse, but many homeless are in temporarily accommodation. Streets isn't common for those who have simply fallen on hard times.

You could maybe chat to the homeless charity or shelter and ask how best to help?

[Ella77]

What Edith said. And do not- DO NOT- invite any more men in for a bath. I’m not remotely joking. That’s dangerous. I know you meant well.

[Marth]

People that are street homeless drug users have very complex issues, and they don't behave as we feel they should. Try to let it go if you can.

[Marth]

What Edith said. And do not- DO NOT- invite any more men in for a bath. I’m not remotely joking. That’s dangerous. I know you meant well.

God yes. Please don't.

[Lily]

I didn't invite him in, don't worry! I'm not that stupid. It's just a Want.

I will set up a regular donation to a homeless charity, as that way I know where the money is going and I am helping. He's still out there freezing his tits off. I could take down a hot water bottle but it might be best just to steer clear.

[rosy]

What Marth (and the others) said. You can’t fix his problems, and your kindness may change his life one day. But not right now. Stay safe and let it go, Lily.

[Dáire]

Or your car.

Please just steer clear. Sometimes it's safer to harden your heart and, to truly help, volunteer with the services who are already safely doing what they can.

[Ella77]

Yes, also not in your car, please!

[Lily]

I know, it was just such a bloody awful storm.

Volunteering isn't a bad idea at all. Then you are doing something practical. Thanks for the idea Daire.

[Morganna]

People that are street homeless drug users have very complex issues, and they don't behave as we feel they should. Try to let it go if you can.

Yes. He could well have been telling you the truth - he was offered a place but couldn't take it because his addiction meant that he needed drugs more than he needed a roof. If that's the case, he wasn't scamming you, and may well feel terrible.

[Ruby]

Rough-sleeping is a really complex issue and lots of rough-sleepers have overlapping substance & mental health issues which are difficult to unpick and solve. It's why putting them all in hotels during the first wave didn't work. It's why the Neville brothers putting them into their hotel over winter didn't work.

[Marth]

Rough-sleeping is a really complex issue and lots of rough-sleepers have overlapping substance & mental health issues which are difficult to unpick and solve. It's why putting them all in hotels during the first wave didn't work. It's why the Neville brothers putting them into their hotel over winter didn't work.

My team have been getting quite a few referrals for rough sleepers that have been housed in hotels during the pandemic.

My heart sinks as it's so difficult to get them sorted. It's about a 20 per cent success rate, meaning there are loads out there not getting the benefits they should be getting.

[SunnyMum]

Lily you are such a lovey person. But please, please don't go letting people in your car let alone your bath.
There are other ways you can help without puting yourself as risk.

[Tabitha]

We’ve all been there Lily, don’t feel bad. I once gave a sobbing man a fiver and my pack of tissues only to see him bawling his eyes out several times a week over the next few weeks.

For gods sake don’t let any strangers in your car or home though!

[Loralei]

Rough-sleeping is a really complex issue and lots of rough-sleepers have overlapping substance & mental health issues which are difficult to unpick and solve. It's why putting them all in hotels during the first wave didn't work. It's why the Neville brothers putting them into their hotel over winter didn't work.

This is really true. Being offered accommodation isn't a solution in itself; lots of accommodation comes with conditions, most are dry (no drugs or alcohol) without having the facilities to support detox and rehab, and many people choose to live on the streets because they actually feel safer than in hostels. And that's before you begin to address mental health, past abuse, the manipulative tendencies that have enabled them to survive thus far. Turning down accommodation doesn't mean someone doesn't want help; it means the help they need isn't being offered.

You showed someone that you saw them as a human being who was worth your care, and you have no idea whether that might be something that they hold on to and helps them in the long term. Your money may well have enabled him to survive another night on the streets even if he most likely didn't spend it as you'd want him to. Or none of the above but you proved yourself to be a compassionate human being. Volunteering is a great idea but do be prepared to have your faith in human nature knocked along the way; it rarely gives you the warm glow in the way you anticipate. (I have found this even with the old dears, who are supposed to be apple cheeked and genial, not complaining that my car doesn't suit them and that the lovingly prepared afternoon tea will give them wind )

[Zoomer]

On a far less worthy note...

IWLTS : I'm sorry I can't do our Zoom call tonight, but I have Bridgerton to watch!