IWLTS in 2020...

[Ella77]

Argh! I don't think I'd be able to resist a "It's so hard though - look how you had to take Jemima to M&S the other day!"

[Heebie Jeebie]

Please be doing some kind of early Christmas gift drop or something.

To my neighbour who I got to know during lockdown. She's over 70 and her husband is in a home. Her sons look after her really well and she's a very young 70-something but they have all been very strict about sticking to the rules to protect her. The drive is full of cars tonight. I hope it's not the husband, or worse, her.

I can update this with good news. My neighbour and her sons have all had covid a while ago. None of them were very ill at all but now feel comfortable with being in each others houses which I don't blame them for. This was so lovely to hear it has given me a proper boost.

[SunnyMum]

IWLTS: It was lovely having you here in quarantine / isolation for the last 2.5 months. But I'm actually glad that you're going "home".

I can't say it IRL but, boy do I think it. I'm an awful mother.

[Ella77]

I’m glad they’re ok, Heebie.

[Leap]

Me too, Heebs.

It’s an awkward time, Sunny. At that stage of life I was independent enough to want certain things my own way, but young enough to still regress to lazy teenage habits/attitudes if I stayed at home for too long. I can imagine it’s been a far worse mix during current circumstances.

[SunnyMum]

She's no longer a teen. She's a fully grown 26 year old adult! I think that's what made the situation difficult.
While we were harvesting it was good, everyone was busy, but since the end of the harvest things have been getting, let's say, strained.

[Morganna]

I completely understand, SM. I miss S like mad, as I haven't seen her for so long, but this time last year she had been here for a couple of weeks and I was counting the days until she was going home. I think Leap has hit the nail bang on the head. (S is 27)

[SunnyMum]

Yes, she's so used to living her own life in her own town (and a different country) it's hard for her to come back back to our house and our habits and ways.
She's a lovely girl and I love her to bits, buts she's very INTENSE.
Add to that that she's in the hospitality industry and has been "furloughed" in Belgium since March on and off. So the frustration and anger has been building up.

I vividly remember preferring to be at my boyfriend's Mum's house rather than my parents' house simply because the rules, habits, ways etc were different. And I was only 18 at the time.

[SunnyMum]

Just to add, she wasn't lazy at all while she was here. In fact she was the one doing all the cleaning and housework! So much so the we (her Dad and sisters) felt judged! She's a real clean freak - even as a child she was always tidying up and cleaning. The days when the school was closed were great as I'd come home from work to a spotless house.
She has simply grown into her own person and she's struggling to accept that her parents haven't changed. We're still the boring two old people we always were. Our opinions are more or less the same as they were 20 years ago whilst hers have obviously evolved.
Add to all that that she didn't really want to spend 2+ months here in the first place, it all got a bit too much for her and us.
We didn't part on bad terms or any thing but I'm pretty sure she won't be back here for at least a year Covid or no Covid.

[Smunder Woman]

IWLTS fuck off, to everyone who thinks they have an opinion about the boys being with their dad. Not family this time, a friend who decided she should voice big opinions on zoom last night, accompanied with comments about how my PhD is easier than hers, and lockdown affected me less. She is in her 40s, no kids, lives with her parents so no house/financial responsibilities, has all her meals made for her... I get it still won't be easy, but fuck right off.

[H1ppychick]

That sounds like the sort of thing you should voice (in more moderate terms). Does she think you are somehow shirking a responsibility because the boys aren’t with you for a couple of weeks? Let them stay with her for 50 weeks out of 52 and see if she feels the same then.

[Smunder Woman]

No, I am being irresponsible by sending them to a different area.

[H1ppychick]

I’m intrigued as to what she thinks the alternative was. Also I think that you said that Instadad lives in rural Buckinghamshire? It’s not like you’ve sent them to lick strangers in a high rise in central London.

[Hazey_Jane]

Seriously? I’m sorry Smun but she’s very clearly a twat. I hope you stayed breezy and changed the subject rapidly.

IWLTS 1- no, your/ our SIL wouldn’t like any of your mother’s clothes. Don’t ask me to go into detail just trust me on this one.

IWLTS 2- yes I’m sure you’re textile professional friend knows more but even she wouldn’t want to waste her time going through things and taking them in.

IWLTS 3- yes I’m sure there are organizations that take clothes for women to get them back in the workforce but they are all in London and wouldn’t be open at this time of year. While it is a vey good intention I also know that those bags would still be there in 6 months time which is not the point of this exercise, you need to clear stuff out now and not leave it all for your dad to do. That is why I am not reacting to your suggestion and putting things into manageable sized bags for your dad to take to the charity shops whenever they reopen.

[Lily]

I think you should say all that, Smun. She's not a friend.

[Ruby]

No, I am being irresponsible by sending them to a different area.

Do not listen to a single word these fucks say. They don't know anything about it

[smalex]

IWLTS stop sharing bloody government covid advice you didn't even follow, you absolute prick.

Todays: if you have to self isolate you must not leave the house etc. She took her daughter to fucking marks and Spencer to pick up their turkey last week

And lo, it comes to pass, less than 24hrs later. 'The Londoners up Pen Y Fan are screwing us over'.

I mean, they are, but not all by themselves

[cluefree]

No, I am being irresponsible by sending them to a different area.

Do not listen to a single word these fucks say. They don't know anything about it

Definitely this. Tell her to fuck off.

[Smunder Woman]

There is no point. She is a doctor so thinks she knows all, plus is completely unwilling to look at other perspectives. I said something along the lines of there being a risk in sending them, but there being a certainty that my sanity would be impacted, that I wouldn't get PhD finished on time, and that I need to finish to have an income. Then changed the subject She did also comment that it hadn't occurred to her that people needed to finish on time for financial reasons, which gives a good idea of where she's at really.

[Kenickie]

Wow. What a privileged dickhead.