The Mock Turtle

Princess Morripov wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 1:10 pm Whereas I think there’s absolutely a market for generic polite cards for family members you aren’t that keen on but want to show willing

It is so hard to find a Mother’s Day or birthday card that isn’t full of tripe about how amazing they are.

This entirely. I can’t on principle buy cards that say to the best mum ever etc much I feel she would love one

Arghhh I really struggle with those. Mine mainly say Happy birthday Mum/happy mother's day no gush.i read the wording in case I accidently overstate the sentiment

My kids send me gushy cards and write really nice things in them. I feel really moved by them. I think they actually read the printed sentiment also.

J sent me one with a mummy bear hugging her baby bear. I strongly suspect it was chosen by my DIL . S sent one with Jim from FND saying 'You look nice', which is more what I'm used to.

Morganna wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:18 pm S sent one with Jim from FND saying 'You look nice', which is more what I'm used to.

sb1 once sent me a M Day card that said "You are like a mother to me"

Marth wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:08 pm Arghhh I really struggle with those. Mine mainly say Happy birthday Mum/happy mother's day no gush.i read the wording in case I accidently overstate the sentiment

I do as well.

It was proved this year by my mum showing me the card my - sullen still living at home and has no patience for my mum's nonsense - brother that stated Best Mum In The World and declaring, laughingly, that clearly he didn't read it as he wouldn't think or say that about her ever.

Marth wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:20 pm
sb1 once sent me a M Day card that said "You are like a mother to me"

Monk sent me this one a couple of years ago!

Marth wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:20 pm

Morganna wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:18 pm S sent one with Jim from FND saying 'You look nice', which is more what I'm used to.

sb1 once sent me a M Day card that said "You are like a mother to me"

My sister and I once seriously contemplated getting my mum one of these for M Day.

I don’t understand why you would keep buying gifts for people who are ungrateful and rude about them…it’s ok to just stop buying!

Hobbes wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 9:10 pm I don’t understand why you would keep buying gifts for people who are ungrateful and rude about them…it’s ok to just stop buying!

If you did understand you wouldn't say that . We'd never hear the end of it. Also, when someone is 87 you never know if it will be their last birthday/Christmas/Mother's Day, so there's that, too. She'd be really hurt. Yes, it's blackmail, but she's not going to change now, so there's no point in making a stand - I'm just sounding off, really.

A lot of people (specially of that generation) see their value and therefore self-worth in terms of things like how many cards they get, and how much 'trouble' others have gone to. Her friends are the same - the card from a son in Australia or somewhere - 'and you know, he's so very busy and the nearest shop is 500 miles away but he never forgets' (ie his PA or wife has bought it like she always does, despite being busy herself and the distance being the same for women) is much more valuable than the ones from daughters who work, run the house and bring the grandchildren to visit. They love boasting about how many grandchildren have visited, even though they'd rather watch Midsomer Murders than talk to an 18 month old, and check off every single card against their birthday book, with the soppy-versed ones at the front, as they have no concept of privacy and read one another's calendars and cards as a matter of course. Plus, they can re-read the 'So lucky to have had the best mum ever' shite and tell themselves it's true - a lot of revisionism goes on in later life. It's harder when the relationship was never that great in the first place. If you've had a lifetime of allowances being made for you, and a mother who's been tolerant of your foibles it must be easier to reciprocate. Plus, knowing you'll feel guilty when they die doesn't help.

I remember when Mum was younger and complaining that her own mother was like that. She used to say to L and me that if she turned out that way we should tell her, but of course we can't, any more than she could. Anyway, this is IWLTS - I wouldn't dream of saying any of it.

It is complicated, although I tend to keep things simple these days by not putting much effort into trying to find gifts that please older relatives. Flowers are often standard, and if they are unappreciated then I don't feel so invested and they won't hang around unused, or regifted.

Oh my god I am so glad I'm not the only who spends ages trawling through Mum cards to find one that doesn't have two verses of pukey sub-poetry Hallmark sentimentality. It's getting harder, I swear.

My mum is always lovely about any gifts though, I should add.

My mother likes musical cards so that puts any concern about too much sentimentality to rest. The last two gifts I gave her are now mine. A Pottery Barn bathrobe and slippers and a Kate Spade handbag were politely returned for being surplus to need. I think for Mother's Day I'll buy her (myself) some Jo Malone perfume.

My son gave me a birthday card with a pin that says World's Best Mom and I've practically built a shrine around it. I left my daughter's birthday and Mother's Day cards up on my shelves in my home office for at least six months. Daughter is amazing at gifts. She had a duplicate of my favorite perfume while she was growing up created and the bottle is engraved with my name

Wow! What a fantastic gift. What was the perfume?

Lauren. I haven't worn it in years, but it was so sweet that she remembered it and thought of it as my signature scent at the time.

I’m definitely down with the Jo Malone perfume idea.

Iwlts - you are genuinely THE most annoying twat I’ve ever known.

Luna wrote: ↑Sun Mar 26, 2023 2:09 pm you are genuinely THE most annoying twat I’ve ever known.

Now, if you could get cards with that inside, they would fly off the shelves

Musical cards!!! Do they still exist? That’s given me a proper wave of nostalgia

Fe got me an excellent card this year, where you fill it in yourself, eg top best 3 things about mum etc. Twee as fuck but he's really funny so I was properly laughing. Our 'favourite thing to do together' was to roast people who we have no business roasting...I cried because I felt so 'seen'

When he was in primary and they made cards at school, he was always very clear that he was made to put the poem in. Thanks, son!

Morganna wrote: ↑Sun Mar 26, 2023 3:44 pm

Luna wrote: ↑Sun Mar 26, 2023 2:09 pm you are genuinely THE most annoying twat I’ve ever known.

Now, if you could get cards with that inside, they would fly off the shelves

Husband’s birthday card.