The Mock Turtle

IWLTS: YOU'VE LEFT THE CAMERA ON!

I write up mystery shopper reports for a company and some of them involve videos. This bloke who really annoys me has submitted one and he's gone to the loo in the middle of the visit. Without turning the video camera off.

IWLTS- you are wearing me down with all the questions and I don’t really want to discuss much about this with you.

IWLTS- if everyone else but you gets off the train, don’t you think it would be a good idea to get off to?

To the bloke that is now merrily on his way to the depot

Was he asleep, or just sitting waiting for life to improve?

Nope, not asleep. Headphones on (so maybe didn’t hear the announcements in DE and EN) but how to not notice that every other person got off…

IWLTS You have really fucking annoyed me.

Very good old friend - works very very part time. Did stop all together for over a year. Husband works full time. Decent job. Smaller mortgage than me etc etc.

We were bemoaning no longer having ban NHS dentist and the plan I have is the same more or less as what they have been offered, price wise.

When I said this, she said "yes it is, but remember there are two of us!" And she didn't mean all the better to share the costs.

So pissed off. I work full time because I have to. Pay all bills and everything myself. No help. It's that thing where when you go out with a couple you buy a round and then they buy one round "as a couple" and then you buy the next.

It really fucking pissed me off.

IWLTS: not really showcasing your towering intellect and problem solving skills there, were you, Mr Would-be Conservative Councillor?

I was just out of the shower and heard voices and squeaky metal sounds coming from our gate. Peer out to see a bloke, apparently having just taken said gate off its hinges, trying to put it back while his mate was giving helpful advice. With my hair still in a towel, I went full Hyacinth Bucket through the tiny open quarterlight bathroom window "Excuse me, what are you doing? That's my gate!" Then dispatched a more fully clothed Mr R out to investigate.

Bloke and mate were trying to deliver an electioneering pamphlet. Not spotting the big PULL sign on the gate, he pushed, got it slightly stuck, then decided to lift it off its hinges to solve the problem. He was extremely cheery throughout. The complete fucking idiot.

Pamphlet has gone straight in recycling.

What an absolute banana

Which party?

Hazey_Jane wrote: ↑Sun Mar 12, 2023 3:41 pm Which party?

Tory naturally.

IWLTS, why now and what do you want? I don't trust you.
This is to a former manager who made my life hell. They are trying to connect to me via LinkedIn. It was a very toxic work environment, only in the past few years do I feel confident in who I am and what I can do.

That's horrible, Wiggle. I feel for you. Someone I loathed at school tried to add me on Facebook a while back and it took me right back to how much she bullied me. I would block and take pleasure in doing so.

IWLTS: if you're going to regift something, you should probably check that it hasn't been engraved

No?!

Why does this not even surprise me that someone would regift such a thing?

Oh yes. Its a bottle of gin and its the back thats been engraved so its not immediately obvious but its kinda put me off it.

That’s a weird thing to get engraved, to be fair

Well it was a birthday present to the person who then gave it to me, so that's what was engraved on it

"Happy Birthday Megan, with love from Wills, Kate and kids"

There is no way they realised, they'd be mortified if they knew!

Do you know the Duchess of Sussex?

Oh no, that's poor.