The Mock Turtle

Either following marriage/divorce or, more interestingly, for other reasons.

Recently S and I had a "we should do something" conversation after 25 years together. We both disliked our middle names, so we've changed them by deed poll. My middle name is now his mother's maiden name (she died when he was young), and his middle name is now my surname (which doubles as a man's name anyway). So, not a massive change for either of us but it felt a nice thing to do, and much easier than getting married .

It made me curious as to what others have done!

That's very lovely and unusual, Rosa. It feels very warm and loving.

It's never occured to me to change my name but in hindsight it might have been nice as I've never particularly liked either of mine.

Congratulations Rosa and S, on 25 years together!

I'd quite like to change my first name as it has such unpleasant connotations but it feels like a lot of effort after 51 years. I also feel like it'd be pandering to the prejudice so I'll just hope that it (the prejudice) dies away.

My last name, I wouldn't change, and I've always said that since I was a young un. I'm not mad about it but I feel a much stronger sense of being Irish now and my surname is part of that.

I've changed my name multiple times following marriages (and divorces). I reluctantly changed it for my second husband, as I didn't like his surname, and maintained my maiden name professionally.

I have double-barrelled my surname on Facebook, but I'm not doing it again.

My brother changed his name by deed poll; he was never known by his first name on his birth certificate, always by his middle name. So he changed it legally and gave himself a new middle name.

I'm not wild about my first name but I wouldn't change it. It's me. It felt very liberating changing my middle name (which I rarely used anyway as it had bad connotations) and it made me wonder why I didn't change it (or officially lose it) before, as it's proved to be such an easy process.

Squeak and I were talking about this this afternoon. She doesn’t like one of her middle names. I wouldn’t be devastated if she ditched it. She’s also not wildly fussed about being called Lexie really and said she might reinvent herself as Alex at some point.

I don’t go by my given name much really but I am OK with it. My middle name is very blah but I wouldn’t change it unless I was changing the whole lot.

It's never occurred to me to be honest, although my first name was a constant source of annoyance as a child, I'm over that now. I was quite happy to ditch my ultra dull last name with marriage. As I child I wanted a middle name and came up one (I don't have one) but not even sure I'd bother with that now - one less thing to write on forms

That's lovely, Rosa.

I've never changed mine. I like my first name, despite how common it is, and I think my middle name goes well with it. I don't love my surname but I think it would have been really weird to change when I got married so it just seemed simpler and better to keep it.

Congratulations Rosa! 25 years

My name is pretty standard and 70s but I wouldn't (and didn't) change it.

You and S have gone the same distance as me and M We marked the occasion by M totally forgetting on the day, despite wanging on about it for months in advance. I hope you and S did something suitably romantic and classy.

I have M's surname. I took it to get rid of husband no 1's surname, which I took to get rid of my father's surname. Screwed by the patriarchy. I wouldn't change my first name, if nothing else I'd be too stupid to realise folk were speaking to me if I started using another name.

kiwi!

We went one better as we BOTH forgot the day (the anniversary of our first date), so just had a regular Monday night doing nothing.

Who says romance is dead. I wouldn't have minded as we don't usually do that sort of 'thing', but he was the one who kept talking about it. Numpty!

Congratulations, Rosa and Kiwi!

I changed my surname to my now-ex husband's before we got married; I disliked my birth surname and was teased through my childhood for it. After I got divorced I didn't bother changing it to anything else, I've been ex's surname for two-thirds of my life and it would be a lot of effort snd admin to change it now.

I did change my surname the first time. I had an odd maiden name so it was a relief to have one that wasn't. Second time round I only did because I didn't think it was fair to keep a name that wasn't really mine. What a pain it was telling everyone that needed to know, though.

I’ve never changed mine. My mum changed her surname to my stepdad’s years before they actually got married & I was asked if I wanted to change mine too but I said no as I wanted my dad’s surname since it made me feel like part of the wider family too.

I decided not to change my name when I got married as I felt like I wouldn’t be me if I changed it. I might have considered double barrelling if Mr L would do the same but there was never any danger of that happening Plus the truth is that I wanted to get married for the legal protection rather than romantic feelings as we had been together for years anyway.

I changed my name when I got married, but now I'm still walking round with my ex husband's name. I don't like it but I can't face the hassle of changing it plus I didn't want to leave my daughter having to use his name if I wasn't if that makes sense. She's an adult now so I guess we could both call ourselves anything we like!

Congrats, Rosa and Kiwi! Mr R and I are coming up on 25 years married this July (our 30th anniversary of meeting was early last year)

I changed my surname for all legal purposes when we got married but still mostly work under my maiden name. I use my middle name when coffee places ask for a name as it's a nice easy one syllable number and I hate giving out my real name in that situation.

My Dad's side of the family all had this odd thing where people went by their middle name. Him, his brother, his parents and aunts and uncles. He was always being called by his first name in hospital and having to correct them, or get them to underline his middle name on his ID whiteboard.

My dad & grandad went by their middle names too. It was weird when hospital staff used their first names.

Pip, one of my best friends was always Andy through school, but said one day “I don’t know why everyone calls me that: it’s not my name”. So his oldest school friends call him Andy, a handful of others and I call him Andrew, and then at uni he introduced himself as Drew, so there’s a whole batch of people including his wife who have only ever called him that. Lexie has even more options, she could definitely reinvent herself in every new setting