Renovating Nince Towers

[F'Artiste]

We have an extractor, and despite being as loud as a jet engine it does a good job of getting rid of smoke/grease. It’s slanted, but doesn’t really feel like it’s in the way of our cooking.

Our old extractor was appalling (despite being connected to an outside vent), and we would routinely have all the doors and windows open, flapping tea towels around the smoke alarm whilst it set off every single alarm in the house

[kiwi]

I always use my extractor and it's not too noisy. Since we changed it from internal to external extraction the most noise is the flapping of the vent that echoes back through in winter winds.

[Estrella]

The one we had in our old house was so noisy even on the lowest setting so I only ever used it for the light function. In our current house its hidden in a cupboard and I much prefer that (plus this one is pretty quiet)

[nineseven]

I am almost in tears of frustration at my generally lovely builder. He is incapable of reading a whole email and only replies to part of it EVERY TIME, so we end up having huge confusing threads which could be really simple.

Also he has this enormously frustrating tendency to answer the question he thinks I am asking, rather than the one I am actually asking.

Me: Please can you let me know how big the gap is between the window and the ceiling? I need to work out the best position for a handle so I can reach it.
Him (upset): I have simply installed the window at the same height as the door, which matches the original door, and is symmetrical. It's too late to change the height now.

[Ella77]

This is not your fault at all (I’d be going mad), but trim off any extra words, e.g.

1. How big is the gap between the top of the window and the ceiling (cm)?

2. Can you fit the kitchen extractor fan today?

etc.

[nineseven]

The window thing was over the phone. Being direct doesn't seem to help but I will try to use as few words as possible. Honestly, I am feeling hormonal tonight and nearly cried when I got his latest email

On one occasion, in person, we were standing in my loft and I asked very directly: If I leave these boxes here, will the electrician have enough room to do the rewire up here?

Him: Well, as I've told you previously, the electrician will first test the electrics and then will work to replace all the cable as required [goes into loads of detail explaining electricity, buildings, cables etc for what felt like 10 mins].

Me: Sorry, that wasn't what I was asking. Will he have enough room if I leave these boxes?

Him: Oh. Yes, that's fine.

[Ella77]

Argh, FFS .

[nineseven]

I've noticed men in the office do the same. I ask a question and then they tediously explain something else unrelated to me. I am going to punch them all in the face.

[Disco]

Very frustrating. I once had a decorator mimicking what I was saying but doing it in a whiny Beaker-style voice as I was instructing him about what bits I wanted painted in which colour.

[nineseven]

Wow. I assume he is now a dead decorator.

[Disco]

He's never worked in my house again and my landlord has never given him any work again. I painted the room myself. I'm not having that.

[Ella77]

Fucking hell. Basically they all just think women are stupid. Marv.

[Squirrel]

Oh my god nine, that makes me want to scream.

My husband often answers questions that I haven’t asked, so I let him finish his pointless waffle then repeat the actual question in a slow, deliberate voice . I’m such a joy to be around.

[nineseven]

I have a call with the builder tomorrow. I will make a list of short, clear questions beforehand.

[Squirrel]

Good luck

[Luna]

I bet he’s saying ‘my female client is being difficult’. All because he’s an idiot that can’t comprehend simple sentences

[Lola]

I hope the phone call goes well. You might find it easier with him. Some people who do physical work are not so great with writing & admin (and vice versa!). Remember you’re a professional writer too and he doesn’t have your skills, likewise you wouldn’t be an expert on fitting a kitchen for example.

[nineseven]

He definitely thinks I am being difficult and keeps saying over and over "as I said to you before" (about things he has definitely not said) and I may have snapped a bit It was a really awkward phone call.

E.g. I am paying for the paint for the house, as agreed in the contract. That's fine. But it's not clear if I am going out to BUY the paint, or if I am giving the decorator a list to "source" and then paying him back for it (which is how it worked with my other decorator). The builder could not comprehend the difference and thinks that by asking the question, I want him to buy it. It was extremely painful.

We had a very frank conversation about the communication issues. He says he prefers to receive multiple questions in a single email, but he only answers half of them when I've done this in the past

[Lola]

I think just stick to Ella’s advice then & keep the emails short, and repeat the questions that he hasn’t answered.

[Squirrel]

it's not clear if I am going out to BUY the paint, or if I am giving the decorator a list to "source" and then paying him back for it (which is how it worked with my other decorator). The builder could not comprehend the difference and thinks that by asking the question, I want him to buy it.

This is absolutely infuriating! It doesn’t matter which, you just need to know!