The Mock Turtle

Question! (not a thread for rodent lovers)

We saw a rat in our paved-front-terrace* and called the rat man out. He put down poison and bait. There are none in the house - no droppings and no other signs - but they are possibly underneath as it's a stone Victorian house with a ginnel etc.. The Rat Man suspected a lone wolf. I suspect he may have been simply managing my hysteria.

ANYWAY I know the rat is now dead (*sign of the cross*) because there is an ODOUR at the front of the house, in the front room How long is this precious rat-angel going to take to decompose?

Please send help. My house smells of dead animals.




*yard.

Oh god. Eventually the smell will die down (purchase of one of these may help), but prepare yourself for a possible biblical plague of flies when the corpse bursts and if they find a way up through the floorboards.

As you may recall, I have first hand experience of this My prayers are with you.

Derek Nimmo wrote: ↑Sat May 12, 2018 8:30 pm but prepare yourself for a possible biblical plague of flies when the corpse bursts and if they find a way up through the floorboards.

ARGGGGGH! God I want to set fire to the house. We have the world's shittest floor boards.

Keep the door to that room closed for the foreseeable because you would not believe the number of flies that could hatch all at the same time from such a small corpse.

The problem is that you can think the dead bastard is in one location (I thought it was the communal hallway) but it turned out to be under my internal hallway when the withered corpse was discovered many months later. So closing off rooms may/may not help. Smell can carry oddly.

I AM SO SORRY.

Oh god. No chance of partner lifting the floorboards to find the bastard?

Oh. I knew where our one was last year so it was contained, but fucking hell, the playroom looked like something out of amytiville.

Oh RUBY. as if you're not having a hard enough time. My sympathies

Topcat wrote: ↑Sat May 12, 2018 8:35 pm Keep the door to that room closed for the foreseeable because you would not believe the number of flies that could hatch all at the same time from such a small corpse.

It's the actual living room.

The rat man is going to come back but I don't know if he'll hunt down the corpse.

OH GROSS. I sympathise. We had tons of them under our decking. Prise open the floorboards and hoik that fucker out. I’ll come and do it.

I want to die.

Don’t die. Cluef will sort it for crisps!

Abandon your house and belongings and start again?.

Yes, move house immediately. It's the only answer.

I'll burn it. It's already like a Catholic church in here, I've got so many candles lit.

"Remember that year we watched Eurovision with a dead rat?"

Sometimes a dead rat is the most entertaining thing about Eurovish.

Jesus, Ruby. The stink of dead rodents is like no other. We put up with it for a week before we had to pull off skirtings and knocked holes in the wall to get rid of a dead mouse.

Do you have floorboards? And a flamethrower?

We have exposed floorboards so it shouldn't be that hard.

Are the chaps old enough to have Lynx lying around in the bathroom? The stink of that might drown out some dead rat.