Counteracting the clutter in 2023

[Little My]

What was gifted to R? An opal ring sounds lovely and much better to have something you'll actually wear.

My Mum just randomly sent R a ring that belonged to my Dad's mother. No explanation. I recognized the ring, and I would have dearly loved it. My grandmother died when I was a teenager, so I guess my Dad had held onto it. I would have liked to have been given it, and it feels hurtful to be overlooked. One of our things was going through her extensive collection of costume jewellery together, hence the reason I have some bits and pieces of hers and I have kept hold of the meaningful items even though they are unwearable. To add insult to injury, the ring fits me perfectly but is far too big for R, so now I get to be its caretaker.

I just feel like the asshole of the story, because I sound like I just want the pretty ring and I can't imagine saying anything without feeling petty/grasping. It's essentially true! I just love it, and I would have appreciated it.

Ironically, my Mum was probably just decluttering and didn't give it much thought. Maybe.

After a big clear out, I've hit a bit of a decluttering wall. I now have two covered baskets, one on the main floor and one in my bedroom and every day I have to take out one thing and make a decision.

Sounds like a good plan!

[FiveO'Clock]

I totally understand how you're feeling and would have felt exactly the same way, even though I'd give my daughter anything, as would you. My guess is your mom just didn't think you'd want it.

I'd do a trade. Instead of having the ring size changed, it goes to you and R picks out something she would wear, or you have it made into something she would like to have.

[Hazey_Jane]

Yes please suggest a trade with your daughter.

My friend had not much planned tomorrow so she is going to take me to the charity shop as I want the bags of stuff gone and it’s too much to take on the bus. Hurrah!

[Little My]

My daughter even said it should be mine. (I did NOT tell her how I was feeling; I wouldn't put that on her.) She has no emotional attachment to it, and we do tend to share our things these days. But if I wore the ring I'd probably just feel bad about it at this point.

My sensitive reaction is probably not helped by the fact she put the ring in the same envelope as my birthday card! I still like the idea of making the new ring anyway.

[Squirrel]

I can understand that being hurtful LM, I hope you can resolve it somehow.

I tried to declutter the board game cupboard today, to make room for my son’s snooker / pool paraphernalia since getting a table for Christmas .

The declutter wasn’t particularly successful as it turned out that we all wanted to keep different things so I only got rid of four games.

HOWEVER, due to previous decluttering, I was also able to rehouse some other things as there was enough space elsewhere, so it’s not all bad news.

I keep reading about how decluttering makes you feel so light and free and unburdened, but that is very much not the case for me. It feels horrible and afterwards I feel all dissatisfied and out of sorts.

[Little My]

Thanks for the understanding, guys. It was nice to have a little splurge about it.

Our games cupboard is full of things we don't use, but the kids wanted to keep. As long as it all fits (sensibly) in the designated area, I'm OK with it.

Decluttering makes me feel good if it's done. The whole house is not done.. It will never be done. But I do have certain areas that are and they make me feel happy. My aim is to keep adding more of those types of areas.

[Hazey_Jane]

Oh Squizz, I wonder why that is? If you don’t need to declutter and it isn’t making you feel good then you don’t have to.

[bramblerose]

Oh Squizz. Do you need to get rid of the things? Or is it that you feel you want to but get thwarted by other people?

We've finished sorting the desk. I took all the screws, washers and metal fixings off the desk when I was dismantling it. I went to put them in a box to take to the tip and C wanted to put them in his box of screws in the shed...they went to the tip!

The lounge now looks bigger and brighter. We need a side table with storage so I've ordered something that should be with us on Monday.

[Cosmopolitan]

It doesn't make me feel better either Squiz, I hope that it helps. I don't like being in mess, but I do enjoy being surrounded by the things I have chosen for myself.

[Squirrel]

I genuinely don’t know, it’s probably a combination of things including my general state of mind . I definitely do want to keep getting rid of things, but it’s hard and I don’t feel any improvement even though I know it is better and ojectively our house really isn’t that bad at all. It’s my brain that’s cluttered and disorganised

[Cosmopolitan]

Oh, yes, it feels much worse when my head is spinning, stress makes me feel like I need to clean, tidy and get rid of stuff.

[ParisGal]

The not-even complete and partly broken old sofa that was supposed to be thrown out about 5 years ago but at the last minute MrPG said it would be useful, has just left the building!

[Dutchie]

Hurrah PG! That sort of thing feels so good!

[Hazey_Jane]

A broken sofa hanging around in case it came in useful for 5 years? You are a saint PG to put up with that.

The first time moving to Germany in 1999 and I was unpacking our meager belongings, I found an empty 1995 pocket diary thing and was also told ‘it might come in handy’- it went in the bin the next day and was never spoken of again except during discussions like this.

[Squirrel]

Now that is satisfying, PG .

[Little My]

PG I'm glad it's gone finally!

[FiveO'Clock]

That must have been the easiest decluttering decision ever, PG!

I just went down to our basement and was reminded of how much sorting/decluttering I still have left to do.

I've been saving a good amount of $ by being more conscious of my purchasing, but it's a bit boring

[Morganna]

Today I cleared out the coffee table storage, and put a pile of colouring books and pens/pencils on the local recycling page. They were snapped up immediately, so I’ve split them into 2 lots - one’s going to a care home and the other to a youth centre.

Small steps, but it’s left me with some space for tidying other things away, so it’s all good.

[FiveO'Clock]

That's a good one, Morgs.

I found a large box of DVDs in our basement and remembered the care home where my grandmother stayed still has many dvd players. I donated all of the DVDs to them that my grandmother loved and had with her when she passed, but they are happy to take all of these as well. The ladies there still remember me and call me the granddaughter they wished they had , so I will bring the same cookies I'd always drop off to them that I (jokingly) claimed I made myself when we all knew it was the local bakery.

Decluttering can be emotionally draining for so many reasons.

[Lola]

That is so lovely, five