Counteracting the clutter in 2023

[Hazey_Jane]

And after trying to help out Cosmo, I took my own advice and went through my skincare drawers and chucked a lot of stuff out- mostly lip balms and hand creams that have been hanging around for ages. I do not need to buy any skincare products for my face or body till at least the middle of this year. Yes there was a little bit of guilt at throwing away things that have been barely used but knowing it’s gone feels so much freer and more satisfying

Next up is my make up drawer.

[Little My]

Well done. If you're not using it, it's just going to expire and be binned eventually anyway.

I got three bags of rubbish out, and four bags of containers for recycling today. My garage is looking happier already! Alas I have to wait until next week to put out all the paper recylcing.

Yesterday I tackled the small container on my dressing table where I had been putting 'important things' that needed to be dealt with or relocated, and had spilled into piles around said container. It wasn't so difficult to deal with in the end, and I got rid of the container because that obviously wasn't the best plan for me. All the talk of doom boxes reminded me I had essentially created a purpose-built one myself.

[FiveO'Clock]

Well done on the beauty products, Hazey and 7 bags, LM!

My family is coming over for Christmas Part Two tomorrow and my mom asked if she could bring some boxes of things for the family to look over before she donates or sells them. I had a look through my donation box too and broke the first rule by taking back a top I decided I now need for my trip to Scotland eight months from now but also found Mr5's nicest cashmere jumper that would have gone to charity had I not rooted through the box. He had taken it off and put it on top of the box instead of putting it away and I didn't notice and piled other things on top.

[Morganna]

:eek: That was close!

[Estrella]

I sorted through the kids wardrobes and drawers today and bagged up two bin bags full which I have already dropped off to charity.

Tomorrow is garden decluttering and taking all the fallen palm fronds to the dump.

[Hobbes]

I’m sort of decluttering, but what I mostly need to get rid of in this house isn’t my stuff.

Mr H has self diagnosed ADHD, and he claims youngest has it too. I’m convinced on him having it, but not so sure on her, although they both have terrible hoarding tendencies. Her room is awful, but she’s willing to accept some help, and I’m trying to help her get organised.

He’s a different matter though, and gets very huffy when I suggest a sort out. He has a tendency to fill any box or drawer that’s part of an organising strategy, and then never sort that are again, so stuff over spills with nowhere to go.

So any tips on dealing with a hoarding spouse welcome, or failing that, any suggestions on when it’s acceptable to just start binning other people’s stuff.

[Morganna]

I feel your pain, but I'm sorry to say that if M binned my stuff I would be really upset. Part of me would love to come home to find that by a miracle the clutter fairies had organised everything so that the things I really don't want had been disposed of and the necessaries were neatly arranged, but obviously that won't happen, and the thought of someone rummaging through my doom drawers/boxes/bags and deciding what is necessary and what isn't makes my blood run cold. I have a (very) vague idea of what is where, and someone 'organising' it is unlikely to work either. I don't hoard in the way that people on TV do - as in loads of old newspapers and out of date food, but I am disorganised so can never find things (eg I've just come across a bottle of Olbas Oil in a drawer in the bureau which otherwise has knitting bits and bobs in it (tape measures, scissors etc). There are old pairs of glasses waiting to go to the GP surgery for sending to Africa in another drawer. If you'd asked me to find either yesterday I wouldn't have known where they were, and would probably have got another bottle of Olbas if I'd needed it, so then there would be two to find homes for. I drive myself mad and it's my stuff, so I do understand your frustration.

Can you allocate him some space of his own that doesn't encroach on yours?

[Hobbes]

I feel your pain, but I'm sorry to say that if M binned my stuff I would be really upset. Part of me would love to come home to find that by a miracle the clutter fairies had organised everything so that the things I really don't want had been disposed of and the necessaries were neatly arranged, but obviously that won't happen, and the thought of someone rummaging through my doom drawers/boxes/bags and deciding what is necessary and what isn't makes my blood run cold. I have a (very) vague idea of what is where, and someone 'organising' it is unlikely to work either. I don't hoard in the way that people on TV do - as in loads of old newspapers and out of date food, but I am disorganised so can never find things (eg I've just come across a bottle of Olbas Oil in a drawer in the bureau which otherwise has knitting bits and bobs in it (tape measures, scissors etc). There are old pairs of glasses waiting to go to the GP surgery for sending to Africa in another drawer. If you'd asked me to find either yesterday I wouldn't have known where they were, and would probably have got another bottle of Olbas if I'd needed it, so then there would be two to find homes for. I drive myself mad and it's my stuff, so I do understand your frustration.

Can you allocate him some space of his own that doesn't encroach on yours?

I do understand that Morgs, I’m joking really about chucking his stuff out, but unlike you, I honestly don’t think he has the vaguest idea what is in some of these spaces!

He has been allocated lots of space of his own, similar to the space I have for my stuff really, but the problem is he never sorts or curates any of the stuff that’s in his space, so when he inevitably buys more stuff it spills out into the shared space. I’ll take some pictures to show you at some point if I can bear to show it!

[Hobbes]

…

[Luna]

I decluttered my tiny dressing table area. This was covered this morning and the drawer open as it wouldn’t shut due to amount shoved in it.

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[Squirrel]

MinimalMom is really good for people struggling to get rid of things. (Useful to anyone, not just people with kids.) She recently posted a mammoth video that takes you through her entire home as she revisits decluttering and re-explains many of her concepts. It also highlights that decluttering is more of an ongoing process than an end point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48rXxs5pgME

I’ve watched the whole thing now (whilst multitasking) and I really like this a lot. I already do a lot of the things that she says but she’s so much more straightforward and prescriptive, I think it’ll really help build on what I’ve been doing. She doesn’t agonise over tiny things . I’m getting a lot better at that.

Case in point, I like her phrase “the season we’re in”, as when we were clearing out my daughter’s room she’s got masses of hairbands and clips even though she hates doing anything with her hair for sensory reasons. Her chosen style is a bob that’s too short to put up in a ponytail. So I got rid of loads of clips and things from when she had longer hair, but still kept quite a lot “just in case” or for the future. I’ve now realised that we should ditch all of them.

[ParisGal]

MinimalMom is really good for people struggling to get rid of things. (Useful to anyone, not just people with kids.) She recently posted a mammoth video that takes you through her entire home as she revisits decluttering and re-explains many of her concepts. It also highlights that decluttering is more of an ongoing process than an end point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48rXxs5pgME

Thank you for this.

Like for Squirrel, her phrasing and attitudes really resonate with me, and the idea of a "time will tell" category will help a lot with the decision paralysis. Obviously I'm going to end up with the cellar / some part of the house filled with things we should have got rid of, but at least the daily areas should be better!

I've also just sent the tiny clip at about 48 minutes in to my brothers & SIL to show that I'm not the only one who thinks the state of our parents' houses is very detrimental to their mental health (=our ability to cope with them )

[Squirrel]

PG, I’ve just watched another one of her videos where she recommends doing this with “time will tell” items .

[ParisGal]

[Hazey_Jane]

Yes Squizz you should get rid of them all.

I am actually looking forward to going through my make up collection later and getting rid of things and stuff I just don’t use any more, thinking of the space it will generate

[Little My]

Yay, I thought MinimalMom might help. I was thinking about her 'time will tell bins' during that video. It seems like she must have them in most rooms. But I suppose realistically most of the things put in there will go.

My next mission is to gather anything from xmas that needs to be returned, and return it.

Also, I need to go through the freezer and pantry cupboards.

[Morganna]

I love that box

I'm still working on sorting the books . Still, I've done a few shelves, and I'm trying to concentrate on that, instead of the fact that I planned to do them all at the weekend.

I've also worked through a large doombag (Sainsbury's bag-for-life size) and binned at least 75% of the stuff inside. The rubbish included party streamers (??), one random mothball, dried out pens, a lolly stick, a couple of old remotes and more things I've forgotten. I salvaged a few bits that might come in useful (eg a pack of Post It notes and a pocket dictionary), and the rest is in the bin. I've promised to take some unwanted yarn to knitting group each week, too. Last time I got rid of nearly a kilo of chunky yarn that I would never get round to using, and I'll sort something out ready to take tomorrow, if I go. I might not, as the forecast is icy, but we'll see. A lot of the older members knit for charity, and are happy to use anything - if it's going to be a dog blanket or something it doesn't matter. It's slow progress, but it is progress, I suppose.

I mentioned a sideboard that went on FB? Well, there is another one to work through, too. I want to do that when M's not in, as he'll start hovering and claiming things if he sees me. I don't even know what's in it, so it can't be really important, and I'm hoping to get it done in a couple of hours if I can get rid of M for that long. Then I can decide whether to keep it or try to find someone else to claim it (the sideboard, not M). I doubt he'll go out tomorrow though, as he has Man Flu and a sore back. I was thinking it will fit under the stairs, and could usefully house shoes in the bottom and hats, scarves and gloves in the drawers - I'll see what I think when it's empty. It might look nice with a lamp or vase on top.

[Lola]

I like your thinking, Morgs I’m off work tomorrow & Mr L isn’t here so I’m going to take the opportunity to offload some unwanted Xmas presents to a charity shop

[Cerise]

Thinking I probably don’t need this anymore…

[lazzbo]

I dunno Cerise, no point being too hasty.