Time For A Change

[baargain]

Oh that is great, Lola! Now that is the reaction you want from a boss. I hope it all goes well with your mum.

Well, I have two weeks left! Everyone now knows, and the general conversation after people hear seems to be "shiiit, if Baa is off, then it must be really shit" and to be fair, it has just got worse and worse and worse at work, so I have timed this all exceedingly well. Almost everyone seems to be looking for other jobs, calls to the speak out guardian and HR are at record levels, and the senior leadership team are just doubling down and being exceedingly strange.

I did my exit interview, and it has been sent to the Head of HR who already knew a lot of the stuff going on (via the speak out lady and the general HR complaints). She's taken the themes out of my exit interview, and is discussing this (plus other feedback/concerns) with the boss of the head of the whole service we're a massive service in a massive NHS trust, so oh my lord I emailed the head of HR yesterday to offer to speak directly to her/the big big boss if they wanted to, so watch this space!

I'm half set up for private therapy life, I have a laptop, and a phone, and half a website I'm just waiting on my insurance to be sorted, got to line up a clinical supervisor, and then get myself out there on various registers and referral companies. I am visiting a local place that has rooms for various types of therapists tomorrow, I'm not sure what the f2f demand will be like, but it'll be good to have the option if I need it.

Hoooo.

[Princess Morripov]

You’ve got this, Baa!

[baargain]

I've already had people asking if they can pass me clients/their family and friends, my supervisor friends in the service are all recommending me to other therapists in the service who are looking to set up privately. I think I should be OK

[Beena]

I'm struggling and not sure whether I'm being over-sensitive or there is something deeper going on. I currently work with J and that is fine, we stay professional and have clear boundaries. He's recently accepted an offer with another organisation some distance away, but only an hour by train. It's a good move and I'm genuinely proud of him.

However, since the news broke, there is a general assumption that I'll leave too, with an implicit (and on occasion explicit) belief that it is unfair to expect J to make the commute.(I've had to bite my tongue several times - seriously an hour by train is unfair, but it's entirely reasonable that I'll give up my career and financial independence?). Of course, if an opportunity came up that I was interested in, I'd consider it, but that would have been the case regardless and surely would be the case for anyone?

Colleagues making assumptions is one thing; my line manager is something else. In the last week, there's been two slip ups in public where she's spoken about me as if I've already gone. In private, she's steered the conversation on 4 occasions to general musings about 'my progression' - all my transferable skills if I wanted to look outside the profession, vacancies that potentially might come up that I am not remotely qualified for or interested in, would we rent out the property or sell, perhaps x would be okay as a base as its commutable from y, how she might carve up my job in future - all just thinking aloud, you understand. My absolute favourite was being told that J is going to be so difficult to replace, but there are some really good people in the tier under me so she's less worried there.

I came home in tears most days last week and had a panic attack on the drive into work on Thursday.

[Marth]

That does sound very disquieting, Beena. Living in London (previously) an hour commute is nothing. It's sort of normal.

[Beena]

We made a 3 hour round trip everyday for 10 years before moving, so yes, it's nothing remarkable. J isn't worried by it.

I'm feeling blindsided, if I'm honest. There were no issues until J was offered the job, they're paying for staff development I asked for despite budgets being tight. I'm probably overthinking, but the comments are getting to me. You can only be told that you're leaving so many times before you realise no-one's asking you to stay.