Covid-19

[Beena]

My understanding is the 3 households supposed to be exclusive rather than a giant bubble Venn diagram? So if we bubbled with my parents AND with J's parents, neither would be able have our siblings as their 3rd household? Is that right?

We're not planning to see both sets of parents, but Bambs really wants to see my dad. They are in a bubble with my sister already as she helps with mum's care, but sis has a boyfriend so we'd be asking sis not to see him or him not to see his family.

I'm typing this, knowing full well it's going to some godawful free-for-all, where nobody pays any attention to the rules.

[Disco]

My understanding is the 3 households supposed to be exclusive rather than a giant bubble Venn diagram? So if we bubbled with my parents AND with J's parents, neither would be able have our siblings as their 3rd household? Is that right?

Yes, otherwise it's just a massive transmission link.

[viggy]

Existing bubbles count as one household though Beena, so you plus your parents & sis plus sis's bf makes three?

[Loralei]

Yes, works OK if you and your partner are only children

Or orphans :sali hughes:

I need to ask my sister if she wants to see us. They could still see one other household as my MIL is now in our support bubble and we're not desperate to see anyone else, but they might choose to shield my BIL as much as possible and not see anyone. I'd be ok with that; sad but ok. I love Christmas but so much has changed over the last few years that I feel better able to roll with this one. If my mum were alive or we couldn't see my MIL I would feel very differently, so I'm not oblivious to other's difficulties, but our family suddenly seems tiny.

[Loralei]

Existing bubbles count as one household though Beena, so you plus your parents & sis plus sis's bf makes three?

But then the boyfriend couldn't see his family.

Unless you have a unit of parents and two adult children who are single, then it seems like someone has to be the nucleus and choose two households, even if those two aren't likely to have chosen each other as their second.

[Texaco Shirley]

We had already assumed we wouldn’t see SIL this year, I don’t think that will change. Otherwise we are in a support bubble with my mum anyway so I think it will just be us.

[Beena]

Existing bubbles count as one household though Beena, so you plus your parents & sis plus sis's bf makes three?

But then the boyfriend couldn't see his family.

Yes. It's complicated and I'm probably overthinking things.

It takes us around 7 hours to drive up to my parents - on a good day, with no traffic - and we'd have to stay in a hotel. Mum has dementia and can only manage about 30 minutes with us at a time so we do a morning visit and an afternoon one. We haven't seen them since January as they went into Tier 3 before we had chance. Mum doesn't leave the house and dad doesn't leave mum so meeting outside their home was never an option. My dad is really lonely. I don't know how often he sees my sister - maybe once a week. Bambs is their only grandchild and my dad practically raised her. He's her favourite person in the whole world.

Sis lost her husband at Christmas a few years ago. Circumstances were such that she needed counselling for PTSD for quite a while afterwards. She struggles with festivities and usually goes away for the anniversary of his death, which won't happen this year. She started seeing her bf autumn last year. He has kids from a previous relationship and is a very sociable bloke. It's a massive ask for her not to see him. Or him not to see his family.

[Rhodonite]

Beena, I'm so sorry, I took so long to actually post, that I missed your reply. I really hope you can get to meet up with family. All of this is so hard.

I need help with this.

If family B meets family A and C (on different days), does that mean family D can't meet family A, because family B has already met the 3 family rule?

I'm trying to work out if I can meet my parents, if they've met one of my sisters and my sister has met her inlaws.

[smalex]

Thats right. There can be no family D for anyone in your Bubble at any point, even if all seen separately

[sally maclennane]

Urgh, my younger brother messaged me last night to ask what I was thinking about re Christmas. He then said that he and SIL had decided they'd stay at home. Ok, good for you, so I guess it's down to me and older brother to support Mum then? This is typical of him. He went on to say that he didn't think any of us should be going to mum's but maybe she could come to one of us. I asked him how that was different? He couldn't really say but admitted that (like me) he is worried about her mental health.

I am truly torn on this - J obviously wants to go and see his kids and I can't stop him doing that. That uses up one household though, so if we go to my mum's, it means my older brother can't come too. If he goes, then J and I would have to stay at home. Is that right?

[Rhodonite]

Thank you. I just need to make sure I'm right when I have this discussion! I can't trust my sister to stick to the rules, so I think we're going to go it alone this year.

[smalex]

More than that, if Js kids also see their mum, then she is part of your Bubble too, Sal.

[smalex]

Oh, actually maybe not if they all live together, but anyone they also chose to see would be 'in' your Bubble

[sally maclennane]

More than that, if Js kids also see their mum, then she is part of your Bubble too, Sal.

They live with their mum, so that won't be the case, I don't think?

[indigo]

It's all so confusing. But they've missed a trick too because they should have called it a Christmas Bauble.

[Ella77]

He went on to say that he didn't think any of us should be going to mum's but maybe she could come to one of us. I asked him how that was different? He couldn't really say

That is such a weird distinction! Sounds like a way to ensure he's not "made" to tag along to hers.

[smalex]

More than that, if Js kids also see their mum, then she is part of your Bubble too, Sal.

They live with their mum, so that won't be the case, I don't think?

Yeah I realised after, see above, but who else are they seeing?

[sally maclennane]

He went on to say that he didn't think any of us should be going to mum's but maybe she could come to one of us. I asked him how that was different? He couldn't really say

That is such a weird distinction! Sounds like a way to ensure he's not "made" to tag along to hers.

I have no idea but she won't leave my SD at home anyway as I pointed out to him. I think he knows that but possibly feels that offering to host her somehow gets him off the hook?

[Ruby]

I actually don't see how this is going to work, usefully, for anyone. People are just going to wildly misinterpret it to mean whatever they want it to mean.

[sally maclennane]

More than that, if Js kids also see their mum, then she is part of your Bubble too, Sal.

They live with their mum, so that won't be the case, I don't think?

Yeah I realised after, see above, but who else are they seeing?

That's what I need him to check, his ex in laws normally come along but they are quite elderly and frail and J thinks they may opt to stay at home.