The Mock Turtle

I don’t think I’d be quite this upset if it weren’t for the extra layer of cardiac stuff. A lot of this isolation really reminds me of when we had to keep Pete away from everything and everyone when we were waiting for her to get big enough to have surgery. It’s just bringing it all back but it’s not just us anymore. It’s the whole actual world. I’ve just felt really bleak all day and I’ve been doing really well until now to keep it together.

Thank you for listening anyway. I will stop moaning now.

If it helps to let it out, talk about it as much as you want. It's totally justifiable to complain about.

It is hard on everyone but its especially hard for people experiencing the highs and lows of life. I'm sorry Cloof. Its really so unfair

It's not moaning, this is a huge thing to have to deal with.

I do feel better for saying it now. Thanks chaps. I can’t let myself wallow though. Poor Pete had a very boring day while I was so miserable and distracted today, and I also argued with A this morning and instead of screaming obscenities and racing to flounce off, we had to apologise to each other like grownups instead.

cluefree wrote: ↑Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:13 pm I also argued with A this morning and instead of screaming obscenities and racing to flounce off, we had to apologise to each other like grownups instead.

The strain of having to act like a grown-up all the time because of this might actually kill me. Either that or I will actually turn into .

cluef, it's all shite.

Oh Cluef. It’s just not what anyone (including Sabrina) would want.

My hospital is completely closed to all visitors except for those patients at the very end of life.

zooms! I just kept thinking what a good example we were setting for Pete, and how fucking unsatisfying it was at the same time.

Oh Pip.

Cluef it’s totally understandable, you poor things. I had a cry for my pregnant friend today, she’s got a load of stuff going on and this is such unfair timing. Sending you all the boring grown up love in the world.

I saw a couple of people with pushchairs in the park this afternoon and felt really sorry for people who are having to keep newborns away from grandparents. They will change so much in 12 weeks.

My step sisters in law have a 5 month old and a 4week old between them, we've not met the 4 week old, I think my step FIL has only seen him twice. Its really weird to think theyll be so much older by the next time anyone can see them.

I have to say I think I'd have been in a very dark situation without the physical support of my close family in those early days. The toll of this so massive

Cluef, that sounds so fucking awful, please moan as much as you like! This might not be helpful for the cardiac issues but if you want to find out the sex together, could you get your sonographer to write it down and you take it home and open it together? Sorry, I'm clutching at straws trying to help, I think.

And YES to the strain of being kind. T and I are being SO kind to each other and, in addition to that, the rest of my energy is put into being upbeat and positive for the boys. What a fun adventure! The things we can do! We're so lucky to have all this time together, aren't we boys?! God, its exhausting. I had to cry in the fridge the other day. Then my best friend put her daughter on the line to cheer me up but I immediately cried then so I've managed to scare a child that doesn't even fucking live with me! I want to wail and shout and sit in miserable silence but I cant. I'm also finding on my up days that I'm going completely hyper and need to reign myself in. This is exhausting.

I'm sorry its been so hard, you're so much further through it than most of us.
I felt today was positive and quite tolerable but its day 2 and its lovely and sunny and I keep telling myself it's not representative.

I think (or at least I thought earlier today) that I'm just about turning a corner. I don't have that horrible dawning realisation in the morning anymore, it is all starting to sink in. And the 'home schooling' has found a little routine - basically, we're VERY lax. The boys have to do something educational in the morning and then again in the afternoon. So far that is doing a couple of assignments from school, nothing more. Theo in particular is getting a lot out of it. F is just bored. But they also have to start the day the same way every day; after dressed/teeth brushed etc we start with exercise before anything else. The last two days it has been Joe Wicks. They 'warm up' on the trampoline first We have lunch at the same time and dinner at the same time and everything else gets decided by how we feel.

The weather has hugely helped today. I think time will help more, too.

OH! And I'm not getting out of bed till 9.30am at the earliest and I don't give a shit how lazy this makes me. It's actually brilliant. The boys are allowed their devices before then so they feel like they're really getting a treat whereas its only so I can sleep in and it's great. Being at home all the time does at least suit my body-clock.

Yes, those surges of dawning horror have abated a bit. The home school thing is a novelty for everyone. I'm not sweating the actual quality of the learning but I think everyone is pleased to have some rhythm to the day at least.

Omg. The strain of being kind. My therapists are being kind to people going through a shit time, while going through that same shit time themselves. Then I have to be kind to them (and my own clients).

I listened to a podcast by a man talking about the psychological impact on communities of pandemics, and he said the majority of people do adjust (as best they can) and find a rhythm/way to cope. I just need to work out a way to help those who don't. I guess that is my job now. Hahahhaaaaaa

Prince Charles has it

Funny how famous people with mild symptoms seem to get tested (I know they're probably paying, but that shouldn't be allowed).