Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

[Bat Macdui]

NOT Sacha Baron-Cohen. For those who might not know, Simon Baron-Cohen is a leading autism researcher at Cambridge University. He pioneered the 'extreme male brain' theory of autism (autistic people just like numbers, and lining things up) and the autistic people don't have empathy idea and pioneered the AQ test and the Empathy Test, still used today, that work out if you're autistic by asking if you've ever cut a worm in half. Anyway, because he's led research for so long, there's an awful lot of women and girls who have been missed. And an awful lot of misplaced stereotypes out there about autistic people. Sheldon, anyone?

Anyway. I was diagnosed as autistic in April. It's been an utter, incredible relief. I have spent a lifetime thinking I was weird, mad, batshit and at one point, was seriously concerned I might be a sociopath. (Incidentally, Pov, I DEMAND you make me some kind of coming out cake that has 'not actually a sociopath' iced onto the top of it). :lol:

And being undiagnosed, and not understanding myself, also meant I have had an absolute bugger of a time being a recovering alcoholic. I ended up drinking a fuck of lot because it made socialising vastly easier (and other thing, but that's a very long story) then I ended up in the two litres of vodka a day alcoholic category, rather than the bottle of wine a night and still holding down a job 'functioning' one. I did detox/rehab six years ago (the more perspicacious of you have worked this one out, I bet). CBT doesn't really work with autistic people, really as you can't change the way you think when you're hard wired to rigid thinking patterns and a bit of a black and white view of the world. *sigh* BUT! I have an excellent therapist now and am having a really exciting time (genuinely, it's like lovely little bursts of Road to Damascus revelations) working shit out.

I am telling you all this because I am a bit fed up of hiding, and pretending to be things I am not. There have been times I've nearly typed 'oh and I am off to recovery group tonight' in general chat then realised this might be a bit of a surprise for some people. :lol: And also, because I am starting to think I have found my life's mission, which it to shout from the fucking rooftops abut the lack of diagnosis for women and girls and how much easier life would be for a lot of people if we didn't think autistic people were all Sheldon, or the lovely lad from A Curious Incident. I have a rant about autism and work class women I'd be pleased to get out on request, though, as an autistic, do expect me to continue on even well after your eyes have completely glazed over and you've gone off for a brew with someone less obsessive. :))

I am more than happy to answer questions. (I feel a bit like like I have just given a conference presentation to the floor now). Crack on. Don't get too touchy feely on me, though.

[smalex]

I had no idea! (other than realising there were some Very Hard Times in Cumbria and with the marriage ending). You hide being an alcohol dependent autistic really well :lol:
I am sorry it's been so hard :notahug:. My sister bangs on about women with autism all the time, and how un-diagnosed it is. I think one of my close (I've known her since we were 11) friends is probably autistic, although I don't think she realises herself. Just thinking it to myself has made some aspects of her personality much easier to understand, IYSWIM.

Anyway. I hope you're ok and stuff.

[Ella]

I would be very interested in your rant if you feel like delivering it. I’m glad things are looking up for you.


(^ Not being touchy-feely. Not that I know how :)).)

[Angus]

I had no idea either. Certainly not about being alcohol dependant anyway.

My brother's girlfriend was diagnosed as autistic a while ago and it's been a great relief for her. And it also allowed us to understand some of the stuff she did a bit better and it made everyone's life a bit easier.

Anyway, I'm sorry it's been a bit shit for you and I hope it's not so much now.

[bramblerose]

Eeh chuck and there's me been foisting myself on you all this time

Obviously I (we) knew some but not all. I'm glad you're getting help and that things are looking up.

[Derek Nimmo]

Yes, I too would be very interested in your rant.

I'm sorry you've struggled so hard to get help, and how bloody wearying it must have been to feel so out of step with the rest of the world and have to work so hard to mask it all the time.

Ps Simon B-C is Sacha's Dad didyouknow?

[Smunder Woman]

He really can, the twat.

With Bats' permission, I am piggybacking on to tell you all that I'm (early) in the diagnosis process too. My PhD research (autism related), has already taken a bit of a different turn :))

I can confirm Bats' rants are excellent too.

[Kenickie]

I thought he was his uncle?

I'm sorry it's been so hard but I'm really pleased for you that you've got a good therapist and a proper diagnosis must be such a relief. Have a non touching wave of celebration. ;)

[Cerise]

My thoughts are the same as smal’s. :))

I think there is a definite shift in the diagnosis of girls and the realisation that girls can have ASD too. My friend’s nine year old got diagnosed about a year ago. It might have come earlier but it was thought that her problems were all related to speech issues but once that began to level, it became clear that there was something else.

From a nosey place, I’d really like to know in what way it makes you feel different. How do you feel you operate differently to others, if that makes sense?

[Derek Nimmo]

I thought he was his uncle?

You're right! I can only apologise for trying to spread this fake news.

[Bat Macdui]

Smunder. :highfive:

Sacha is Simon's cousin, I think.

Thank you. I will do rant and Cerise's question at some point, but I'm a bit emotionally exhausted from typing that out and need more coffee. :)) Plus, I also need to find Bean's gas stove.

[Squirrel]

Bloody hell Bats you’ve been thorough so much, I had no idea. I’m so glad to hear things are improving. I want to shout WELL DONE! at you for some reason.

[Beena]

I had no idea either. Sorry things have been so rough. It must be a relief to get a diagnosis.

I'm also really glad you posted. I have a niggling suspicion that one of the students is autistic. She has a dyslexia diagnosis, but I do wonder if that is muddying the water and she isn't getting the support she needs. I've been quite worried about her. Some of what you posted makes an awful lot of sense of things.

[smartiecat]

I would also be very interested in hearing your rant.

The more I learn, the angrier I get about this. My best friend’s daughter (10) is fairly recently diagnosed and it’s bern watching the shitty time she’s had getting to this point and the lack of support and understanding as she doesn’t present as a male with ASD might.

[viggy]

I had no idea! (other than realising there were some Very Hard Times in Cumbria and with the marriage ending). You hide being an alcohol dependent autistic really well :lol:

All of this! I hope you feel a weight has been lifted by telling us, and I'm sorry you had to go through such tough times to get to this point.

I would also be interested in your rant when the time comes

[Rebel Pebble]

Blimey Bats. What a time of it you've had but I'm glad things are clearer and better for you now.

I'd be very interested in your rant and the differences in how ASD presents in women and what cerise asked too.

[Estrella]

I had no idea! (other than realising there were some Very Hard Times in Cumbria and with the marriage ending). You hide being an alcohol dependent autistic really well :lol:

All of this! I hope you feel a weight has been lifted by telling us, and I'm sorry you had to go through such tough times to get to this point.

I would also be interested in your rant when the time comes

This. All of this. I’m glad you are in a better place now, mate.

[mojojojo]

I had no idea about any of it. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a bad time, for so long.

Very well done for “coming out”. I can imagine how draining just doing that was.

I’m also very interested in hearing more: the Rant, what Cerise asked, and also anything you’re happy to share about what you’ve learned about “coping”. Sorry if that’s a clumsy word.

I think you’re an excellent person, other than having made me cry this morning. :unabletofollowinstructions:

[baargain]

I also hadn't worked anything out :)) I'm glad it's making sense though!

[Smunder Woman]

Bats' rant got delivered almost word for word to my GP recently, who asked what was the point of a diagnosis when I've gotten to 36 fine :ella: