Dementia again

[Texaco Shirley]

Thanks absley that is a helpful analogy. She’s 2 hours away from me so not easy to just drop in. She has good neighbours but not close friends nearby. I ask her every time I phone about the hot water now I know it’s an issue. It is something I could talk her through on the phone. She seems reluctant to move full stop. We have both tried every angle to persuade her but I think she would need to be told by someone with medical authority.

I think we do need to do the medical POA as well. We’re just trying not to overwhelm her with too much at once.

[Kenickie]

I'm sorry, Tex. It must be doubly difficult with not being close by.

[Faddy]

My mum's memory is becoming a problem. I ended up making the appointment for her and accompanying her but she does recognise it as a problem so I had her agreement . It took a while to get her on board. She's in the system now but the wait times are so long

[Faddy]

My mum's memory is becoming a problem. I ended up making the appointment for her and accompanying her but she does recognise it as a problem so I had her agreement . It took a while to get her on board. She's in the system now but the wait times are so long

[Texaco Shirley]

As I mentioned elsewhere she turned up a day early on the bus again. Luckily I was trying to phone her to make sure the bus ticket had arrived in the post and when I couldn’t get an answer realised what might have happened. Then on Saturday morning she’d packed her case to leave thinking it was Monday.

Anyway she has grudgingly agreed to let me make a GP appointment for her (which I will go along to).

[Texaco Shirley]

We had the GP appointment today. The memory test went even more badly than I expected. The GP has taken bloods and is doing a referral to the memory clinic.

[Marth]

I'm sorry, Tex. It's good that she can get some support though hopefully. There are lots of aids and tech that can help people stay independent at home.

[Texaco Shirley]

I think the familiarity of home probably is helping.

[Glint]

I'm sorry Tex. I hope the referral comes through quickly and a plan can be put in place.

[Derek Nimmo]

I'm so sorry Tex, but hopefully she'll be able to be independent for a while yet.

[olive]

I’m sorry, Tex. How did your mum take it? Was it a surprise to her?

[Topcat]

I'm sorry, mate. x

[Texaco Shirley]

I’m sorry, Tex. How did your mum take it? Was it a surprise to her?

She didn’t say much about it really. She wasn’t convinced there was any problem before but the gp was quite blunt about the fact that the memory test hadn’t gone well. Hopefully a medical professional saying it will help her accept there’s an issue.

[Mountain Goat]

Oh, I'm sorry. x

She will benefit from being at home, and honestly, they will do everything they can to allow her to stay there as long as possible, to a point of fault.

[kiwi]

I'm sorry Tex, I hope she (and you) get good support.

[Rosa]

I'm so sorry, and hope you can find a way to manage things.

[speedy gonzalez]

I'm sorry but yes try and get poa as soon as you can. Mr Speedy's aunt went downhill so quick he had to do deputyship instead and that's far more difficult. The Alzheimers UK forums are brilliant. Total lifesaver especially when there's so little support after diagnosis. When Mr Speedy's aunt got her diagnosis we expected NHS support to kick in but there was nothing. At the moment it's treated as a social condition rather than a medical one.
When we realised things we getting beyond our abilities, adult social care were great. I think the phrase vulnerable adult at high risk did the trick.
They arranged carers to come in three times a day. They gave us a tracking keyring and several other useful things. Social services get knocked a lot but they really helped us.
Again because of the speed of her decline she eventually started declining the carers help and we had to find a care home at short notice. Because she was self-funding social services couldn't help but they did provide us with a list of care homes with vacancies. Went to one and it was so depressing but luckily we found one brilliant one that had vacancies. They had loads of activities for the residents(not the traditional sort you'd expect either), lovely home cooked food and it felt like a family home. The first few weeks were a nightmare but she ended up loving it there.
I know ours was probably a worst case situation so please don't assume the same thing will happen to your mum.

[Texaco Shirley]

Thanks speedy, that’s helpful. I already have financial POA but not the healthcare one and at least the GP will talk to me directly which should help.

[speedy gonzalez]

We never had the healthcare one as apparently it was really difficult to get. Any healthcare issues at the care home or hospital they always involved Mr Speedy anyhow so didn't really miss having it.

[Texaco Shirley]

That’s useful to know, maybe it won’t be necessary if my details are already on her GP notes.