Dementia again
- sally maclennane
- Posts: 49242
- Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:01 pm
Re: Dementia again
My dad had one and my mum and SD have just had one fitted. They both lived in blocks of flats so they were inside, although my mum has one outside too. Hers is quite well shielded and you can't see it well, it's beside a downpipe which hides it. I think they are generally a good idea.
Christ on a bendy bus son, don't be such a fucking faff arse
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
I’ve just spoken to them, they’re going to put it on the inside of the front wall so it’ll be low down rather than eye level and not visible from the street.
-
- Posts: 20845
- Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:40 pm
Re: Dementia again
My neighbours have one tucked around the side due to having four children aged 11-18 and lots of forgotten keys!
- Pippedydeadeye
- Directory Pipquiries
- Posts: 89747
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:15 pm
Re: Dementia again
My parents have one because of my brother being an idiot.
Most holiday homes I’ve stayed at have them too, often quite prominently. I don’t think they’re hugely risky items and the benefits outweigh it.
Most holiday homes I’ve stayed at have them too, often quite prominently. I don’t think they’re hugely risky items and the benefits outweigh it.
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
My mum’s neighbour just phoned to let me know she’d been in the front garden with a bunch of flowers. She said my Nan had given them to her. I have no idea where she got them but quite likely robbed off a grave. Gah.
-
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 2:19 pm
Re: Dementia again
Oh Tex, it's so tough for you. If it's any consolation these days we laugh about M's mum knocking on strangers doors asking for a sandwich, imagining the horror on their faces, but at the time it was terrifying wondering where she was and what she was up to.
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
I had a phone call from my mum’s neighbour today asking if she was staying with us as the carers hadn’t got any response morning or evening. I was just listening to the voicemail and starting to panic when they texted to say she was back. When I spoke to her she said she’d had a nice long walk with her brother which would be lovely if he hadn’t been dead for 21 years.
-
- Posts: 49598
- Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 11:28 pm
Re: Dementia again
Oh dear Tex, it must be so worrying.
-
- Posts: 34886
- Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2005 12:59 pm
Re: Dementia again
Oh Tex. It sounds so hard.
-
- Posts: 29801
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 8:59 pm
Re: Dementia again
It's so shit Tex, again I know there's nothing anyone can say to make it better but you have all my sympathies.
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
Thank you all, it does help to be able to brain dump occasionally.
- sally maclennane
- Posts: 49242
- Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:01 pm
Re: Dementia again
Oh Tex, how worrying, like Del says, there's nothing that can really help but know that we are all here for you.
Christ on a bendy bus son, don't be such a fucking faff arse
- Lily
- Picker-Lily
- Posts: 52998
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 10:28 am
- Location: The Wilds
Re: Dementia again
Tex, I don't know what to say. It is so horrible. The only saving grace maybe is that she seems to be quite happy.
"You first have to find out who you are. Then you have to be it like mad."
My blog, if you are bored
My blog, if you are bored
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
My mum this evening was very worried because my dad had gone out this morning and still wasn’t back. Someone (possibly me) might have gone with him. I had no idea what to say.
- Marth
- Posts: 46248
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:11 am
- Location: London - but not by the sea. Nowhere near it in fact.
Re: Dementia again
It's so hard, Tex. With my grandma I used to make non committal noises about how that must have bene stressful etc, and then try and distract to something else if she seemed a bit fixated on a subject (like waiting for her dad to come and get her)Texaco Shirley wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:40 pm My mum this evening was very worried because my dad had gone out this morning and still wasn’t back. Someone (possibly me) might have gone with him. I had no idea what to say.
We had some lovely Dementia training for carers where I used to work and I sat in on some sessions. One part really stuck with me. I'll try and find it.
Malan
-
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 2:19 pm
Re: Dementia again
Yes, we were advised not to disagree but do as Marth says, pacify and then change the subject.
- Texaco Shirley
- Posts: 42241
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 3:21 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dementia again
That’s my usual approach but I’m worried she might go out looking for him. On the other hand I didn’t want to tell her he was dead over the phone in case it came as a shock.Marth wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:43 pmIt's so hard, Tex. With my grandma I used to make non committal noises about how that must have bene stressful etc, and then try and distract to something else if she seemed a bit fixated on a subject (like waiting for her dad to come and get her)Texaco Shirley wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:40 pm My mum this evening was very worried because my dad had gone out this morning and still wasn’t back. Someone (possibly me) might have gone with him. I had no idea what to say.
Thank you.
We had some lovely Dementia training for carers where I used to work and I sat in on some sessions. One part really stuck with me. I'll try and find it.
- Kleio
- Posts: 33166
- Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 10:14 pm
Re: Dementia again
I’ve had dementia training and was told to agree and distract. So in that instance you tell them he told you he was going to x,y,z then talk about the weather or something.
It must be so hard and frightening at times Tex.
It must be so hard and frightening at times Tex.
- Marth
- Posts: 46248
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:11 am
- Location: London - but not by the sea. Nowhere near it in fact.
Re: Dementia again
I do sympathise. It is so difficult knowing what to say. My grandma used to go out and look for her dad. She would pack all her things and wait for him. I would just say, "It's ok, he's be back, don't worry, he'll be back" , Sometimes it would work, but sometimes she would remain anxious.Texaco Shirley wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:46 pmThat’s my usual approach but I’m worried she might go out looking for him. On the other hand I didn’t want to tell her he was dead over the phone in case it came as a shock.Marth wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:43 pmIt's so hard, Tex. With my grandma I used to make non committal noises about how that must have bene stressful etc, and then try and distract to something else if she seemed a bit fixated on a subject (like waiting for her dad to come and get her)Texaco Shirley wrote: ↑Sat Nov 21, 2020 6:40 pm My mum this evening was very worried because my dad had gone out this morning and still wasn’t back. Someone (possibly me) might have gone with him. I had no idea what to say.
Thank you.
We had some lovely Dementia training for carers where I used to work and I sat in on some sessions. One part really stuck with me. I'll try and find it.
My mum is starting to show signs and I feel nothing but overwhelming anxiety about it.
It's the bookcase analogy. This does go on a bit, but I found it quite comforting in a strange way, that it was ok to be in their world (obviously not practical all the time)
https://dementiapartnerships.com/resour ... e-analogy/
Malan
- Marth
- Posts: 46248
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:11 am
- Location: London - but not by the sea. Nowhere near it in fact.
Re: Dementia again
Also you are probably aware of the Alzheimer's Society but I think their website, helpline workers and forum is really good. The CEO was a right tosser....
I signpost a lot of carers there.
I signpost a lot of carers there.
Malan