Couples paying less than singles

[Rhodonite]

In our family, buying presents for children has been different for all our relatives. Some stopped buying for us at 18, some at 21, and I have 1 aunt on my Mum's side and an Uncle on my Dad's side that still get us Christmas presents (I'm 32 and my sisters are 35 and 36). I suspect this may stop now that we (me and my eldest sister) have our own family).

[cluefree]

I am astounded at freeloading couples in rounds.

[sally maclennane]

I am astounded at freeloading couples in rounds.

"So that's one Bacardi Breezer and two straws for you guys"

[cluefree]

[Mountain Goat]

I have stumbled across this couple-rounds thing. Some of Mr G's friends used to implement it, because the little lady wouldn't be buying a round, surely. The same ones that owed me some money for something and wrote out a cheque to Mr Goat. Fucking pricks.

[Tess]

The same ones that owed me some money for something and wrote out a cheque to Mr Goat. Fucking pricks.

I beg your pardon? Do what now?

[Mountain Goat]

I KNOW! I think they assumed that my money must be owned by him. The bloke in question is an overbearing dickhead with a shuffling, meek wife and feral children. Actually he once told me off for not keeping an eye on his children. When ALL OF US were walking down the same street. As a woman, I suppose I am more responsible for making sure his children don't run into the road than he is as their father.

[nineseven]

I hope Mr G is no longer friends with him!

[Mountain Goat]

He never really was, massively - he was just in that circle of friends and came to some group things, but Mr G would never have seen him of his own accord. I don't think any of them have seen the prize prick for years now.

[Livilla]

Actually he once told me off for not keeping an eye on his children.

OMFG! What an arse!

[Kenickie]

He sounds awful.

This isn't the same at all, but for some reason it's reminded me of when MIL really annoyed me when I started this job about six months ago, and she commented "oooh, I bet P will be glad you're finally earning now". a) Prior to this job, I had been working full-time for a year b) Prior to that, I'd been doing a fully-funded PhD so actually earning the same as when I had a full-time job before the PhD. P hadn't just been paying for me to sit round watching telly for several years.

I couldn't respond, however, as I'd already used up that day's quota of objecting to her comments by suggesting that it wasn't really a 'mum's role' to make packed lunches for her husband and secondary age children and a woman who didn't do this wasn't cruel.

More OT, P and I used to have to buy for two lots of BIL, SIL, and 2 nephews. SIL1 decided that this was unfair, so said we should just buy for the kids, and not the adults, and the two families would buy for us. However, BIL2 and SIL2 decided they still wanted presents. Then they decided it was kids only a few years back, which would be fine, but that means that we buy for the nephews and no-one gets us anything. :tinyviolin: I'm not really bothered, but it does seem quite unfair on P. So we're now going to have 15 kids to get our own back.

[smalex]

. So we're now going to have 15 kids to get our own back.

Massive false economy

[Kenickie]

As long as they're financially worse off too. ;)

[ParisGal]

My friend's ILs and her brother have all sprogged at about the same time so they went from zero nephews and nieces to 10 in the space of 4 or 5 years The ILs have a "buy for the youngest generation in each family" rule which seems fair enough I suppose. Any kind of one way arrangement is mind boggling.

The only time I can remember having anything officially organised was when we decided a few years ago that we would do "everyone spends £5 on each other person who will be there on Christmas day". That year it was my dad & his wife, my brother & his gf, me and MrPG, and my other brother. There was a mixture of £10 presents from a couple, and £5 presents, and it worked out very well. I think that sort of thing only really works when the budget is very low though. All the present politics with divorced parents, ILs, and MrPG requiring precise instructions has pretty much put me off presents all together now though.

[sally maclennane]

I probably do lose out a bit, in that I spend a fair whack on the kids at Christmas and birthdays, but that's my choice. I ask for ideas of toys etc and then I usually buy them something to wear too. I buy my brothers and SILs a joint present - usually DVDs or something, and they always buy me a few presents, including a gift from the kids. My mum spends more on me because she buys for brothers, SILs and kids so that is nice. My family are fairly good about this stuff.

I do buy for my best friend's daughter, again through choice. My friend has said a few times that I shouldn't feel obliged but L is like a niece to me, and I don't spend a lot.

I used to buy for my cousin's son who is my godson, and I also bought for his younger brother. I stopped when they were 18 though, I hardly ever see them or my cousin. My cousin used to buy me a present for them, usually a bottle of fizz or a voucher, but then she started buying me Oxfam goats which for some reason really pissed me off :charityminded:

[smalex]

My MIL's friend buys W presents, shes ridiculous excessive about it. He just got a belated birthday present and its a Ted Baker shirt, Ted Baker jeans, and 3 Cars models. Every birthday and christmas is like this. I've only ever met her twice. We don't reciprocate in any way (except to send a thank you, obviously, and to send christmas cards, which we would anyway). MIL has suggested several times on our behalf that it stops, but to no avail. I hope she's not on a forum somewhere complaining about us

[ParisGal]

How strange, smal!

[smalex]

She does it with everyone, apparently, its not exclusive to us. She must spend £100? a year on gifts for her friend's grandson, who she has met once.

[Zoomer]

Oxfam goats is such a passive-aggressive shite present.

We have a "only children and oldies " rule in my family,which means we buy presents for my niece and my parents only. And my parents tend to get me practical presents (they paid for the glass in our new veranda this year) so I don't really get any presenty presents. That's fine with me though, as I am really awkward to buy for anyway.

[sally maclennane]

Oxfam goats is such a passive-aggressive shite present.

I was disproportionately annoyed by it. I think it's fine if both parties have agreed or if someone has specifically asked for charity gifts but this wasn't the case. I can imagine the reaction if I'd bought them for her teenagers!