The Mock Turtle

lazzbo wrote: ↑Thu Nov 25, 2021 1:52 pm Emma says in one episode "that she couldn't be a nicer person". Mmm-hmmmm.

I just watched that bit. Self-praise is no praise, Emma.

I mean, technically anyone can wear a bikini straight after giving birth but… *looks down at self*

I can't wear one at any time. Honestly, it's like she faked the pregnancy!

Too right, Zooms.

Christine is a robot.

Vanessa is boring, but I like seeing homes in Malibu!

I've watched the first two episodes so far, and I think the Emma situation will explode nicely. So glad she could tear herself away from her other incredibly successful businesses. ;)

Vanessa's view of Emma's food business is priceless (and 100% correct).

Little My wrote: ↑Thu Nov 25, 2021 3:11 pm So glad she could tear herself away from her other incredibly successful businesses. ;)

I thought this. I’m SO SUCCESSFUL!!! But yes, I do also want a job.

I am consumed by the puzzle of Christine’s pregnancy. I was grudgingly convinced by her weepy performance that yes, she really did have an actual pregnancy and baby, but the yoga poses fucking baffled me.* Why even bother, except to troll everyone? And she’s another one whose inclusion in the series just shows her up. She very clearly doesn’t need the money, but I think being in it for the fame isn’t the superior position she thinks it is.

I love it though. LOVVVE IT. I didn’t think Mary looked well. I think Emma has devised a way to obtain nutrition exclusively via occasional wafting of cucumbers near her person. I think Heather will be gutted that she and her beau managed to get less screen time than the dogs. I don’t want any of them to change.

*Of course I think you can do yoga after having a baby, especially if you’re experienced at it or other core strengthening pursuits, but literally bending over backwards with a deep incision following recent and major abdominal surgery? Really?

Robot, I tells ya.

It certainly takes some deep dedication to be that thin, and perfectly veneered all the time. I, demonstrably, couldn't do it.

Heather is taking the marriage thing VERY seriously, and is turning into a much older character from a soap opera as far as I can make out.

I love it toooooo!!!

I hadn't even thought about her post-partum exercise. Surely she's not MEANT to be doing that?

Imagine making empanadas and never getting to eat them. There's no sadder thought in the world. I might get some and eat some tonight, just because I can.

I also love it and apparently season five starts early next year. THIS IS WHAT WE NEED IN JANUARY OR FEBRUARY, FRIENDS!

I don't get why Christine advertises any old tat on her Instagram page either. Her husband is a billionaire, no!?

So Christine did a Katie Holmes, right? There’s no way that tummy had a baby growing in it!

There's no way she had a c-section either.

Is Heather still a vegan?

RIGHT? Re: the pregnancy. The advice even for non emergency section is don’t exercise for 6-8 weeks, ideally 12. Nothing to do with your core or your body snapping back or whatever, just - massive incision through several layers of skin needs extended rest time to knit back together properly. It was actually the way she sat down next to Vanessa when she visited in the first 2(?) weeks - she sat down so comfortably and quickly when she rushed over to her, it just couldn’t be a post-section body. I’m frowning as I type this as I find it so confusing. Why fake it? But if you’re going to fake it, then why immediately stop faking once the baby arrives?!

Also, she did a Playboy cover with a huge naked bump which would’ve needed the complicity of outside people to pull off. Did they bribe and use NDAs? Whyyyy? Someone help me

Heather's been on screen for about 4 minutes and I'm eight episodes in.

She used to like to tell people she was a vegan, didn’t she

Is this available in the UK now?

Reddit has a lot to say about Christine's pregnancy. I've fallen down a rabbit hole.

Lola wrote: ↑Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:27 pm She used to like to tell people she was a vegan, didn’t she

Absolutely but they won't even give her enough air time to say it now. Yes, it's absolutely available on UK Netflix, go go goooo.

I'm now on episode 4 and I'd like to say that my chances of getting any work done this afternoon are hurtling towards zero.

Embrace it, Goat! (I hope you have nothing to deliver until at least Tuesday).

I stayed up until half one last night to finish the series.