Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

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baargain
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by baargain »

Smunder Woman wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 8:43 am Bats' rant got delivered almost word for word to my GP recently, who asked what was the point of a diagnosis when I've gotten to 36 fine :ella:
Hah! Nice one.

I've discovered that our local ASD diagnostic service will accept referrals from me, so if people have disinterested GPs, then I just go round them :evil:
Ella
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Ella »

Jesus, Sum.

In general the medical community doesn’t give a shit about women. Look at how women are more likely to die from a heart attack because they present “differently”. It’s not different, it’s totally normal FOR WOMEN, but nobody ever cared to study women. Drugs have historically not been tested on or calibrated for women because nobody gives a shit about women. The male default is not just irritating; it can kill.
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cluefree
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by cluefree »

Bats! I had absolutely no idea about any of this and I’m so sorry you’ve had such a hard time with it all. I think you are ace. :love2:

I’d be interested to hear the rant too.
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Cosmopolitan
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Cosmopolitan »

I am so sorry you had to go through such an awful time Bats, that is truly shit and I hope you are proud of yourself for getting it resolved alongside the diagnosis and the shock /relief it must have brought.

My niece has been diagnosed with aspergers in the last 3 months after almost a year of anxiety so bad that she can't make it to school and to be honest, the more we understand about her, the more I feel that I also have aspergers and keep trying to decide whether it's worth pursuing getting a diagnosis.
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Dandelion
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Dandelion »

Thanks for sharing, Bats. I am glad that you have ‘come out’ so to speak, as we turtles would not judge you.

I think there are a lot of undiagnosed people on the spectrum. I would also be interested in hearing your rant. :))
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Brier »

Bats, I had no idea, but I'm glad you've found some relief in a proper diagnosis.

A colleague spent a lot of time and energy getting her daughter an ASD diagnosis. She joined an online ASD parent support group and found those with boys had a generally easier/quicker route to diagnosis.
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Heebie Jeebie
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Heebie Jeebie »

I only ever had vague inklings like Smal and had no idea about the autism or alcohol. I'm glad your diagnosis has answered so many questions for you and I hope it will make life easier in future.
Ella77 wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 8:52 am It’s not different, it’s totally normal FOR WOMEN
This :verm:
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Smunder Woman
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

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It's not even easy with boys really, unless they're basically Rainman. Plus it depends on where you live, and how the provision is in the area.

Ella, I know! The 20 years of anti anxiety and anti depressants and referrals to the CPN that are all over my notes clearly indicate I haven't been fine, but I'm doing a PhD and made eye contact with him so I can't be on the spectrum :ella: I mean, I get that medical stuff was historically male related, but it's unacceptable that people are still seemingly unwilling to consider that there's more than one way of presenting, with probably most conditions and illnesses.
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Smunder Woman
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Smunder Woman »

Sorry, I am ranty as fuck about autism, and even more so now. Also, I feel the need to say that Bats and I had a chat in advance and I haven't just tried to turn her thread into one about me :))
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Texaco Shirley
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Texaco Shirley »

Blimey Bats I had no idea. I’m glad things are getting easier for you.
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Bat Macdui
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Bat Macdui »

Cos, there a couple of good books I can recommend as a starting point. Luke Beardon's Adults with Autism and Aspergers and Sarah Hendrickx's Women and Girls with Aspergers are both excellent introductory reads for anyone. And much nicer than immersing yourself in some of SBC's deficit-medical-language shit. Sarah Hendrickx (aka Saint Sarah :love2: ) diagnosed me when I went private (the wait on the NHS was too much for me to cope with).

The working class women rant is a general women and girls rant. Adult women with an autism diagnosis fall very much into two camps. Either their behaviours and issues have been obvious from a very early age and are such that they're probably not able to live independently, OR, they're like me, university educated, working, bright. And the latter group all have private diagnosis, pretty much, because you need to be able to afford to pay in order to get at someone educated and trained enough to recognise the traits. And not (as I know has happened) be sent out because 'you have a job, you can't be autistic' and 'you make eye contact, you can't be autistic', 'you're not non-verbal'. I reckon there's huge swathes of undiagnosed adult women out there who fall between the two groups and it really hurts me because I know how much some of them will be struggling.

SBC's AQ test and the extreme male brain theory means professionals haven't been looking for it in girls. And where a boy might have 'obvious' (stereotypical) traits, like an obsession over tractors and trains and lining things up, girls tend to have special interests that fall much more in line with societal expectations. I read. Ceaselessly. I didn't do brownies or dance class or any of that little girl stuff, I sat alone in my room reading. I was genuinely very happy as a child.. :)) (More on that later if you're interested). Girls are conditioned from an early age to fit in, to be docile, to behave. So they force down and mask more of the obvious autistic behaviours. They don't barge through conversations, because they've learned it's bad form. They are usually obedient (autistics do, generally, like rules). And then when they get to teenage years, they either get very good at pretending, or they implode, or both. There's a whole swathe of autistic women out there who have had eating disorders (I tried that one) or self harm issues etc. (It's cost me a fucking fortune in tattoos).

So the working class women are missing out. One I know from Twitter was referred for diagnosis to a speech and language therapist and an occupational therapist. They asked her to play with some toys whilst they observed her then told her she couldn't be autistic because she was a good mother. :verm: And it's important, because if you spend a lifetime hiding, it comes out in shit mental health. And because if there's no diagnosed autistic women, there's no role models. It's shit.

I am going climbing now, I will pick up some other stuff later. And also hand over to Smunder, my glamorous assistant. :lol:
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Zoomer »

I also had no idea, but massively well done on turning your life around. You have been very brave and excellent.
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Cosmopolitan
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Cosmopolitan »

Bat Macdui wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:24 am Cos, there a couple of good books I can recommend as a starting point. Luke Beardon's Adults with Autism and Aspergers and Sarah Hendrickx's Women and Girls with Aspergers are both excellent introductory reads for anyone. And much nicer than immersing yourself in some of SBC's deficit-medical-language shit. Sarah Hendrickx (aka Saint Sarah :love2: ) diagnosed me when I went private (the wait on the NHS was too much for me to cope with).
Thank you. Will have a look now.

Hear you on the reading ceaselessly. I regularly lol at the kindle adverts that say it needs charging once a month. More like every 4 days.
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Princess Morripov »

Batface :hug: I am so glad things are looking up and making sense. I did have an idea of things and am glad you are throwing it out here and I would love to hear your rant. I had a massive rant at A yesterday about the gender pay gap as he genuinely didn't think it could be that bad, he fully didn't believe it until I pressed his face up to some articles about it (my company came out terrible in a recent study) and demonstrated some examples in Excel, so I'm in the zone about ALL of this shit at the moment :lol:

Also, I'm totally up for making a coming out cake, I will work on something more extravagant than the one to celebrate your fake wedding to Leonardo DiCaprio. :lol:
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by kiwi »

Batters, you poor old sod. There I was thinking you were just slightly bonkers, like a lot of us on here really. I am channelling awkward manly pats Northwards.
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Ella »

Not that bad? So he’s ok with it existing, Pov, as long as it’s not more than- say- 18%?
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Hamm »

I'm so glad you are getting the right help, people self medicate for so many reasons and for your main one to be something that you really can't just work if you work it without proper help must have been so hard. You should be so proud of yourself for fighting for what you need.
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Princess Morripov
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Princess Morripov »

Ella77 wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:16 am Not that bad? So he’s ok with it existing, Pov, as long as it’s not more than- say- 18%?
God no! He just couldn’t believe it was that bad! (59% average at my organisation)
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Pippedydeadeye »

Well done Bats.

The wider things you’ve told us is really interesting stuff, I’d no idea about it at all. I know (work with) someone with a diagnosis and this could be really useful for me to understand her better. So thank you.
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Re: Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

Post by Loralei »

Princess Morripov wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:27 am
Ella77 wrote: Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:16 am Not that bad? So he’s ok with it existing, Pov, as long as it’s not more than- say- 18%?
God no! He just couldn’t believe it was that bad! (59% average at my organisation)
You can kick him out of his complacency about our company. We got a good score but that's because we have hardly any women in blue collar or executive roles so it balances out.

Bats - I know we've talked about this briefly but the more I hear you the more I think I need to question my attitude to over-pathologising in general and Bert specifically. Does the Sarah Hendrickx book focus only on Aspergers or is it good for broadening understanding in general?
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