Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

[Froozy]

This is brilliant, thanks. D had an autism assessment at the start of the year. He wasn’t diagnosed but it’s unclear if this is because he isn’t or because he functions ‘well enough’ and their funding will only stretch so far.

I’ve been meaning to go back through this thread for suggestions for courses/support for him (and me) so this is very timely and helpful.

[Smunder Woman]

I wasn't diagnosed because I am doing a PhD and am a single parent, so clearly must be functioning :)) It's possible that strategies will help anyway, and being self diagnosed is fully accepted by autistics, as it's widely known how difficult it is to get a diagnosis.

My report said "definite strong autistic traits", but they said I didn't meet clinical threshold, which is bullshit but a rant for another day :))

[Bat Macdui]

I still think that's just so fucking batshit.

If you can't be arsed reading a whole bunch of mega long posts where I navel gaze, Froozy, Jessica Hewitson's How to raise a happy autistic child and Luke Beardon's Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Childhood come highly recommended. And not just by me, but loads of other, vastly more qualified people who even actually have children. :))

[Froozy]

Thanks both - D is my adult male, so similar to Smun in the holding down a job, home, relationships functioning. Strategies that help make it easier for him to do this functioning would be amazing but we haven’t invested a lot of time in looking for them so far.

I enjoy your navel gazing, Bats . It’s interesting and informative and you write really well so it’s an easy place for me to pick up some vague ideas about how life is for him without actually having to make him communicate with me :lol:

[ParisGal]

Thanks for those course links, Bats, I've forwarded them to my brother who works in a school catering to autistic children amongst other special needs, and he is really interested and is going to share them with his colleagues too.

[Loralei]

Thanks, Bats.

Bert's assessment through the school stalled so I re-requested it via our (very supportive) GP, but got a letter the other week saying all referrals are paused at present. Understandably. The GP said that we should state that she's "under assessment" if we need any of her needs to be taken into account, however, and to call the surgery if he could help.

[Bat Macdui]

Thanks both - D is my adult male

!! :)) Sorry. :)) Those books aren't amazingly helpful, then. :)) Luke Beardon's one for adults is probably a better bet. :)) This by Philip Wylie is really good as well, really accessible.

That's a pain but understandable, Lora. Is Berty doing alright with lockdowny stuff?

Is your brother working in France, PG? For some reason, they seem to be miles behind the rest of the West in understanding/policy.

[Loralei]

That's a pain but understandable, Lora. Is Berty doing alright with lockdowny stuff?

That's kind of you to ask. Yes and no. Tough start, but she and I are learning what she needs. She relies heavily on school, certain friends, her favourite teachers and routine but has found different ways of coping than I'd expected. It's interesting to watch.

Oh, and she's developed her first special interest, in Harry Potter. I like Harry Potter and all, but can't say my life was lacking before I had to consider how difficult it must have been for Emma Watson to act as if she hated Draco when she had a massive crush on Tom Felton, or how it's so weird that Luna Lovegood dated Harry's dad, because Evanna Lynch dated the guy who played a young James Potter, or whether the vulnerability of Voldemort in book 7 represents the vulnerability of Harry pre-book 1 Conversations in our house now go:
Bert: Do you want to hear something interesting?
Other person: Is it about Harry Potter?
B: *pause* No.
OP: Ok then.
B: When Peter Pettigrew lost his finger....WHAT? I said it wasn't about Harry Potter! I'm talking about Peter Pettigrew!

I'm thinking of buying her a book on the M62.

[ParisGal]

[/quote]

Luna Lovegood dated Harry's dad

Eh? I must have massively misunderstood something somewhere :lol:

Is your brother working in France, PG? For some reason, they seem to be miles behind the rest of the West in understanding/policy.

No, England. I don't know much about it in France, I've seen a few documentaries, and I know they sometimes have personal TAs when the child can go to mainstream school, but that it's very difficult to get those places, and specialised institutions are rare and children end up going to school in Belgium sometimes. There was also an American technique being used that is apparently criticised as being more training than educating (I forget the details but it certainly involved giving little treats when a good behaviour was demonstrated, so basically like giving a dolphin a fish when it brings the ball back).

[Froozy]

Thanks both - D is my adult male

!! :)) Sorry. :)) Those books aren't amazingly helpful, then. :)) Luke Beardon's is probably a better bet. :)) This by Philip Wylie is really good as well, really accessible.

Thank you, that’s brilliant :))

[Loralei]

Luna Lovegood dated Harry's dad

Eh? I must have massively misunderstood something somewhere :lol:

Evanna Lynch (who plays LL in the films) dated the actor who plays a young James Potter in a flashback, ergo Luna Lovegood dated James Potter. I am glad you share my confusion

[ParisGal]

Ohhhhh... I thought that meant it was a big coincidence that the characters and actors both dated :lol:

[Jet]

Lora, my S is exactly like that. Currently about Minecraft but in the past it was other things like dinosaurs or whatever show he happened to be watching at the time.

He often wakes up at 5:30am and comes to our bed. He'll be quiet for about 2 minutes then will try to start telling you about what to use to smelt something or how to tame a lama or something.

[olive]

I'm thinking of buying her a book on the M62.

:))

As far as special interests go I didn’t mind the Harry Potter period.

Thanks for links, Bats.

I’d been wondering if T’s medication has been working effectively enough and I have my answer since he’s been at home. He’s been doing slow mo roly polys from his room (one end of the hallway) to the top of the stairs constantly. He’s also juggling (keepy uppys back in my day) obsessively with anything he can get his hands on.

We had a FaceTime check up with his doctor and he bounced like Tigger through the whole thing. He’s on a very low dose at right now so we’ll be giving him a 1/2 a pill more to see how he gets on. It was a disaster when we doubled his dose so hopefully this’ll be ok as his post lunch booster seems to be doing fuck all.

[Jet]

I hope it helps olive.

Although I clearly spend weekends with S, him not being in school all the time seems to be significant. I assume the energy expenditure at school (recess, gym and basically tanking around the gym at afterschool every day) was also helping our weekends. We don’t have that so he’s just leaping around and jumping on things, knocking stuff over, he’s slapped L a good few time unintentionally just by flapping around the place. Even if he’s watching something in headphones when I’m on work calls he tapping his feet on the ground especially if something is exciting.

He’s always so desperate for his breaks from school work to be of his choosing (Minecraft, tv) that he’s not opting for outside time unless forced or I take them for a walk (And L doesn’t have the staying power to go far whereas S can run a mile with me).

I don't remember if I ever mentioned it here but after talking to my sister in law about S recently she mentioned proprioceptive processing and looking it up it seems so much like him, including why (aside from dyslexia) why he hates writing...he presses so hard when writing he gets tired very quickly. I always thought it was an excuse for just not wanting to do it.

[Cerise]

I’ve also been questioning J’s meds. He only has them on school work days but he’s definitely struggling earlier than I would like. However, it’s hard to know whether it’s the meds or the environment. If he was at school, would the normal flow of the day carry him through?

[Bat Macdui]

I'm glad Berty is doing okay, though I am sorry for your Harry Potter woes. :)) R had to (patiently, tiredly) say "I need to leave" yesterday as I monologued about pandemic ramifications for EU structures at him. The poor sod. :))

I need the medication plus structure to function. Either on their own is some help. Both make me productive, calm and less inclined to pinwheel about (mentally or physically). It must be hard with kids, because there's no rationale, when they're at home, to set a really structured day. My motivations are needing to do stuff or approaching deadline, and I don't think there's anything like 'if I miss my deadline, I lose my job' level of comeback for kids at home in lockdown scenario. Best of luck, guys. :))

PG, that's Applied Behavioural Analysis. It is massively controversial. Partly because of the 'training a dolphin to beg for fish' element and partly because in a lot of places it teaches kids to 'pretend to be normal' which alongside massive moral issues is shoring up loads of problems for later life. Particularly if you go about teaching kids that they have to say yes to doing things that make them feel uncomfortable if they're asked by an adult or authority figure. There's loads more nuance than that though, as some version are considering just ordinary SupperNanny type stuff but adapted for autistic stuff etc. So I wouldn't like to say mine is the definitive view. Though I have seen innumerable clips of kids being bribed by food being withheld then treated to do eye contact or 'manage' in a busy, noisy environment and I'd be more inclined to think, why teach them that and not just to, you know, not do eye contact or get them some ear defenders?

[Smunder Woman]

Lora, I get that from Joe, who is (apparently) not autistic. It's like pontification central round here between us all :))

Bats, you would get on very well with my friend from work. We're considering putting up a student project on how badly the "experts" are doing right now

On the structure thing, I've made my supervisor set up a weekly zoom so I have to tell him if I've been a lazy dick and done nothing.

[Sky]

Team Elvanse checking in!

It's been a long, loooooooong time coming since my initial visit to the GP back in the autumn of 2018 but I finally picked up my script this afternoon and will start the meds tomorrow. I'm glad I've got the long weekend to get used to them though and I'm both excited and terrified about it. The lady told me to set an alarm to remember to eat but I'm looking forward to shifting some of my corona weight :ninja:

[Bat Macdui]

Good luck. :)) Are you starting on a low dose and incrementing up? It took me about three weeks to get to an actual, tangible difference on Xaggitin.