Secondary Considerations

[wendy james]

How are all the new starts going? Settling in well, I hope.

That’s what I was coming to ask, a few weeks in.

We had a meet the tutor thing last week, so got to meet Mr F. He said she’s made the transition fine academically and in organising herself, doing homework, etc. She was really happy with her drama assessment yesterday.

She’s started singing lessons and has been staying behind for creative writing and girls football so they’re happy with her extra curricular stuff too. Her tutor has put her name down for being part of the team producing the house newsletter.

It’s still early days friendship wise. She’s managing to shake off the folk from her primary school in her tutor group that she wasn’t keen on. Unfortunately the girls she was more friendly with are in other tutor groups and houses, and indoor space is house specific. She’s had a couple of occasions where she’s eaten lunch with friends from primary who’ve then ditched her to go to their house room for the rest of lunch. (Her tutor spotted her reading on a bench alone, which I knew about and she says she’s not too fussed).

I’ve gently encouraged her to try and build friendships in her tutor group/house and she’s mentioned a couple of names more frequently. It will happen, I’m sure!

[Flora Poste]

That sounds pretty good overall, Weja. I sometimes think it's better to build friendships more cautiously when they start secondary than go in all guns blazing and then have fallings out/ discover you don't actually like them etc etc.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with how C has settled and think we made the right choice of school for him (I had real doubts as a friend's son left last year a few months in and how the school handled it sounded awful, but I have since heard a few things that make me think all was not quite how she painted it). He's started trumpet lessons (for my sins) and seems to be mostly getting on with his homework/ organising himself with some reminders. We have our meet the tutor evening tonight so hopefully will hear more.

Friendship wise I can't tell - he seems to be knocking around with the boys from his primary school a fair bit (he walks to and from school with them) but isn't in the same tutor group as any of them - again, I've heard a couple of names mentioned more frequently, but I'm sure that will come as well.

[Little My]

I was put in a different house to my friends from primary, and it was honestly the death of our friendships because we were moving in different circles. Doesn't have to be a bad thing, but it is definitely a thing. Meeting new people is obviously key.

Putting emphasis on extracurriculars is great!

[wendy james]

That sounds positive Flora. Trumpet

[Cerise]

Parents evening for D yesterday. I only chose to see six subjects but all were glowingly positive about him. Secondary school really has given him a new lease of life with regard to school. He didn’t enjoy Year 6 much with all the SATs practice and he didn’t get on that well with his teacher so I’m really pleased that he has settled well. He’s also doing a grand job of keeping on top of homework and making sure he has what he needs. Very proud!

[Little My]

That's so great!

[wendy james]

I'm glad he's settling in. Was parents evening in person or virtual?

[Cerise]

In person. They sent out a survey asking about preference for consultations and it was apparently about 50/50 for online vs face to face. They decided that the year groups that have two meetings in a year (7, 10 and 11) would have one of each and I can’t remember the decision for Yrs8&9. I felt that it was more spaced out than the last one I went to and didn’t feel as chaotic. This might also have been due to the fact that we booked our own appointments online rather than the children doing it for us at school by approaching individual teachers as it used to be!

[Ruby]

That sounds positive, Cerise.

[Squirrel]

Cerise that’s brilliant!

After 7 years of horrors at primary, I’m so relieved at how this term is going. G has made a really nice group of new friends and I hardly see him at weekends now. This is the first time I’ve ever (in his whole life) felt good about how he’s getting on, he is like a different child. Much more confident and relaxed and he has actual friends. I’m doubly pleased about that because his best friend, previously his only real friend, is about to move away.

This conversation really made me laugh this afternoon, he was discussing with Mr S what time to be picked up as he went to play in the park and ended up at a friend’s house. He read my mind :lol:.

[Squirrel]

AND! When I was snooping on his phone yesterday, I found some flirtatious messages from one of the girls from his primary school :)). She’s lovely and almost certainly neurodivergent herself (and has an autistic brother) and I think it’s so sweet . I don’t think G actually noticed though :lol:.

[Dáire]

My T is in Year 9 and tells us these amusing anecdotes where, to him, the story is about one thing, but to the rest of us it's fairly obvious the female in the story is making excuses to sit by him, join his group, assist with his practical work... he's usually telling us how he acted, which to him is "here is a story about a random girl doing this very odd thing with my Bunsen Burner today, and how offended she seemed at my reaction" and Mr L, his rather astute sister and myself are smirking away, thinking of the poor girl's attentions being cluelessly rebuffed by a boy who firmly states he has no interest 'in that sort of thing'.

His wavy hair exploded into almost cartoon-ish ringlets this past year or so. Despite not being particularly into how he looks, he is very pleased with them and grown it out to jaw-length. At least one girl has already reached out to touch them :lol:

[Squirrel]

"here is a story about a random girl doing this very odd thing with my Bunsen Burner today, and how offended she seemed at my reaction"

:lol: I love this!

His ringlets sound amazing.

[Lily]

I am so pleased to read that G is happy and doing well. Fabulous boy!

[Ruby]

My T is in Year 9 and tells us these amusing anecdotes where, to him, the story is about one thing, but to the rest of us it's fairly obvious the female in the story is making excuses to sit by him, join his group, assist with his practical work... he's usually telling us how he acted, which to him is "here is a story about a random girl doing this very odd thing with my Bunsen Burner today, and how offended she seemed at my reaction" and Mr L, his rather astute sister and myself are smirking away, thinking of the poor girl's attentions being cluelessly rebuffed by a boy who firmly states he has no interest 'in that sort of thing'.

Oh god. This is like the SAM. He had a girl who wrote him poetry once and he still didn't twig.

[Little My]

Things are kicking off this week with various secondary school open houses, and I'm trying to decide what's worth attending.

Mr LM took R to the open house of the art school she really wants to get into. It was more of a "look at our amazing art studios"* than anything practical, like application info or academics and general school information. The regular stream does not have an open house until January. (Just before the application deadline!)

Then her home school has an open day for students to attend this week. It would mean missing an entire day of school, and I'm not really sure what it's about. The thought of her going alone, when most kids will be going as a class, is majorly off-putting. It seems more for kids who are definitely planning to go? They have a family open house in January.

Then there's a new wildcard school option, which she will have guaranteed entry into based on her current school which has become a feeder school. It's in such a pretty, old building but that's about all I know. We should probably check that out later this week.


* B went along too, and has spent the entire weekend doing watercolour paintings and talking about art.

[Cerise]

I’ve just seen J’s progress report ahead of parents evening and his grades are so good, I could actually cry!

ETA: And the other one has just been awarded a detention. He’ll be in bits! Two of the marks were a bit unfortunate (not uploading a tiny piece of the homework even though he had clearly completed the rest online and then not having all his equipment - missing calculator that was actually buried in his bag). But a third for “defiance” so that’ll be an interesting conversation after school!

[Kleio]

What was the defiance for?

Cube (13) has two best friends that have virtually moved in it feels. One of them gets on with Betty really well, the other doesn’t.

Betty is very body confident thankfully and it’s her home so she’s encouraged to do whatever she is comfortable with. Last week she was wearing a onesie and got too hot so unzipped it and tied it around her waist leaving her in just a sports crop top on the top. The lads eyes were out on stalks. The one who gets on with her went red and wouldn’t look once he’d noticed. The other one followed her chest around the room.

What do I do? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable in her own home so I’m just going to give her lessons in saying things like “my eyes are up here” etc.

It was so much easier with toddlers

[Cerise]

Talking when he shouldn’t be.

He was so upset but we’ve talked him down.

Difficult one with your house, Kleio. I suppose I wouldn’t expect anyone to strip to their underwear if we had guests though.

[Kleio]

I wouldn’t describe talking as defiant really.

Difficult one with your house, Kleio. I suppose I wouldn’t expect anyone to strip to their underwear if we had guests though.

It’s not underwear. It’s a crop top but the sort you’d wear to do sport in so pretty full coverage.