IWLTS

[wendy james]

IWLTS it’s no good doing a sad face because the class got cancelled. Bloody book the class then she knows she has enough to run it.

I was the only one booked for yesterday’s 6pm ashtanga class yesterday and we need 4 minimum. She asked in the WhatsApp group at 4pm if anybody else was coming and cancelled it about 40 minutes later when the only responses were regulars confirming they were not coming due to illness, PTA, etc.

Now I get that not everybody is monitoring their WhatsApp all day, but this is how it works. So book the class in the morning or something, rather than doing sad faces that evening like 2 regulars did.

[Morganna]

Oh, don't get me started about people leaving it to the last minute to confirm

The only way is to charge a few weeks at a time with no refunds, and even that doesn't work if you need a set number to do the activity (as opposed to pay the rent on the room). That's why the tarot woman has charged apparently. She used to do the workshops free, but people then treated them as disposable so she charges a nominal fee, which makes sense to me.

Even socially, people just aren't reliable. I have people coming next week. It's been arranged for ages, and there should be five of us including me. One person is generally flaky (A), so I'll expect her if I see her, and another (B) says she is uncertain, as her mum has been in hospital for ten weeks and she doesn't know if she'll be out by next week. The mum is not ill - she has a broken pelvis - so I don't understand why B can't go out for a couple of hours in the evening. That would be ok, but she is the only pescatarian, and of the others one doesn't eat cheese, two don't like fish and B doesn't like spicy food, although they all eat meat. It's limiting enough with all that, so if B isn't coming I will do a steak and ale pie, goose fat roast potatoes and veg (no cheese, fish or spices) but if she opts in at the last minute I am screwed. I've asked her to let me know so I can shop, but she just said she'll tell me when she's 'more sure what's happening'.

[Lily]

In which case she brings her own food!

[Kenickie]

Yes, I think you can't both dither and expect to be catered for specifically.

[Morganna]

I messaged them all and A is not coming as she's stressed because there are builders in the kitchen (it's an evening thing, so ). B hasn't replied yet, but I said I had put in a shopping order and could change it until 10.00pm tonight if anyone doesn't want the steak and ale, and if B is able to make it I will do a separate meal for her. This will be a bought quiche which M will eat if she doesn't come (although I didn't declare that).

It really pushes my buttons when people drop out of arrangements without a second thought. I met this lot through the FB Axe Murderers group, and the other 2 are absolutely lovely, but A and B drop out of more than they stick to. It's a shame, as I get on well with A otherwise. I find B a bit needy generally, so I don't care if she drops out, but que sera.

[Kenickie]

Builders in her kitchen? You think she'd want to escape and be cooked for!

[Morganna]

Ikr. She is a flake. It's a shame, as I like her otherwise, but I can't be friends with people like that. More than once I've kept a morning free to do something with her (difficult just now as I've lost 2 afternoons a week to physio) and turned down other possibilities as I thought I was committed, only to get a last minute text to say she's not coming for a flimsy reason. It annoys me too much to want to bother again. If she suggests it, I'll say she can text me on the day and I'll see if I'm free. Messing people about like that is so entitled, and I'm much better at not putting up with things than I used to be.

[Lily]

You have the patience of a saint Morgs
If B doesn't let you know in good time, she'll have to feed herself. That'll teach her not to treat people so shabbily.

[Morganna]

No, my patience is threadbare.

A can do one. If she wants to stay in touch she can do it on my terms, which won't involve putting anything on hold for her.

B will get a bought quiche, which will stay in the freezer until she arrives, and then be defrosted and cooked in one of my numerous gadgets, for better or worse .

The rest of us will get a steak and ale casserole and enjoy it with or without the sort of people who want everything to be bent to their wishes. I might even rebel altogether and stop keeping Unicorn Droppings Tea in the cupboard on the offchance that some numptie won't drink anything else.

I have had enough of flakes. It's ok if it's a longtime friend going through something. I have infinite patience with that. Genuinely. But randoms expecting me to arrange my life to suit them and then dropping out on a whim can just fuck off.

In other news, I have moved the poetry group back to the Church for exactly those reasons. If people don't want to pay for times when they don't turn up they can drop out rather than expect regulars to subsidise them, but subs are payable for six months ahead. And I have delegated responsibility to a treasurer.

See Me Rise

[Kenickie]

Go Morgs!

[Lily]

Morgs, this is your Ricki Lake moment!

[FiveO'Clock]

Go Morgs!

I'd like to channel some of your no more nonsense attitude. I have overwhelming anxiety after R's video chat with his mother and sister during which my MIL suggested that R move back to the UK. Understandably, the suggestion is due to Trump, but it was just for R, not the two of us. He's angry and hurt and I'm tired of the constant disrespect

[Pippedydeadeye]

That’s so rude, Five!

[Little My]

It is incredibly rude! Sorry, Five. I do kind of know how you feel. I've avoided being on a FT call with the in-laws since last year. (November, maybe.) Perhaps worth not being around for the next one or two, for your own sanity?

[emma_p]

Wow that is rude

[FiveO'Clock]

I stopped doing video calls when they couldn't stop talking about R's ex. It was so weird and I thought it was rude but they thought I was just jealous of her. I'm not, I don't even know her but apparently she's been loud and clear about how much she hates me. He's been divorced almost 25 years and his family never wanted him to marry her in the first place. We've been married for over 7 and I'm not even sure they have an issue with me as a person. Maybe they do or maybe it's because I'm American or not a Catholic. R has become very aware how badly he's been treated for a very long time and has been close to cutting them all out, but little do they know, I've been insistent that doesn't happen. Life's too short for regrets if you can avoid them.

Anyway, I feel better now. Thank you all for your support

[Hazey_Jane]

Oh Five, I’m sorry that sounds so tough. How insensitive of them.

[Topcat]

They are fucking twats.

[rosy]

How nasty of them, Five. I would love my eldest to move back to the UK but I wouldn't ever expect him to leave his wife behind - they are a partnership!

[FiveO'Clock]

They are fucking twats.

This may be (is) true.

You've been really supportive of your son's relationship, Rosy, and it must be hard at times. I understand R's family feeling the same way, except for the fact that he lived outside of the UK for six years before we met and his brother has lived in Rome for 30+ years. In fact, they all left London years before R and I even knew each other. Even so, I don't blame them for wanting him closer. I notice R wanting to make sure I see all the things in the UK that I've ever mentioned and I know there's part of him preparing to not go back for a while after the trip this summer. I love him (and the UK) too much to allow that to happen, but I do get how he must be feeling. It's ironic that his ex was the catalyst for him leaving and I'm the one keeping him coming back. I don't envy her, she's kind of my best friend, all things considered. I also think it's hilarious that they think we could afford to live there. We have a large 5 bed house with a large garden in the middle of all of my family and our friends, but R and LLL both confirm we couldn't swap it for more than a one bed and likely no garden in the UK, not close to any of his family nor our friends there.