The 'is this ok?' thread

[Shoe]

I've just been out for my walk, every bus that passed had nobody on it except wee old ladies. Why are they all still out?! There are so many local groups offering help I can't understand why people are still going out.

[Morganna]

I think a lot of them (wee old ladies) are used to being independent and see help from volunteers as 'giving in'. My mum would be horrified to have to ask for help like that, as she prides herself on being useful and contributing to society. She infuriates me, but it is honestly like talking to a wall.

The only way I can get through to her is by going all Daily Mail on her, and talking in 'Old Women Responsible For More Deaths Than Terrorists!!' headlines, done in a shocked but stern voice. It might be slowly getting through to her.

[bramblerose]

Wee old ladies are a force to be reckoned with! I have had numerous conversations with my mum. I've said she can go for a walk but going to the shops is not something she should be doing.

I spoke to her last night to check how she was and did she need anything from the shops... oh no, I was in Aldi the day before yesterday getting a few bits and pieces... What can you do? I have told her, D has told her in no uncertain terms but still, off she goes. At least she isn't going out on the bus or in the car anymore

[olive]

Mr L had to take S to the fracture clinic at the hospital today (it was grim there, apparently) and then went to pick up some fresh stuff from the small supermarket on our high street. It wasn't very busy, and 2m social distancing zones were being carefully enforced. He was packing the groceries when a little old lady wandered in, walked up to S and started ruffling his hair and asking about his cast and began to chat to the check out operator. When Mr L politely pointed out that everyone is observing social distancing, and could she move away a bit please she huffily told him that she had lived through the war, and SHE didn't have the virus.

Fucking hell, Liv. My neighbour looked completely baffled when I asked her not to come into our garden and stay away from the boys. She also works in paediatrics so is a) in contact with super spreader children all day long b) should know better.

Mr O and I are at the end of our tether with our parents. My dad is still going to the supermarket every 2-3 days rather than stock up and will not be told. Mr O’s mum is still working and point blank refuses to stop.

[sally maclennane]

Wee old ladies are a force to be reckoned with! I have had numerous conversations with my mum. I've said she can go for a walk but going to the shops is not something she should be doing.

I spoke to her last night to check how she was and did she need anything from the shops... oh no, I was in Aldi the day before yesterday getting a few bits and pieces... What can you do? I have told her, D has told her in no uncertain terms but still, off she goes. At least she isn't going out on the bus or in the car anymore

I hear you! My mum assures me she's not going out, but for someone who is meant to be in the house all the time, she sure knows a lot about what's happening in her neighbourhood!

[Mountain Goat]

Mr G's parents are busy running down all the silly people who are going out but assume that a daily stroll to get the Daily Mail, and twice weekly shopping trips "for a few bits and pieces" is fine because it's them.

[Lily]

I walked to the cemetery. It took 3 hours (there and back) and I went via my friend's house so we could chat 2m apart. She is 72 and staying in. I did invite her to join me for the walk but she said the venue did not appeal. She is very scared of what's going on but she still came to her door in bright pink lipstick (she used to be a model).

[TracyA]

My mum has totally accepted that she has to stay in now . Yesterday her window cleaner came, she put a tenner in a little plastic ‘litter picker’ to pay him through a slightly open door.

Or local fb group keeps posting about groups of boys in the parks. Where are their parents ? I don’t understand.

[mojojojo]

My mum, on the other hand, started self isolating a couple of weeks ago, way before she had to! We’ve introduced her to House Party this week, which has been good value

[Cerise]

My parents have really pissed me off today so I sent them an email saying that we’re all (me and my siblings) not visiting and keeping their grandchildren away to protect them and yet they think it’s ok to go out for a paper if they “take precautions”. I’m not happy.

[Squirrel]

I housepartied with two friends yesterday, both of their parents are completely ignoring instructions. One is diabetic and has history of heart problems, but was insisting on going to work with his son, who has young children. But it was “only Son” so it was fine, he said. I’m assuming the increasing clamp downs will make this more difficult for him.

The other friend’s mum escaped and went to a service station! I mean, we all feel like it but NO.

[Texaco Shirley]

I’m reading this thread and wondering whether I’m being too slack but I’m still worrying about the physical/mental balance. Every time I speak to my mum I talk about the risk (which occasionally she recognises) but I think if I can persuade her to do one trip a day to a shop she can walk to rather than get on a bus I’m probably doing OK. Seeing no one else is probably her worse nightmare.

[sally maclennane]

I think your mums circumstances are different, Tex. Just do what you feel is best for her.

[viggy]

I'm realising that having to self isolate before the lockdown means I'm not really feeling prepared for going back into the world. I'm a single parent, do I take BM to trawl from shop to shop with me when I have to go? Leave her with my parents in their 70s, or my friend and her kids who are in the same position as me? Drop her at her Dad's? I can't follow all the rules at once, and if my cough doesn't shift, or BM's doesn't, then we shouldn't be going out at all.

[Jet]

I am not suggesting it as the prime option but I went to several stores over 2-3 days with S as I had to and we couldn’t get what we needed. He is a decent age to understand the protocol and comply so I didn’t feel it was too risky ie no touching stuff (I handled every thing), no face touching and sanitizer as soon as we stepped out then a good hand washing when we got home. The reason for not waiting until I could go alone was that we couldn’t get what we needed to early morning and multiple store was the only option. That said - if I were a single parent here I don’t have friends nor family to take the kids so I’d be going with them in tow in that circumstance. This cant be unusual.

That said, now that L is also home i wouldn’t do the same as he’s not old enough to get it and is generally non compliant. But if I had no where to leave him I’d have no choice

I shared a really good video (IMO) from a NY doctor on the main Covid thread that I found helpful for day to day precautions - https://www.themockturtle.com/Amock/vie ... 6#p2623666

[Teasel]

Viggy, I'm in a similar position and I've been taking N with me. A chat before we went about staying next to me, not touching things unnecessarily etc. I gave her the list and a pen so she had something to hold and do. I did find it really stressful but it was my first time out after self isolation too.

I think for single parents with no other option it's OK to take them with you.

[smalex]

My friend is in the same situation Vigs and has taken her 8yr old. I think it was fine. I think I'd be more worried about other shoppers being a bit sanctimonious than the actual risks to W/risks W poses (if I had to take him).

[Cerise]

I’m reading this thread and wondering whether I’m being too slack but I’m still worrying about the physical/mental balance. Every time I speak to my mum I talk about the risk (which occasionally she recognises) but I think if I can persuade her to do one trip a day to a shop she can walk to rather than get on a bus I’m probably doing OK. Seeing no one else is probably her worse nightmare.

Your situation is very different and sounds right for it. My parents have my brother staying with them and his “work” has slowed because everywhere’s shut. They have no need to take their recycling somewhere “because it will build up”.

Vigs, you have no choice but to take her with you when you go but she’s old enough to understand and follow some instructions.

[Marth]

My mum is driving me mad. She called today before she pops off on the bus into town to go to the big Sainsbury's because she's ran out of bread.

I explained to her again that no one should be on public transport unless it is utterly essential, and going to town for a loaf of Hovis is not essential, esp when she can walk to 3 corner shops and a co-op.

I explained to her that key workers getting the bus need those buses to be as empty as possible to keep THEM safe, esp as many have young children, older or ill people at home.

I explained that preferring Hovis over the bread that the co-op sell is not essential, esp when Sainsbury's probably won't even have any, and esp when I have just explained to her that I have got her two delivery slots for the next couple of weeks.

"But I like Hovis, it's the bread I always have".

Hopefully after a contained rant she now understands that she should just buy any bread she sees if she wants bread, and to buy it locally, or think of something else for breakfast.

Honestly, I don't want to terrify her or anything, but stop popping into town on the arsing bloody bus.

[Kenickie]

Oh that's so frustrating, Marth.