Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

[Smunder Woman]

Shoe, I put the exhaustion down to depression or anxiety for years, and it's entirely possible that's why I'm permanently shattered.

[Bat Macdui]

I'm over-thinking again, aren't I?? Also, I'd probably get a dog and occasionally go to yoga, so might manage to wash at least twice a week. :))

[absley]

I'm so late to this. Thanks both for sharing and being so open - it's really interesting and I am going to do some more reading as my understanding/ experience of autism is all the oriented around the traditional more male models. I have a friend who is autistic and loves talking about different aspects of it, so it will give me a new angle for our next chat!

[Zoomer]

Not having to leave the house is a benefit, but there's also a risk of going totally feral :))

Not going totally feral is overrated, imo. Embrace the feralness. :burp:

[Mountain Goat]

I have just had a wash. :humble:

[Bat Macdui]

I have just had a wash. :humble:

It doesn't count if it was just Moo licking your feet.

[Lily]

Well blow me down. I would never have figured either of these things Bats; I'm glad you told us and hope you can feel more yourself with us now.

I opened this thinking you felt sorry for Roy Moore. I will now go back and read the whole thread. :ondine:

[Mountain Goat]

I have just had a wash. :humble:

It doesn't count if it was just Moo licking your feet.

What? Why?!

[Bat Macdui]

I opened this thinking you felt sorry for Roy Moore.

More or less probable than me being an autistic alcoholic??

Much as I love Moo, I don' think he's probably that hygienic.

[olive]

I need three lists and a set of post-its to leave the house, trusting me with self employment seems.... ambitious. :lol:

I can do lists for you! I have colour coded post it system and everything.

[humbugger]

I'm a teacher (maybe the one you were trying to remember) and I'll definitely do the module, thanks for sharing. I have an autistic girl in my class this year, currently undiagnosed due to parents refusing for years but being diagnosed at the moment, and have definitely taught other girls with traits. Your recommendations are really helpful, as well as generally interesting.

Yes, I thought it was you, but then I wondered if I had you mixed up with Humbugger, that similar username thing. I am glad to be able to help a bit.

Oh Good Lord, I could never be a teacher!

A lot of what you're saying resonates though. x

[Turtle Bean]

I file that under 'WHY THE FUCK DID NO-ONE MENTION THIS TO ME??' Yes, I am giving YOU a Look, Ruby. :))

:)) I will try to answer this semi-earnestly. I have always thought that people who were clearly a bit autistic ... were just a bit autistic and that's fine. I find people's 'obsessions' interesting and I don't like touching anyway and I am 100% comfortable with them. It hadn't occurred to me that they didn't know, or that they would feel better with a diagnosis. People going for an autism diagnosis has always puzzled me in a way - I didn't know why people needed what I perceived as validation for their personality. It hadn't really occurred to me that people needed an explanation and not just validation - and that diagnosis could provide a sort of road-map for their feelings. It was when you told me about [long word beginning with an A that means you don't know what you're feeling] that it occurred to me that some people might just need to be told they're autistic.

I'm catching up as I wanted to read this properly but Ruby has articulated this for me also. I mean what with the motorway museum I did realise that you were a tad unusual but I thought that was fine, I've got a lot of slightly peculiar friends so have at it. :)). But it must make such a difference to you to know.

[George]

I also thought the motorway thing was an in- joke. :))

I’m glad you’ve told us Bats.

[sally maclennane]

Article about this in today's Guardian - it doesn't really say anything new but at least is a bit of a recognition

https://www.theguardian.com/society/201 ... ender-bias

[Duophonic]

I'm another one who had no idea, Bats and I'm glad you're talking about it and coping.

I've mentioned before but I was diagnosed very early on as I had some extreme traits as a child, head banging, selective mutism, unable to relate on any human level really so I was sent to a psychologist. I've had more assessments and IQ tests that you can shake a stick at so I have a real chip on my shoulder about being considered stupid.

I've always been on the periphery of any social group due to not fully being able to master mimicry properly. If I'm in a group of woman that I'm familiar with but not overly friendly I will try and gauge the group and then mimic a reaction, this ALWAYS falls flat and leaves me really resentful as I assume I'm reading the situation but I'm obviously a few beats off, couple that with an extremely strong sense of justice/right and wrong so I tend to overstep the mark quite a bit especially when I let my guard down. I also use forceful language which I can't seem to dial down like saying I hate something instead of having a mild dislike.

My brain takes in so much information that I can seem dizzy and out of my depth but I'm so busy processing every possible reaction to any one situation that the small stuff gets shoved out.

My obsession with anything that I'm interested in, music especially can get out of control at times and I will talk about it until I'm hoarse.

I'm not touchy feely at all although I do try and I have issues with levels of pressure, textures and textiles. I didn't wear socks or tights with shoes until I was in my early twenties.

I use the method of loci to memorise things and it takes the form of one of my happy places, a library so every memory I have is in an old fashioned library card catalogue and if I'm riffling through those cards I'll sit and unconsciously rub my face.

My main issues day to day is I constantly look bored (I call this screen saver mode) which puts folk off talking to me and my small talk game is poor so to counteract that I have to be ON and that is exhausting.

If you were to ask me if I'd change how I think, nope, never. If you'd ask me the same question twenty years ago I'd have given anything to change, to be normal.

[Bat Macdui]

I thought you had said something ages ago, but I wasn't sure if it was something you wanted bringing back up. :))

I so get the Too Much Information thing. But for years I just thought everyone was like that and I was the one who wasn't coping.

My Mum ignored (ie, didn't try to get me professional help) some episodes of selective mutism and rocking/headbanging when I was small. I kind of understand why she did, but that's not stopped me being angry about it for a while. I just think if I'd known things would've been easier eventually. Even if it'd taken a while to get there.

I'm glad you wouldn't change now. I think you're pretty brilliant, really.

[Loralei]

That's so interesting, Duo, and I see a lot of what you've described in J. I'm not self-diagnosing my children again (honestly!) but, as was said further up the thread, lots of people have autistic characteristics without necessarily being autistic and hearing these perspectives from intelligent, articulate and (sorry for being shallow) likeable people is really helpful in understanding them and not being daunted by them.

I'm also glad you wouldn't change you, and I too think you are an excellent sort.

[Ruby]

My 'rule' with my own children is that I ignore anything weird about them until I think it's having an impact or causing them problems with bullying etc. I am 75% sure that the SAM has some sort of sensory processing disorder, and/or is dyspraxic, but as long as he is managing it I have left him alone. I don't want to pathologise his personality. I don't know if this is the right approach now.

[Duophonic]

Thank you all, you're so kind. I'm always really appreciative that my grammar isn't corrected on here or that I type as if I'm typing a telegram :lol:

Mini was diagnosed as dyspraxic at the end of last year and it explains so much. She's found it a relief and is happy to have her own thoughts validated by a professional.

It runs in my family the poor sod.

I think that's a great rule of thumb Ruby.

[Smunder Woman]

Yeah, I think that's a good rule of thumb too, Ruby.