Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

[Ruby]

OK. But are you sure he isn't going to be posting on TMT Next Generation about how his awful mother knew he was sort-of batshit but didn't bother doing anything about it? :))

[Texaco Shirley]

If he does I think L will be nodding along with him.

[Shoe]

I use the method of loci to memorise things and it takes the form of one of my happy places, a library so every memory I have is in an old fashioned library card catalogue and if I'm riffling through those cards I'll sit and unconsciously rub my face.

I know we've talked about this before but I find your library utterly fascinating and would love to be able to have similar in my head. My brain is totally incapable of it though.

And for what it's worth, I really enjoyed working with you, in part specifically because you think a bit differently, and have a different approach to things. AND you are one of the smartest most switched on people I know so it makes me sad that you ever felt like you were stupid just because you're brain works a bit differently.

[Ruby]

I have always 100% enjoyed Duo's company. I know no-one wants my approval :)) but I though I should say it because you're honestly not terrible at the social stuff.

[Marth]

OK. But are you sure he isn't going to be posting on TMT Next Generation about how his awful mother knew he was sort-of batshit but didn't bother doing anything about it? :))

I have these fears about SB2, but he would go absolutely spare if I talked to him about it. School wanted him to see an ed psych. He went once and refused to go again. He had a complete meltdown at our cahms appt. he has such a need to fit in, but he knows he doesn’t really. I now make adjustments (mainly in how I relate to him, and things I allow him to do/not do).

[Duophonic]

Thank you, you're both so kind and your payments will be in the post. :))

I think a lot of it is due to me not being able to get out of my own head so always feel a bit awkward and uptight which is were alcohol gets involved.

[Pippedydeadeye]

I have always 100% enjoyed Duo's company. I know no-one wants my approval :)) but I though I should say it because you're honestly not terrible at the social stuff.

Same.

[Duophonic]

OK. But are you sure he isn't going to be posting on TMT Next Generation about how his awful mother knew he was sort-of batshit but didn't bother doing anything about it? :))

I have these fears about SB2, but he would go absolutely spare if I talked to him about it. School wanted him to see an ed psych. He went once and refused to go again. He had a complete meltdown at our cahms appt. he has such a need to fit in, but he knows he doesn’t really. I now make adjustments (mainly in how I relate to him, and things I allow him to do/not do).

My heart goes out to him Marth. This was me in school, desperately wanting the easy friendship that everyone else had and not achieving it. School was hell for me but I found my people at Uni.

Now I'm middle aged and seldom give a fuck, I no longer hide the weirdness nor get upset if someone doesn't "get" me as tbh I don't get the majority of folk either. I also have no qualms in dropping a friendship whereas before I'd cling on if it was totally toxic.

[Bat Macdui]

OK. But are you sure he isn't going to be posting on TMT Next Generation about how his awful mother knew he was sort-of batshit but didn't bother doing anything about it? :))

There's several worlds of middle ground between my mother and 'NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES'* and going gung ho for as many labels as you can. An iterative watch and wait including research of what the impacts might be seems a perfectly reasonable way forward. I really think the biggest thing is about knowing/understanding yourself and you need parental guidance for that, not a label.


*Lollolol *fall over*

[Bat Macdui]

I also totally feel for SB2. I really hope he finds his tribe somewhere along the line.

[Kenickie]

I have always 100% enjoyed Duo's company. I know no-one wants my approval :)) but I though I should say it because you're honestly not terrible at the social stuff.

Same.

I would echo this, and also for Smunder, who makes the perfect hot tub companion, and Bats who was great company in Wales. I know it's not the point, as obviously a big part of the whole male /female difference thing is the ability to mask, (and no one is asking for my approval either) but you are all pretty good on this.

I don't remember getting any M60 chat though so maybe that would have made me think on. ;)

[Loralei]

I really think the biggest thing is about knowing/understanding yourself and you need parental guidance for that, not a label.

But who is guiding the parents to give guidance?

[Smunder Woman]

Thanks Ken.

I think as long as you're not belittling them for being slightly odd, you're fine :)) I hope SB2 finds his tribe soon. It took me until I was in my early 30s and went to uni, but I got there! Now I feel I have found my people and will never leave.

I'm fairly certain I would at least be referred for *something* if I was a child now. Aside from anything else, I spent a lot of time in sheer rage, which I can see now was basically just me not coping and going into fight mode. I was either painfully shy and quiet, or totally furious. I didn't feel angry though, just constantly a bit trapped. And under massive pressure to try and fit in with something I couldn't even try to understand. Ive briefly mentioned gender stuff on here before, and I was told from the time I was about 8 that I clearly should have been a boy, and I do suspect I would have been one of the confused teenagers trying to fix my issues by coming out as transgender. Obviously, this would only have made everything worse because it wasn't true at all :))

[Bat Macdui]

I really think the biggest thing is about knowing/understanding yourself and you need parental guidance for that, not a label.

But who is guiding the parents to give guidance?

Read shitloads of stuff by adults who have the same thing. And if anyone even thinks about mentioning ABA run a million miles. :))

I have SO MANY theories on the autism/gender thing. I cannot bear thinking about the undiagnosed girls going the wrong route. It just stores up so much more to cope with after if they get near medical intervention in their teens.

[Montana]

Sorry I'm late to this thread - have been reading on my phone but hadn't had a chance to reply before now. This thread has quite blown my mind and given me a lot to think about both about where certain of my own traits (social awkardness, procrastination, lack of organisational ability, extreme clumsiness) fit onto a neurodiverse spectrum, but also my friend's daughter whose parents are starting to think may be ADHD but, as discusssed, presents differently to the male hyperactive model. So I wanted to particularly thank Bats for putting this out there in the open forum rather than MO, which must have seemed like the instinctive thing for such a personal topic and letting it reach more people. I don't think anyone reading this won't have felt enlightened in some way.

As for the motorways being a giveaway, I do remember noting the interest as unusual, and if it had been a guy would have probably made the link, but I suppose it's another angle on the gender thing that in a woman I just saw it as quite an endearing quirk. Had I thought of it another thing that would have put me off was your gift for language and story-telling which in my ignorance I would have deemed incompatible with ASD. I fondly remember a very funny haunted house Halloween (?) story you wrote one year featuring TMT members.

Anyway, it sounds like exciting times ahead for you (and smurf* - you really should co-author that book!) and I really wish you loads of luck with it all.

*whose research topic sounds absolutely fascinating.

[George]

I only noticed that this wasn’t in MO and I think that’s brilliant.

I have been doing some reading thanks to this thread and it’s very relevant for me at the moment, so thank you. I really do think it has helped me deal with things in a more thoughtful and reflective way.

[baargain]

I was chatting about the underdiagnosis today with my team leader. I think one of my newbies may well be somewhere on the ASD spectrum somewhere.

[Ruby]

I started reading the book about women with ADD but I got distracted and bored.

[Smunder Woman]

I started reading the book about women with ADD but I got distracted and bored.

[Ruby]

I know, right? This thread has got me questioning everything. I have decided that the impact of my ... erm ... inattentiveness is not severe though.