Are you going it alone, Smun? I did my sister and R for one and just my sister for another but it'd be fine alone. My sister was vaguely handy for 'things in childhood' but mostly it was just me wittering.
Olive, I get this thing on meds day evenings where I don't quite know what to do with myself. In that I'm tired, but my brain isn't going a million miles an hour and I don't know if I am too tired to manage a usual activity, like reading or whatever or if I'm just relaxed (unexpectedly, because I am not used to ever feeling relaxed) and it's really disorientating.
Also, bear with me, here follows a massive bit of theorising, but there's a point to it, promise.
The more I read and understand from autism/ADHD theory and papers and from people with one or both, the more I think that the overlap between all of the things that come under the neurodiversity umbrella is huge and smudgy and there's no real way to separate them. So, autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalcula, sensory processing disorder, social and communication disorder, etc. I know so many people with ADHD who recognise in themselves that they have autism traits and are all 'well, it's not enough to be be diagnosed' and same with autistic people 'my executive function is screwy, but probably not enough for an ADHD diagnosis'. And it is widely recognised now that the learning difficulties go with ADHD and autism frequently. And you come back to that thing I've talked about before. Definitions and diagnostic criteria for all of them are based on
what is visible on the outside and how that has been interpreted by a series of clincians and academics, some of whom may be looking to prove their own theories rather than observing independently (insert Simon Baron Cohen is a massive twat reference here). Crucially, they've not been looking at all closely what is experienced by the person with the diagnosis.
I really think the best way to head in some utopian future is for a much more over arching diagnosis type thing, where if you present with traits related to things under the neurodiversity umbrella, then someone/some people look at what those traits and which are significant enough to have an impact on day to day life. So instead of coming out with 'you're autistic and have ADHD with a touch of dyspraxia' you come out with a 'yep, neurodiverse, needs help with some things, here's a plan that includes meds for ADHD executive function, required school/work support for learning difficulties and personalised solutions around dealing with social and communication differences'.
I think the current way of doing diagnosis is limiting and also means that people just don't get a full understanding of themselves because they think 'oh, well, I have an ADHD diagnosis, so I won't have social problems, like an autistic person'. Or 'I have an autism diagnosis, which states I might be clumsy and have crap motor control, and have executive function issues, but it means I probably don't have actual ADHD or dyspraxia'. Which can then lead to an incomplete picture and not enough help with everything that is a struggle.
And all of these things have proven links to sensory processing disorder, which is the bit of autism that people recognise as not coping with noise, not coping with smells, not coping with bright lights, not coping with itchy labels in clothes, not coping with heat/cold, not coping with too much information input. The ADHD diagnosis does recognise noise processing problems, but none of the other issues. The learning difficulties ones don't even mention sensory processing.
ANYWAY. The point I was getting to in my usual long winded way, is that T might have traits that fall under other diagnoses, and might not be able to articulate that to you. And if he's having meltdowns, are these related to the ADHD and the meds (highly possible) or are they related to the kind of Too Much Information meltdowns usually more associated with autism and sensory processing disorder? The sound/hearing thing being more closely associated with ADHD means he might be quite likely to be a bit like me, where when it's all a bit too much, just talking to R whilst the washing machine is going in another room feels a bit like I am under assault from 8 toddlers doing fire engine impressions next to me and a brass band tuning up on the other side. :)) Or in the office with a couple of conversations going on round me, plus phones ringing, plus something outside with it's reversing beep on can make me want to get under the desk and go foetal. :))
Which is an even more long winded way of saying, maybe get him some headphones or ear defenders? :))
