Simon Baron-Cohen can stuff right off

[Cerise]

That is really annoying!

For getting an adult diagnosis, how to you choose your clinic? I’m stuck with decision paralysis!

[Smunder Woman]

I went with Bats' recommendation :)) I'm not sure if they're still the best option, but can share details if you like?

[Cerise]

I went with Bats' recommendation :)) I'm not sure if they're still the best option, but can share details if you like?

Thanks, Smun. I have found somewhere I feel comfortable with and have finally self-referred. :)

[Smunder Woman]

I went with Bats' recommendation :)) I'm not sure if they're still the best option, but can share details if you like?

Thanks, Smun. I have found somewhere I feel comfortable with and have finally self-referred. :)

Excellent. Good luck with it all.

[Bat Macdui]

Sorry, I missed this. Though my recommendations are very out of date now, anyway. Good luck, I hope it goes well.

[Bat Macdui]

Remember to check (if you haven't already) your GP's view on shared care - i.e., if you are prescribed medication, will the GP prescribe once you've been signed off by the private consultant.

[Cerise]

Remember to check (if you haven't already) your GP's view on shared care - i.e., if you are prescribed medication, will the GP prescribe once you've been signed off by the private consultant.

They did/do for J but I will check, thank you!

[Smunder Woman]

How are you getting on with it all, Cerise? If you want to answer, of course.

The school system here has a lot of different options depending on need, so Jack had to get assessed for intellectual disability. Good news is he does not have any intellectual disability. Bad news is that means he does not qualify for the school he's been going to The psychologist is going to argue for it being the best option for him as autism means he still has difficulty learning even if it's not ID, and he's settling in nicely after being out of school for ages. Part of me is wondering if we shouldn't argue though, as maybe part of his problem with school is it's below his level. I have no idea though, tbh. We're just back from the GP with some sertraline for him to try as his anxiety is crippling (he basically only leaves the house to go to school two mornings a week, and then sleeps for a whole day more or less after each of those). He's been a lot better in general since moving, and has no anxiety at home, but he has no life. He said he wanted to try medication so he can do fun stuff again, so here's hoping.

[Ella]

I like Oliver Burlemam’s advice on the whole. He says not to wait until you feel like doing the thing: just start it anyway.

[Cerise]

Poor Jack, that sounds so tough for him! I hope the new meds help with the anxiety.

I have an appointment in mid-June. The questionnaires all landed in my inbox today which is helpful because my mum is coming over tomorrow so can do the childhood one. They said that two people should fill out the adult observer one but I’m not really sure who else to ask other than Mr Sax. No one else sees how I struggle and can only go on what I’ve told them or moaned to them about!

Thanks for asking.

[Smunder Woman]

Great, mid-June isn't too long to wait now. I hope your mum can help with the forms too. I only had one person do mine, so hopefully one is enough!

Thanks, I hope they help too. The first hurdle will be getting him to take them and persevere when they don't work immediately.

[Cosmopolitan]

I thought the forms really didn't take into account how much masking could affect you. So fill them in as if you weren't masking and hiding every struggle.

[Cerise]

So I talked to my mum and sister yesterday. It wasn’t new news as I talked to them before about moving forward with assessment and that I’d need at least mum to complete a form.

Both of them weren’t particularly supportive, I felt, and I feel quite tearful about it. I don’t think they see a “problem”. There were lots of “oh well you weren’t like that or that or this” and “but everyone finds that stuff hard” and “but you’ve organised big fundraising school fairs so how can you be disorganised and struggling to get things finished”.

They don’t see the me that sits in the middle of Too Many Things and cries because it’s Too Bloody Much. I don’t show them that.

Mr Sax is much more supportive and was delighted to see that there was an extra box for extra information.

[Cerise]

I thought the forms really didn't take into account how much masking could affect you. So fill them in as if you weren't masking and hiding every struggle.

Yes, how would someone know that I’ve zoned right out of their conversation because I’m still maintaining eye contact and nodding along? :))

[Smunder Woman]

I found the same with my family, Cerise. It was very disappointing and upsetting.

And yes to the forms not accounting for masking!

On a sort of related note, I had to give a lecture for a teaching qualification yesterday. I called it "Neurodiversity in the classroom: what the research doesn't show you" and did a live analysis of my own body language, tone of voice and gestures as I spoke, then described how I look as an effective learner when I'm not the teacher. Spoiler: I do not look as if I'm engaged :)) Anyway, it went down very well and there's possibly some research coming out of it. The teacher asked if I would like to work together on an interview study about teaching as a neurodivergent teacher, which sounds really interesting.

[Cosmopolitan]

If it helps Cerise, my mum was pretty similar and has now totally come round to realising that so many things were related to actual adhd and not just because 'that's the way she is'. She did a little reading of some things I sent her and has realised that while obviously, you can do all these things, it's much more difficult for you to do them than for other people and that leads to overwhelm.

[Luce]

So I talked to my mum and sister yesterday. It wasn’t new news as I talked to them before about moving forward with assessment and that I’d need at least mum to complete a form.

Both of them weren’t particularly supportive, I felt, and I feel quite tearful about it. I don’t think they see a “problem”. There were lots of “oh well you weren’t like that or that or this” and “but everyone finds that stuff hard” and “but you’ve organised big fundraising school fairs so how can you be disorganised and struggling to get things finished”.

They don’t see the me that sits in the middle of Too Many Things and cries because it’s Too Bloody Much. I don’t show them that.

Mr Sax is much more supportive and was delighted to see that there was an extra box for extra information.

Hello, I'd just like to relate to this. Despite the fact that my sister has her proper diagnosis (and medication) and so does her son, my parents are still like this. But the above is the thing stopping me getting mine and it is draining and exhausting and makes me wish I hadn't spent so many years making peoples' lives easier by masking every aspect of my personality. They will kind of hmm and hah as though this is all very silly and then, in the same breath tell funny little stories about how I used to have massive crying 'tantrums' over the way my shoe laces felt etc etc, often made us late to school etc. Those memories are of pure, undiluted distress to me but I tried my best to act chill..

Also get a lot of 'but you're nothing like your sister, you were much easier to deal with' and 'everyone is a bit like that' and and and. Exhausting. It all leaves me in a place where I'm desperate to begin the diagnosis process (I just need to know either way, I've spent 2 plus years thinking about this daily) but can't do so because of risking not being believed. So I'm a bit stuck.

Sorry, Cerise. I'm very impressed you're able to get this sorted and I'm sorry you're not getting quite enough support.

[Cerise]

Not feeling believed! Yes that’s exactly it!

I started the road to diagnosis before I broached it with my mum.

Thanks for sharing. It all really helps.

[Luce]

Not being believed about either big things or small things and not being able to let that kind of thing go (ever) is the thing that will definitely destroy me one day, I'm nervous even putting it on here in case I can sense someone thinking negatively about me across the internet and then wouldnt be able to focus on anything else for the day :lol:

Do you have any old school reports? I believe they can be quite helpful, I'm not sure. Again, warning, mine made me weep for about a day because of all the (now) obviously missed cues but still worth a go!

[Cosmopolitan]

I think that if you think you have adhd, then you most probably have it.