IWLTS

[Lily]

Five, I'm so sorry, that's horrible to hear. Vile individual. Perhaps cutting them out isn't a bad way to go.

[Lola]

IWLTS just do the very simple thing I asked you to do via email. We do not need to have a Teams conversation about this.

I really hate people like this!

[Morganna]

IWLTS Why can't people just stick to what they say they are going to do?

I am hosting a Women's Register thing tonight. We are watching a film based on the last book we read in the reading group, and I asked people to tell me definite numbers last week as we'll all need to see the screen and I have to work out arrangements of chairs. Usually there are six or seven people at the meetings, but this time 14 said yes and 3 didn't reply, so a possible 17, which I wasn't expecting. I decided to split them across two rooms, and have ice cream, popcorn and lemonade instead of the usual tea/coffee and biscuits, as I haven't got 17 cups, and would spend ages making hot drinks for that number instead of watching the film. I bought paper cups and little bowls for the ice cream, flakes, wafers and enough popcorn for two bowls - one in each room. I even got 12 cheap teaspoons, as I don't have 17 of those either

Over the last couple of days, the numbers have dwindled to nine. I don't know whether to split or not, as it will mean 5 in the sitting room and 4 in the dining room, which is not the same as watching together, but nine means an extra four or five chairs to arrange around the existing sitting room furniture so that everyone can see. I know that life happens and people don't always mean to be flakes, but I've also got the Axe Murderer thing on Monday which is still not finalised. It's really selfish behaviour IMO.

[Morganna]

They've left. It went well. Luckily nine turned up, which I'd finally planned for, and we did sit in separate rooms. Nobody expected the ice cream, popcorn or lemonade, so they saw it as a treat, and it was ridiculously easy to do.

The film was Small Things Like These, which was true to the book, but I don't think would make much sense if you haven't read it. It is not a cheery film, in case you were wondering

[Topcat]

Never, ever mix this with poetry Morgs, fucking hell!

[Morganna]

Never, ever mix this with poetry Morgs, fucking hell!

I don't know. It would make excellent fodder for my creative writing - have I told you about the group I go to for that?

[Topcat]

Oh my fucking Christ!

[Morganna]

I retired early. What can I say? I'm not ready for reruns of Poirot and antipodean soaps .

Honestly, I love the way the things work (except when I'm in the thick of organising things). I've joined a new one called something on the lines of Hometown Women Who Like To Go Out. It's a great idea, and has taken off well, but God there are some weirdos amongst them. One day I will write about it all - when the incidents are far enough back in people's memories for them not to recognise their peculiar selves.

TBF, I realise that there is a common denominator in all these groups

[Topcat]

:lol: at the common denominator.

And I know I take the absolute piss out of these groups that you do, but also it is brilliant that you do it.

Write a Northern book about it!

[Morganna]

I might do that hinny - why aye

Also, take the piss as much as you like - no offence taken, and I laugh at it all too. You really get to see life whole when you join these things. It's excellent.

There was someone here tonight who is absolutely lovely but barmy. She wanted to ring her husband and didn't understand that I don't have a landline. I gave her my (mobile) phone as she claimed to have left hers at home. There was a spare phone on my coffee table that people kept telling her was hers, but she wouldn't have it. It had a purple mock-croc cover, so was fairly recognisable . She used my mobile to call her husband to tell him she had a lift home, as he had offered to collect her (she is 100% unsafe on the road herself, as I know to my cost).

When it was time to go she remembered that she had used her phone as a torch to see her way up my (well lit) garden path, so accepted that it must be in my house. She still refused to accept that the coffee table phone was hers, despite the fact that everyone else had gone home, and got increasingly panicked in case someone had taken hers and left their own by mistake. I got her to ring her phone from mine. Guess what happened? Meanwhile, the poor bugger who had offered her a lift was double parked with hazards flashing waiting for her to get in the car.

She is the one who organises the lunches we go on, and insists we all take cash 'as it's easier'. It really, really isn't. It wouldn't be easier in any circumstances, but when she tries to work out the bill it is touchingly hilarious, God love her*. She used to be a big cheese in some sort of ex-pat 'Ladies Thing' in Singapore, and it obviously matters to her that people see her as Mrs Organised and the 'senior lady', so we humour her, and I'm in favour of that.

*this is in spite of the fact that we arrange things so we always go to places with set price menus to make it easier for her, and we all buy drinks at the bar

[Lola]

You could write a Richard Osman style series of books about these people

[ParisGal]

Although the refusing to accept the phone was hers would be ringing dementia alarm bells to me.

[Morganna]

Although the refusing to accept the phone was hers would be ringing dementia alarm bells to me.

It does, rather. Not my circus etc, but I have thought that before now. When she counts the money it is ‘Ten, twenty, thirty, thirty one, thirty two etc’ when pound notes have been extinct for decades. Nothing anyone can do other than cover for her and keep her happy though. She is very kind and well-intentioned (and it’s only once a month )

[ParisGal]

Obviously it's not for you to do anything, but whether it is worrying or not would depend on whether she's always been like that. Not recognising something out of its usual context isn't that surprising, and the doubling down could be for other reasons.

[FiveO'Clock]

TBF, I realise that there is a common denominator in all these groups

I'd buy your book, Morgs

[wendy james]

IWLTS OMG! Just say it once!

A few of us went to a friend’s new house to have a nosey and lunch*. Like nice normal people, we all said thanks for the invite, lovely lunch, happy new home, etc etc as we left.

The WhatsApp group lit up that afternoon with messages from everyone else repeating themselves.

Friend has just posted a few snaps on FB today and it’s all being said AGAIN. The big bunch of weirdos.

*It was a weird carb heavy spread. It was the same last time, but back then I put it down to her recently returning from decades in the US and assumed she was nostalgic for rubbish sandwiches, sausage rolls, jam tarts and fondant fancies or something. :lol:

[H1ppychick]

IWLTS to my manager, don't give me grief about my office attendance stats being too low, when the reason they're too low is that you never updated the HR system to say I'm on compressed hours* like I asked you to, you fucking dick.

*the system shows my "possible office days" as 5 per week when it should be 4, so I'm continually getting a calculated rate of 40% from my 2 days a week attendance when it should be 50%.

[Zoomer]

You should say that, hippy. Maybe without the 'fucking dick' part.

IWLTS: You mean 'about' not 'to'. How the fuck did 'to' in this context ever become a thing? Fucking illiterates.

The TechBros I work with keep using this weird formulation, as in "I"m going to speak to the latest sales figures." It makes no sense. I'm going to shout to it in a meeting some day, I can feel it.

[Princess Morripov]

Oh fuck that’s been going for ages in our place.

“Jenny is going to talk to these slides”
“Perhaps Nick can talk to this for us”

[isambard]

Really? Makes no sense and sounds so cringe. I'm glad I no longer work in an office workplace setting, I would probably shoot somebody.